MOTUS’ Handy Hawkeye Cauci Guide: I’d Caucus For That Guy Even If...

Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 2-1-2016 | MOTUS

[NOBO2012]

Today’s the day we’ve all been waiting for: the Hawkeye Cauci! So grab your pork tenderloin sandwich

and a couple of MAID-RITEs

and caucus like your life depends on it. Because it does.

So here are your cauci guidelines. “I would vote for the following candidates under the following circumstances…”

• Even if he shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die:

• Even if he shot a man in Reno in self-defense:

• Even if he shot a man in Reno, accidentally while cleaning his gun:

• Even if he shot a man in Reno, while demonstrating how dangerous firearms can be:

• If I was a Democrat caucusing as a RINO4Hillary:

And on the Democrat side, in case you want to mess with them, vote accordingly:

• Even if she left some guy to die in Benghazi just to fuel a lie.

Seriously, what difference at this point does it make?

• Even if he reminds you of your old hippie pinko grandpa. (trigger warning: microaggression ahead)

“Dude, don’t take the brown acid!”

[Flick Lives]

I vote pork tenderloin ticket all the way!

[T-Bird45]

It’s been a while since I had either sandwich so I’m easily persuaded with such incentives. Bet I wouldn’t leave the caucus hungry...

One of the funnier MOTUS columns in recent memory, though.

[Tennessee Nana]

OOO I wanna go to the Hawkeye Corkeye and eat !!!