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Candidate Says "Sexploits" Make Him Ideal Person to Govern [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 May 2017 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/23/2017 12:52:20 PM PDT by John Semmens

Noah Dyer, a Democratic candidate for governor in Arizona, boasts that "my extensive sexual experiences equip me to understand the issues most important to the citizens of this state. For adults, and some children, sex is the most rewarding activity they will ever know. Few others understand this as well as I do. That will be the key to my ascension to the throne of governor."

Dyer laid out his qualifications arguing that "my frequent casual sex, sex with married women, sex with multiple partners at once, sexting, and video-taping my sexual encounters demonstrate an unprecedented transparency among those of us who will seek votes in the upcoming race. My willingness to share videos of myself having sex with beautiful people will dominate the insipid family photos that my opponents will try to pass off as proof of their fitness."

The candidate said he couldn't "rule out the possibility that the vast number of individuals who have enjoyed my lovemaking might constitute a majority of eligible voters in the state. When you've banged as many people as I have it gives you a great deal of confidence in your own ability to service the rest of the state. Once I am governor I expect many more satisfied partners will ensure that I am not a one-termer."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,263693.0.html


TOPICS: Government; Hobbies; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: democrats; depravity; satire; sex

1 posted on 05/23/2017 12:52:20 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Its a sign that things are in a sorry state of affairs when one reads semi-satire and found one-self thinking it might not be semi-satire.


2 posted on 05/23/2017 12:59:57 PM PDT by baltimorepoet
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To: John Semmens

If that’s the case, “Anthony Weiner for President” /s


3 posted on 05/23/2017 1:01:45 PM PDT by bigbob (People say believe half of what you see son and none of what you hear - M. Gaye)
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To: John Semmens

I went to the guy’s website. This really isn’t satire. What a maroon.


4 posted on 05/23/2017 1:05:01 PM PDT by colorado tanker
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To: John Semmens

Did e graduate from the Bill Clinton School of Political Ethics?


5 posted on 05/23/2017 1:40:44 PM PDT by antidemoncrat
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