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Gov't Hails Gains in Able-Bodied Adults on Food Stamps [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 Jan 2016 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/16/2016 1:23:34 PM PST by John Semmens

Since President Obama took office the number of able-bodied-without-dependents who are receiving government food subsidies has soared by 370%. This increase in participation by persons who in another era would have been expected to fend for themselves was hailed as "great progress on the President's goal of transforming America," by Secretary of Health and Human Services Sylvia Burwell. "Relieved of the burden of feeding themselves, these individuals are free to pursue goals higher on Maslow's hierarchy of needs."

One of the favorite "higher goals" of this segment of the population is smoking. Fully 50% of the subsidized beneficiaries are smokers and spend about $111 per month on the habit.

Unfazed by the food subsidy's enabling recipients to indulge in unhealthy behavior, Burwell boasted that "we also have a vigorous anti-smoking educational campaign to try to offset this unfortunate byproduct of what everyone recognizes as an essential humanitarian undertaking. And if our education efforts fail, fiscal hawks ought to appreciate the budgetary advantages of earlier mortality among those who do smoke."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2016/01/16/ny-dems-demand-conservatives-leave-state/


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: democrats; foodstamps; satire; welfare

1 posted on 01/16/2016 1:23:34 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Its not satire, its reality


2 posted on 01/16/2016 1:26:00 PM PST by PGR88
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To: John Semmens

Reminds me of the line in The Sopranos when Meadow extols the wonderfulness of being a Columbia student working for free in some kind of free legal clinic that she had helped four crack mothers regain their crack babies from foster care.


3 posted on 01/16/2016 1:27:46 PM PST by catnipman (Cat Nipman: Vote Republican in 2012 and only be called racist one more time!)
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To: PGR88

is that percentage number really true?

that’s not even communism. communists barely gave food to workers

in fact, i dont recall in HISTORY giving food and money to the masses for doing nothing!!

not in 5000 years of history.

liberal and communist are not one and the same.

in some ways, liberals are worse.

at least under communism, the pain is spread evenly, with liberals, it put on the back of workers.


4 posted on 01/16/2016 1:38:28 PM PST by dp0622 (i .)
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To: dp0622
in fact, i dont recall in HISTORY giving food and money to the masses for doing nothing!!

I believe it was common in 2nd-3rd Century Rome.

5 posted on 01/16/2016 1:39:48 PM PST by PGR88
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To: PGR88

i was thinking MAYBE Rome.

at the end. which scares me.

i wonder why they did it. to prevent an uprising/


6 posted on 01/16/2016 1:46:52 PM PST by dp0622 (i .)
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To: dp0622

% is true

Romans gave bread & circuses to unemployed masses in the city.


7 posted on 01/16/2016 3:04:40 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

we dont even get the circuses lol!

unless you include congress and the pres.


8 posted on 01/17/2016 12:11:15 AM PST by dp0622 (i .)
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To: dp0622

I think taxpayer subsidized sports stadiums are our “circuses.”


9 posted on 01/17/2016 9:22:44 AM PST by John Semmens
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