The Economics of panhandling

5/6/2018 | Mark Randall

[markearl]

The Economics of panhandling

The first thing you'll need to do is forget all the bad imagery you have about panhandling. Begging has been around all through history. And will continue to exist, DESPITE do gooder attempts to help those poor unfortunates. Most of whom are not poor or unfortunate. And really don't need or want the help.

The basic panhandler is standing on the street. Sometimes with a sign, sometimes not. The basic plea will be that the mark, or citizen is asked to part with his or her unneeded cash. This could be coin or bill, it doesn't matter. However, cash would be preferred. But the true panhandler lives by the Ben Franklin truism - A penny saved is a penny earned. Regardless of the preferred method, the end goal is "Those that has, Gives to ME!"

Now, let’s say Bob is standing on the off ramp, or on the street corner, or outside a convenience store. He may or may not have a sign. He may or may not be playing a violin. The point is that a request for "Spare Change" is communicated.

Now let’s say Bob is moderately successful in his panhandling efforts. In an 8-hour period he acquires $100.00 in spare change and bills. Bob repeats his activities for the next 4 weeks. Now if Bob panhandles 7 days a week and collects $100.00 a day for 4 weeks, Bob has collected $2800.00 tax free dollars. Here's an important point folks, these are TAX FREE dollars.

Now how can Bob reach that $100.00 goal. Well simple math breaks it down for you. 5 people at $20.00 per, Well, that's a bit much. But then again depending where you're at $20.00 could be considered "Spare Change". But a more realistic goal would be $5.00 max with most of the collection being in coinage with the odd single tossed in. $15.00 an hour will get you your $100.00 goal in less than 7 hours. With the right kind of script, that dollar figure can be reached easily. Don't forget, these are TAX FREE dollars.

You can raise or lower your possible take with the simple use of costume. Throughout history street beggars with physical maladies have been the big money makers. But in today’s modern world of medicine and social assistance, the physical oddity doesn't carry the same weight that it used to. The armless, legless, blind beggar doesn't quite make it today. People expect that those individuals already have help from the multitudes of assistance agencies. But if you are are willing to go a bit further, A second hand wheelchair could help.

The body oddity. It is still seen in the Asian countries. The deformed limbs, disfigured faces, spastic tics, etc. The usual style used in the US is someone in a wheelchair. For some reason American's sympathize with missing legs, but missing arms or disfigured faces aren’t marketable.

There was a time during the 80's and 90's when claiming an AIDS infection benefitted the sidewalk entrepreneur. That's not the case so much anymore. The AIDS victims have joined the Leprosy crowd. The usual public expects that there is a support network already in place. Facial deformities, as mentioned are an iffy ploy. And if obviously theatrical makeup, A definite deal breaker.

A couple of years ago, I watched a new expose of panhandling. One of the ladies profiled was a young lady in Grand Central Station in New York City. She was seated with her back to a column and displayed a sign declaring that her mother was a MS sufferer. When she was interviewed, she admitted that her mother was fine. And that when she tried to use AIDS and other illnesses as her reason to beg, she was disappointed at how much money she was given. BUT that the MS and mother story had been a money maker. The problem was that She appeared TOO healthy. Her AIDS claim didn't carry any weight.

We have all seen the folks standing at the side of the road. Usually with a sign describing some catastrophe that your spare change will resolve. Tell the truth now folks, how often do you even read the sign? This is a case of advertising overload. Standing on the highway off / on ramp is a low return location. There are better locations, BUT the successful panhandler will know the local rules and regulations. Standing next to the cash register inside the 7/11 is a sure-fire ticket, for a criminal trespass warning, or jail, depending on the local laws. Most cities have ordinances prohibiting "Aggressive Panhandling". Following your mark down the sidewalk screaming and threatening is aggressive. Blocking the sidewalk and looking mean is aggressive. Sitting quietly and out of the pathway isn't aggressive. However, some places don't even allow for this style. Highways are also a no-no. You have to know where the border is. One side is a city or county problem. The other side is the Highway Patrol / State Police. The most humorless bunch I've ever met.

While we're on the subject of Cops, they are NOT your enemy, Or your friend. For the most part they are just hard-working folks that put up with way too much crap in their lives. If the cops are called, usually they will just ask you to move along. Best advice, do it. It might be the best spot you've had in your lifetime. But spending a week in jail or worse the ICU isn't worth it. You can always move down to your #2 spot. Then come back tomorrow or next week. NEVER, EVER, FOR ANY REASON argue with a cop. You WILL lose, Every time.

But if you do run into a ticket happy hero, Smile and say "Yes Sir / No Sir". He might write a panhandling citation, or a criminal trespass warning. Again, SMILE and sign the paper. Then move down the road. It isn't worth a night in lockup, or ICU. Also, unless you really don't have ID or there is a warrant out for you, SHOW YOUR ID. Don't lie about who you are, this is another charge of hindering law enforcement. If you have a warrant, don’t act the fool and start running or fighting. You will lose, EVERY time. If they arrest you, stop talking except for the phrase "I WANT A LAWYER." They have to give you a free one. He or she may not be the best, but like the old saying goes, ready for it? "Beggars can't be Choosers".

Now how do you get the average citizen to part with their hard-earned cash. Don't worry, there is always somebody with a tender heart that always has Christian charity in their soul. But you need to think about maximizing your returns. Consider this, what you are doing is performance art. That’s right, you are an artist. You provide the average joe an opportunity to feel good about him or herself.

Props are a good thing, if chosen carefully. A woman cuddling a baby sized bundle of blankets immediately tugs on the heartstrings. Toss in a snowstorm and your mark will be telling everybody they know about helping the "Mother Madonna in a blizzard". It doesn't matter that there was nothing in the bundle. A mangy mutt sitting with a hangdog look, next to the homeless vet will get you at least a 10% increase return on your average.

I once watched an operator working a metropolitan corner. He started out with the standard spare change sign. The next week the sign had added the hungry / homeless / veteran line. The third week He had a dog with him. I watched this, at the time, novel approach. The guy HAD to have reached his $100.00 goal in the first 10 minutes.

Here’s a hint folks, you can tug at the heart strings, but only if they are original strings. If everybody brings Fido, It's just another Fido beggar. There is also a down side on this. If an animal lover thinks you are abusing your pet, they could call the authorities. Either the Cops, or the animal control folks. Or worse yet the ASPCA. And those folks have a public permission to lynch animal abusers.

The week after that the guy had brought the dog. He added his wife, the baby, And worst of all his teenage son. Now I think we can all see what he was going for. If the dog was a winning lottery ticket, the family should secure his retirement in Malibu. WRONG, As I drove by, the son was be-bopping along on his brand new I-Pod. That alone shut that guy down. not only for that day, but also for that location. Because he had spent so much time on that corner and was recognized, permanently. I never saw him again.

This guy made 2 mistakes. #1 he spent too much time at one location. He became recognizable. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. But in the long term it's best to move on after a couple of days. You can always come back next month. He second mistake is obvious. Nobody is going to give squat to somebody rich enough to afford high tech toys for his kid. The lesson here is you HAVE to in trouble. A kid with the latest toy isn't in trouble.

The playing of a musical instrument is called "Busking" and is considered the royalty of panhandling. A service provided for cash rendered. Even a bad musician can collect from the public. However, there is a downside. Because it works, it tends to be overdone. Off key trumpet players next to imitation statues next to street magicians. If you plan on this as your career, choose your location carefully. The Venice beach boardwalk and Times Square are famous for these "Street Performers"

There are also the folks that produce artwork of various types. Usually chalk sidewalk art, or spray-painted portraits. Everybody has seen the sidewalk artist, drawing caricatures of passerby’s. You had better be good at it though. Mediocre art doesn’t cut the mustard. Leave the spiro-gyro at home.

Up to this point I have discussed what most people consider panhandling. But the story doesn't end there. Begging is also big business. And I do mean BIG. Government subsidized, tax funded, BIG. Consider for a moment NPR. National Public Radio is a private, publicly funded business. Bet you didn't know that? It is NOT a government organization. How about PBS? You know "Sesame Street"? Same deal. It is NOT a government organization. But they get a butt load of federal, state and local funding.

The thing about charitable organizations is that there are very few laws and regulations on how they operate. Anybody can start a charitable organization, for any reason. The trick is taxes. Unless the government declares you a "Non-Profit" organization, you need to pay taxes. What this means is that YOU, as a private citizen, can ask for money. For a cause. And there are no rules about how you do it, other than making sure that Uncle Sam gets his share. At the same time, there are no rules on how much the administrators of that charity are paid. Once again, as long as the taxes are paid and uncle Sam gets his cut.

There is nothing to stop YOU from going to your local convenience store and, with permission, putting your mason jar piggy bank on the counter asking to save the albino pigmy vole. And if your little venture tugs at the right heart strings and makes enough money, you too can be the Next winner.

In conclusion, I know some are asking WHY did you waste all this time? Couldn't you have spent it more productively pointing out the benefits of hard work, self-sacrifice, public service, etc. etc.etc. My response is ...

Where is John Galt? And Why haven't you joined him?

[sparklite2]

In San Jose, CA, I was filling up my car at the gas station when a guy with a harmonica came up and asked for money. I told him to play me a tune. He did, and was actually pretty good at it. I gave him some money, we chatted for a while, and parted company as friends.