Posted on 08/02/2016 10:56:43 AM PDT by Scythian_Reborn
I've been married 25 years, I'm not going to go into the reasons but I just need to file for divorce, we have three kids, youngest is in high school. Love them more than I can say, to live in a different house than them is the most terrible thing I can imagine.
Already my heart is breaking just thinking about it but there's no saving this marriage. Have any of you been through such a thing? How did you cope with the loneliness. I am not a drinker and don't have a lot of friends.
Do any of you regret it terribly, I need to know ...
Be prepared for legal fees too! No one wins.
You stay with the kids and she can leave.
Watch Divorce Corp documentary. It is on Netflix. Just watch.
I’m going through it right now and have some observations for you. PM me your email and I’ll go into it further.
You are not asking the right person. Get on you knees and pray for guidance from the Holy Spirit. Get your Bible out and read it. It will open to the appropriate place. When you get the guidance, follow it.
Is there any chance, however remote, for reconciliation?
From experience, I can tell you that divorce is devastating to all involved. And it will cost you a fortune.
PRAYERS. GOD KNOWS.
Feel for ya dude,respond to private messages thing get as much info as you can.
1st one to hire an attny wins...dont screw around go for the throat
Need to know more.
Why guy summed it up,ya got no constructive input privately then butt out?
Before you jump in with both feet, do a financial assessment of your assets with regards to your age and health.
If you are 50’ish, and have some reserves, you should be able to recover from the damage without endangering your financial future.
Every situation is different and much depends on which State you live in.
It cost me a bunch but after 2 years, I already regret not doing it sooner.
get a hobby
But seriously folks... if it is a mutual divorce decision and you are in agreement, just draw it up and have a single lawyer file the paperwork.
Otherwise, it is not a ‘fair and just’ system- it is two lawyers fighting with each other until all the money is gone, followed by an idiotic decision by an idiot.
Then the lawyers go out to dinner together (with your money)
But really, get a hobby and do something you’ve always wanted to do. The kids will love to see you interested in something other than the proceedings. With luck they’ll like doing it with you.
I find and restore old boats and go boating/fishing. its a ton of fun- and people are giving them away free (look online)
Do not move out of the house until a court tells you to do so.
Before you start crying in your beer you need to do an accounting of all bank accounts, retirement accounts, personal property, real estate, etc. that you have accumulated during the marriage. That is number one. Make a list and present it to your lawyer.
Second, you are probably thinking that this is going to be an amicable split. WRONG. You need to prepare yourself for a bare knuckles brawl. Women will fight over an ashtray. Trust me.
Third, DO NOT leave your house until the divorce is finalized. Once again, DO NOT leave your house until the divorce is finalized.
Trust me, you’ll have plenty of time to cry in your beer later. But you need to put your business hat on, pronto!
My sister went through this - I live nearby and got all details. Her husband was unfaithful, decided he would rather not break things off with the other woman when he was discovered.
Son had entered college, younger daughter was in jr. high. Daughter took it harder. She was very much on Mom’s side and angry with her father for what happened. 10 years later, it seems she’s forgiven her Father, but has not forgotten.
Your children are older, which is good. They can process things independently. From my sister’s case, my only bit of advice is - kids want stability. As much as you are tempted, do not badmouth your spouse or rant in front of them. Remain calm. Let kids know that regardless of what happens, they are the priority. Draw them closer - talk to them more, arrange more opportunities to be together. Also, our sappy, emotive modern culture wants to make kids “victims.” Its hard, but don’t be tempted to treat them differently or change your rules, or expectations.
Scorched earth. It’s the only way to be sure.
Good advice....Few beers wont hurt(sarc)
Married about 19 years, divorced since 1991. Took all 4 of my kids, so I don’t have your loneliness. Never remarried.
If I’d shot mine when I 1st wanted to, I’d have been out long before now.
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