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Trump's debate talking points - he accuses Mexico of exporting killer cilantro to US (Satire)
one man's opinion...

Posted on 08/05/2015 7:19:02 AM PDT by ken5050

FR has obtained secret copies of Trump's talking points for Thursday's GOP debate on FOX. Recognizing that his meteoric rise in the polls is due in large part to his willingness to make wide, sweeping charges, Trump will go even further Thursday night and broaden his attack on Mexico.....


TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS:
Trump exploded on the US political scene when, while talking about the problems and dangers of illegal immigration, he accused Mexico of "not sending us their best people." He went on to say that those coming here are "..bringing crime, bringing drugs. They are rapists.."

Many cheered his comments. Many castigated Trump for them. But he's not backing down.

Believing that his comments resonate with a majority of GOP voters, if not all Americans, Trump will, on Thursday, accuse Mexico of undertaking a vast, and coordinated campaign to harm the health of most Americans.

Trump will say that, aside from drugs and human trafficking, Mexico has deliberately targeted Americans by:

1. Exporting vast quantities of contaminated cilantro to the US. There have been almost 400 cases of cyclosporiasis in the US, attributed to cilantro from the Mexican state of Puebla. He will say that "Everyone knows that Americans are addicted to guacamole. We can't get enough of it. And you can't have good guac without cilantro. So tens of thousands of Mexicans are busy every day, happily shitting and pissing in their cilantro fields, and then smuggling the crop across the border, enabling Americans to feed their addiction to guacamole."

2. In a further effort to appear serious and statesmanlike, Trump will focus on the difficult problem of cross-addiction. "Look, I employ thousands of people, so I know a lot about these difficult problems. And my advisers..and I hire the BEST ones..tell me that many addicts suffer multiple addictions, and we must address this question if we are to find a solution. Practically all people addicted to guacamole are also addicted to beer. I mean, what goes better with guac than cerveza? So, what does Mexico do? They send us each year, millions of cases of Corona, which everyone knows tastes like cow piss. Look, I've hired the top laboratories, the top scientists, to analyze Corona, and all the results say every bottle contains about 5-10% cow urine. Look, have you ever had a steak in Mexico? You can't get a good one..it's impossible. Mexican cows are good for only two things..lousy meat for fajitas, and cow piss for Corona."

"When I'm elected President, I will immediately build a wall across our entire southern border. We can stop illegals from entering the country, and also keep contaminated cilantro and lousy beer out of the country."

1 posted on 08/05/2015 7:19:02 AM PDT by ken5050
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To: Jamestown1630; Hardens Hollow

FYI...sort of food related (g)


2 posted on 08/05/2015 7:19:57 AM PDT by ken5050 (If the GOP canÂ’t muster the moral courage to defund Planned Parenthood, they don't deserve the WH)
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To: ken5050

Refried beans are Mexican Poison! :0)


3 posted on 08/05/2015 7:21:45 AM PDT by Gaffer
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To: ken5050

Cilantro, and other imported food contaminated with fecal matter, is a legitimate threat to the health and safety of Americans.

Because in America we do not promote pooping in the fields. In Mexico, they do.

Just one more example of a defective and inferior culture coming in contact with mine, and polluting it. In this case, literally.


4 posted on 08/05/2015 7:22:41 AM PDT by T-Bone Texan ('Zionists crept into my home and stole my shoe' - Headline)
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To: ken5050
Mexican cows are good for only two things..

heh heh heh heh heh heh

5 posted on 08/05/2015 7:22:53 AM PDT by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true.)
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To: ken5050

IBTZ


6 posted on 08/05/2015 7:23:02 AM PDT by Eddie01
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To: ken5050

My sister told me about the cilantro recall the other day. Its true. Its so gross. The farms were not providing the proper toilet facilities for the farm workers picking the crop so they were just pooping in the fields and leaving that and the toilet paper laying around.


7 posted on 08/05/2015 7:23:05 AM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose o f a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped.)
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To: ken5050
Fox has secret plan to deal with Trump
8 posted on 08/05/2015 7:23:23 AM PDT by Karl Spooner
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To: Georgia Girl 2

http://www.ontheissues.org/Celeb/Donald_Trump_Immigration.htm


9 posted on 08/05/2015 7:29:31 AM PDT by crz
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To: ken5050

http://www.breitbart.com/national-security/2015/08/04/nearly-400-sick-from-mexican-cilantro-contaminated-by-human-feces/


10 posted on 08/05/2015 7:33:20 AM PDT by Black Agnes
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To: ken5050
2011 GAO Report: The number of criminal aliens in federal prisons in fiscal year 2010 was about 55,000, and the number of SCAAP criminal alien incarcerations in state prison systems and local jails was about 296,000 in fiscal year 2009 (the most recent data available), and the majority were from Mexico.
11 posted on 08/05/2015 7:34:58 AM PDT by kabar
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To: ken5050

The cilantro in question perfectly fits the real definition of organically grown vegetables; that being crops crapped on by Mexicans. All natural fertilizer, right?


12 posted on 08/05/2015 7:39:45 AM PDT by RJS1950 (The democrats are the "enemies foreign and domestic" cited in the federal oath)
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To: T-Bone Texan

There was an old CSI Miami episode that, in part, was about field contamination of leafy greens served in restaurants. It was quite scary, but the fields were in Florida in that case.


13 posted on 08/05/2015 7:46:07 AM PDT by Truth29
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To: T-Bone Texan

What is different between Mexicans pooping on cilantro and the other group spitting on your salad before serving it?


14 posted on 08/05/2015 7:58:43 AM PDT by Rapscallion (America's government deliberately misleads the people.)
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To: ken5050

oh boy, food and politics mingled!

I hope he does bring it up, along with all the rapes and murders and thefts and the costs of teaching them English in our schools and putting them in prisons.


15 posted on 08/05/2015 8:52:41 AM PDT by Hardens Hollow (Couldn't find Galt's Gulch, so created our own Harden's Hollow to quit paying the fascist beast.)
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To: RJS1950

“...natural fertilizer...”

Our garden is fertilized with hay and oats, used once. :)


16 posted on 08/05/2015 8:53:32 AM PDT by GGpaX4DumpedTea (I am a Tea Party descendant...steeped in the Constitutional Republic given to us by the Founders)
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To: ken5050

I saw the story the other day. There have been similar stories relating to spring onions, and it does worry me sometimes.

Does anyone have an Aerogarden? It would be nice for a few things like this that one uses often but would prefer to grow year-round. I’m just wondering how well they work.

-JT


17 posted on 08/05/2015 11:10:39 AM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, If you can keep it.")
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To: Hardens Hollow

Someday the term “you’ve been Donald” will mean you’ve been told the truth.

Me thinks I may have started a saying...... a coming trend no doubt,


18 posted on 08/05/2015 12:06:40 PM PDT by cooper10
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To: cooper10

For your consideration.

“You’ve been Trumped” meaning you’ve been told the bold, bald truth.

“That fella (or gal) is the Real Donald” meaning they are a teller of bold, bald truths.


19 posted on 08/05/2015 12:19:57 PM PDT by oldvirginian (TED CRUZ, because the Constitution matters.)
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