Posted on 06/26/2015 10:23:09 PM PDT by John Semmens
Acknowledging that the original Affordable Care Act "was so poorly written as to be utterly infeasible in its implementation," Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts took "the liberty of rewriting it to correct its deficiencies."
"If we were to confine ourselves to the plain language of the statute, subsidies would be available to only those states that established their own health care exchanges," Roberts wrote. "In hindsight, relying upon the statutory text would doom the plan because only a minority of states established the required exchanges. Rather than allow Congress' inability to accurately forecast state behavior to undermine this signature accomplishment of President Obama's transformative agenda for America I am, herewith, reinterpreting the statutory language."
Roberts brushed aside substantial evidence that the language restricting subsidies to states setting up their own exchanges was intentional, saying that "obviously, this traditional reliance on the 'carrot' of federal money failed to elicit the expected response. Since 'plan A' didn't work we need to institute a 'plan B.' This Court's reinterpretation takes its place along side of the dozens of reinterpretations that the Obama Administration has previously made to correct flaws in the original law."
Neither did the apparent discrepancy between his majority opinion in favor of upholding Obamacare and his dissent against the Court's decision declaring a nationwide right to same-sex marriage cause the Justice any difficulty. "There was no federal statute needing repair in the same-sex marriage case," Roberts pointed out. "There are 50 different state laws. The Court has no Constitutional authority to rewrite 50 state laws. Its powers are limited to rewriting the laws crafted by Congress at the national level."
President Obama praised the Court's decision "for putting the good of the people ahead of a rigid reliance upon the so-called 'separation of powers' that right-wing enemies of social justice would use to hamstring progress. So Congress made a few mistakes in how it wrote the law. Why should we let that prevent us from making improvements? Isn't everyone working together for the common good better than each branch of government jealously guarding the 'turf' laid out for it in the Constitution?"
Following the announcement of the decision, stock prices for the nation's largest health insurance corporations saw a $3 billion boost in a single day. "This decision ensures that the flow of federal subsidies to these firms will be uninterrupted," Press Secretary Josh Earnest boasted. "Republicans masquerade as the Party of big business, but it is Democrat-backed legislation that delivers the cash that feeds their bottom line."
In related health news, the Obama Administration is pressuring doctors to discuss global warming with their patients. U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy reminded that "President Obama has declared global warming to be the greatest danger to health that humanity faces. Doctors are not merely private citizens. They are licensed by government. They have an obligation to convey the government's views to their patients. Failure to do so should have consequences."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=173382.new#new
ping
Why is this called satire ?
Who knows, as usual, how close to the truth it really is?
Your doctor has 3 minutes to see you, there is no time to ask about guns, climate change & manspreading and still recieve ANY healthcare.
Finding the line between truth and satire is like finding the horizon in a whiteout. Good one, John. Pity they give you so much material.
My doctor won’t ask me about global warming. Last year, he brought up guns, and I told him I had an arsenal and would wipe out his whole office.
Fortunately, for me he knows I’m kidding, but he hasn’t asked me since.
Anyway, thank you for the ping. :)
Good one, John!
Actually, I thought of the buffet of topics available from this week and wondered if it might cause your head to spin a little bit.
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