Yeah, look at all those "Globalist" soccer fans waving UN Flags.
Posted on 07/02/2014 9:55:48 AM PDT by PoloSec
I’m a sports fanatic. I love almost every sport.
I’ve tried to get interested in soccer. I just can’t.
Soccer is about as exciting as watching paint dry.
There’s almost no scoring in soccer. Too many games end 0-0 and 1-0.
Hours can go buy with barely a shot on goal – when no one even comes close to scoring.
I think there’s too much scoring in NBA basketball. But I’d rather have too much scoring than no scoring.
If this sport is ever to catch on in America, soccer needs to make adjustments to make the game more exciting to watch.
Adjustment #1: Dramatically shrink the size of the field.
Make the field about half the size it is now.
This will help increase the action in front of the goal.
Adjustment #2: Increase the size of the goal.
An increase in the width of six inches or so would probably be enough.
Adjustment #3: Put sideboards up around the field so the ball doesn’t go out of bounds so much.
Indoor soccer has this feature. Indoor soccer is much more fun to watch than outdoor soccer.
Passes that carom off the walls make the passing more complicated and interesting, like hockey.
Adjustment #4: Allow hitting in soccer, like in ice hockey and lacrosse.
Soccer need not make all these changes at once.
Try one or two changes at a time and see what happens.
People want to see goals. And people like to see hitting.
The National Football League is constantly tweaking the rules to make the game more exciting.
If the NFL never changed the rules, there would be no scoring because defense always catches up to the offense. Almost all the rule changes favor the offense.
Even the football itself has changed shape over the years to enhance the passing game.
Baseball created more home runs by bringing in the fences. Basketball created more scoring by adding a shot clock. Boxing created more action by making the ring smaller.
But boxing is being overtaken in popularity by martial arts caging fight because there’s a lot more action, a lot more actual fighting.
All other sports that I can think of constantly review and change the rules – to make their sports more exciting to watch.
Why can’t soccer make adjustments?
There is no sport that I can think of that is more boring than soccer.
Even golf is more exciting.
There are tense moments in golf, such as when Phil Mickelson is trying to sink a five-foot putt to win the Masters.
Baseball is slow. But it gets tense when the bases are loaded in a close playoff game if your team is involved. The tension in golf and baseball is created by the situation.
But there are few situations in soccer that create any tension because so much of the action takes place so far from the goal.
Is there strategy in soccer? I assume there is, but I can’t discern it.
It’s obvious there’s strategy in baseball and football. The fans can see it. The fans can question the strategy.
The fans can boo if the football coach decides not to go for it on fourth down.
Should they pass or should they run?
The fans can question whether it’s the right move for the baseball manager to take the pitcher out of the game.
Should the hitter bunt and try to move the runner over, or should he swing away?
Strategy is a big part of the appeal of football and baseball.
There’s a chess-match aspect to these sports.
There’s a lot of thinking involved. Should we do this? Or should we do that?
I’d Watch Soccer If It Were More Like Ice Hockey
I’m not sure there’s a lot of strategy in hockey either.
But hockey is exciting. Hockey is basically the same game as soccer. But it’s fast. It’s on skates. The rink is small compared to a soccer field.
Hockey is mayhem.
There are lots of shots on goal in hockey, lots of action in front of the net. There are fights. Many hockey players have missing teeth. They look cool. They look rugged. They are rugged. The puck is hard as a rock. It caroms off the boards. There is checking in hockey, where the player gets to slam the other player into the boards. You hear a loud thud when that happens.
Hockey is more like a gang fight on skates. The players are carrying a weapon – their hockey stick. Their skates are razor sharp.
Hockey is a truly dangerous game.
Hockey is much more of a man’s sport than soccer. In soccer, the players fall on the ground if they are barely touched. They then writhe around on the field screaming in hopes of drawing a penalty.
When the penalty comes or doesn’t come, that same player who was writhing around on the field crying suddenly jumps to his feet and resumes playing, perfectly healthy.
Hockey players don’t act like this. They would be laughed off their teams as sissies if they did.
In soccer, the clock keeps running during the alleged injury.
So if a team that’s winning by one goal just wants to run out the clock, that team can just fake all kinds of injuries — which often happens.
That sure makes for an exciting game.
And what’s up with the obsession with the hair of certain World Cup soccer stars?
The star player from Portugal (I forget his name) has a completely different hairdo and hair color every game. How much time is this guy spending in the hair salon?
Shouldn’t he be spending that time watching film or practicing?
Something else I’ve noticed.
Recent immigrants to America learn to love NFL football.
There’s a Mexican restaurant that I go to a lot in Chicago that doubles as a sports bar.
Mexico is known for soccer. It’s their national sport.
But at this Chicago Mexican sports bar I go to, the preferred sport there is NFL football.
Mexicans who move to America quickly become NFL football fanatics. So do Asians and Africans who move here.
These recent Mexican immigrants admit to me that American football is a whole lot more fun to watch than soccer.
They also love boxing and caging fighting.
Something else that bugs me about soccer is that it’s a sport that I feel is being forced on me by liberals who hate American football, who hate violent, dangerous sports.
Liberals are doing everything they can to feminize the NFL. There’s Breast Cancer Awareness month when all the NFL players are expected to wear pink. Kick-off returns are being phased out because they are so dangerous. Defensive players can no longer hit the quarterback, for some reason.
Former NFL great Terry Bradshaw suggests putting a skirt on the quarterback so the defensive player understands more clearly who he can’t hit.
During Super Bowl Week, there’s always the obligatory article in The New York Times on how violence against women (husbands beating their wives) rises during Super Bowl week.
Turns out this is a myth – a complete canard.
Violence against women actually seems to decline during Super Bowl week – probably because husbands are wrapped up in the game. The wife beating seems to resume after the Super Bowl is over.
There’s now the obsession with concussions in the NFL – as if concussions never occurred before now.
So now the NFL has banned leading with your head.
If we want to reduce concussions, maybe football should be played without a helmet, like in the old days. That would discourage players from engaging in head-on collisions with each other.
Some liberal writers have proposed banning football, banning boxing, banning caging fighting, banning car racing, banning all these dangerous sports.
But liberals love soccer.
Soccer’s not the least bit dangerous. About the worst injury you see in soccer is a pulled hamstring.
Well there is that guy in the World Cup from Uruguay who keeps biting the opposing players.
What’s up with that guy? And why doesn’t someone break his nose?
Do you remember when liberals tried to force the metric system on Americans?
I feel they are trying to do this to us with soccer.
Liberals told us we needed to adopt the metric system because that’s what the rest of the world uses.
They told us the metric system makes more sense and is easier to understand.
Not sure that’s true.
A foot is about the length of my foot.
Seems pretty straight forward and simple to me.
I have no idea what 2.34 centimeters is.
Is that like a centipede?
I think America’s measuring system is a lot easier.
But liberals continue to try to push the metric system on us, just like they are desperate to get America to love soccer – so we can be just like the rest of the world.
I don’t want to be like the rest of the world.
Frankly, I was also turned off by the big celebration in the media over USA’s soccer victory over Ghana.
Where the heck is Ghana?
I had to look it up on a map. What’s their population? Do they even have enough people in Ghana to field a soccer team?
Apparently they do.
If America is this excited about its World Cup victory over a dinky little country like Ghana, that’s pathetic.
We’re a nation of 320,000,000 people.
Yet we barely beat Ghana — 2-1.
If Wisconsin played Ghana, that would seem to be a more fair contest.
Then we went on to tie Portugal — another dinky country. This was also hailed by the media as great news for the USA.
If this is great news, America really is in decline.
Then Germany defeats USA, you guessed it . . . 1-0.
Zzzzzzzzzzz.
Here’s something else that’s off-putting.
USA keeps advancing in this World Cup tournament without winning.
We beat Ghana, and that’s it. We then tied Portugal and lost to Germany.
Yet we continue to advance in the tourney.
Why aren’t we eliminated?
Maybe that’s another reason liberals love soccer so much.
Nothing is at stake in these games. Your actual performance in the game makes little difference.
Everyone’s a winner. It’s almost impossible to lose at this game.
So no one feels bad.
UPDATE: Belgium defeats Team USA 2-1 to eliminate the US from World Cup competition.
You know it’s a boring sport when you can go have dinner, wash the dishes, go brush the pool and dump some chlorine in it, feed the cats, and come back and feel as if you had put the TV on pause, and the game just automatically continued from where you had left it.
It’s part of the program of “internationalizing” Americans.
Sports, as well as all types of cultural aspects, like food, music, fashion, art, etc., are always used by the elites in long-term subtle societal manipulation schemes.
Jazz was used to get other countries to like American after WWII. Sports, Hollywood, music, etc., figures are thought of as “ambassadors” of culture.
The only difference is now instead of trying to sneak into the hearts and minds of other nations to get them to like America, they’re trying to sneak into the minds of Americans to get them to think of themselves as “citizens of the world” as opposed to citizens of America.
Give up your “nationalistic” sports, go with the “global” sports, that’s the message.
I have no use for soccar, never have, never will.
Adjustment #5 - Female World Soccer FAFI [Female Against Female Impacts]
“you’ll recognize some of the movements you have seen in the game.”
I hated it in Jr. High PE. Seemed like all you did was run around and then you get the ball and pass it and then you run around some more.
One funny thing: One day I forgot my gym shoes so they made me wear my regular shoes while playing.They were wing tips with the big bumpers for soles. I missed a kick and nailed a guy right in the shin with them. Then, the next year in high school I wolloped the ball with a good kick. An opposing player at that moment fell right in front of me and it nailed him square in the face, about three feet from the kick. It was the same guy.
Sadly, this same guy (who married one of the girls in our school) became a Washington State Patrol motorcycle officer and during a high speed chase around the turn of the century was killed on or near the I-90 floating bridge.
But I think I’m a bit off topic...
Basketball and baseball are “global” sports.
I have not seen the Olympics in decades and Only saw part of a World Cup match a week ago because we were in an irish pub...
Yeah, look at all those "Globalist" soccer fans waving UN Flags.
It’s not part of some great plot. People just want to make money. Nobody spends so much to be a sports fan as an American, so naturally FIFA wants an American audience. No great conspiracy, just responsible business actions on the normal business quest for cash.
I don’t watch soccer because it sucks.
Watching soccer on the mobile device is so much better.
In what foreign countries will the NFL play this upcoming season?
Did an adult write this article? Seriously. Reads like it was written for fifth graders.
sweet post!
sweeter post!
Never thought of that. Good idea.
1. Red cards for diving. And if 3 players on any 1 team get red-carded this way in 1 game, that team forfeits the match. Problem solved.
2. Fewer players? Or restrict their placement, like in the NBA, so you can’t have 20 guys blocking every shot on goal. That should help scoring.
3. Ref’s watch is remote-synched to a giant stadium clock; when he pauses, so does the clock. No more guessing about how much time is left.
4. Need some kind of “TV timeout” for people to use the bathroom, etc. 90 minutes straight is brutal for fans watching.
And let the players use their hands!
Stole it from the other guy in the cc list here
In the NFL, the ball & players go out of bounds way too much, and cause unnecessary delays of the game. I think that going out of bounds is a coward’s way to avoid getting hit (especially by the Quarterbacks), and rewards a team with an easy time-out. Maybe they should erect large walls on the sidelines outdoors, like they have in Arena football ;?
And speaking of “foot”, there’s too much of that in the American game as it is … Besides, kicking something is an unmanly activity (unless you’re talking about Extreme Fighting or Martial arts) – the fact that we still have it is an anachronism from the game’s foreign roots in Europe that’s needs to be eliminated. No one’s going to miss these wussy kickers taking up a roster spot, or those big “forks” on the field that just get in the way of the action. H*ll, the NFL is trying to get rid of kickoffs now anyway.
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