Fashionating! MO Opens Met’s Costume Wing

Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 5-6-2014 | MOTUS

[NOBO2012]

Unless you live in a cave, or flyover country, you know about Lady M’s grand opening of the Costume Institute's new Anna Wintour wing at Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Finally, a little well deserved recognition for the art and science of costumes.

This  event will no doubt be commemorated for generations to come; Lady M and Anna managed to forever transform “stinko de mayo” from a Mexican holiday commemorating the Mexican army’s implausible victory over the Frogs in the “Battle of Puebla” in 1862 to a holiday celebrating the nuclear Wintour instead. I hope that’s not racist.

Before I begin my official coverage of the event I need to show you something. It’s very – and I mean very – scary. Butt I figured if I showed you this first, nothing that follows on will seem so bad. Okay, are you ready? It’s Donatella, poor little dear, as she appeared at the Costume Institute ribbon cutting. She may have misread the invitation and, thinking it a costume party, come as an alien burn victim.

If this doesn’t serve as a cautionary tale for anyone considering undertaking 25 years of constant reconstructive facial surgeries I don’t know what would. 

Okay, enough of the Debbie Downer – this was a celebration! Imagine, a whole wing of the Metropolitan Museum of Art named after a vacuous bitch who’s major claim to fame is being a fashion icon. I KNOW! It does sound like Lady M, butt I’m talking about Lady Anna of course. Because as it turns out not only is Anna a fashion icon, she’s a virtual money spigot. She raised over $125 million for the Met’s Costume Institute (and equally ginormous amounts for Big Guy’s campaigns), which is apparently the going rate for a wing of your own.

Lady M looked splendid, of course:

Somewhere Aunt Minnie’s windows are missing their curtains

I know you’re dying to know who she wore:

Michelle wore a gorgeous green floral dress by Naeem Khan. It was made of silk organza and it looked stunning on her. The three-quarter sleeves were perfect for the breezy NYC weather and it’s clear that she loves this designer because this is the 15th time she’s worn this label! 

Ah, silk organza! Does that not just scream “MO”?

There were of course many celebs in attendance. Maybe it’s just me butt  I must say that, as a lot, fashion designers do not age well. Trust me, you don’t want to see closeups:

Dianne von Furstenberg, Tommy Hilfiger, Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, Carolina Herrera

And former “fashion icons” don’t seem to have weathered the recession much better, case in point, style icon Iris Apfel:

Although Iris’ unique sense of style certainly goes a long way towards explaining the country’s infatuation with its newer style icon’s “style”:

It was such a shame that Lady M was asked (politely, of course) not to attend the main event - the “White Ties and Decorations” themed ball dedicated to Charles James, an Anglo-American couturier whose stunning mid-century designs are the subject of this year’s annual exhibition. I know the official story is that it was about security, butt I dug a bit deeper and discovered that Anna was on record saying she “wants more exclusivity and high fashion’ at this year’s Met Ball.” What a bitch. There, I said it.

So I thought -what better way to honor MO, along with BFF Anna, on this occasion than by reprising my award winning documentaries (which got skunked at the Sundance Film Festival), “Lady M: Fashion Icon” and “Boob Belt Fever: The Movie.” I know they’re both over there in my sidebar for “On Demand” viewing, butt they haven’t been “in the theatre” for years now:

“Lady M: Fashion Icon”

“Boob Belt Fever: The Movie”

And since Lady M has rocked many a costume over the course of the Won’s Big White occupation, I thought I’d wrap up with just a few that we’ve enjoyed over the years: if I’ve missed your favorite, feel free to add it.

We begin with the Fairy Tale Collection:

This is the Red Queen from all the “Rabbit Hole” parties we’ve had, and on the right, some weird, twisted Red Queen/Cinderella mashup:

Not to be confused with the actual Cinderella costume:

As an aside, I see Katie Holmes cheesed in on Lady M’s Fairy Tale Collection concept at last night’s Gala:

 

From the Action Figures Collection:

Here we have the Neo-Com Mo, left, and the Post Modern Mary Poppins MO, right.

                 

 

And from the children's favorite, the Clown Collection:

 

no wait, that’s not a costume; here we go:

And finally, from the Indigenous Peoples Collection we have these multi-culti costumes from cultures of color:

                 

                      

I ask you, who has more costume bona fides than Lady M? That’s right, nobody. And still, the snooty patrons of the “Anna Wintour Institute of Costumes” Gala Ball missed out on her appearance last night just because they didn’t want to get patted down in all their finery. So look what they missed: the all new Lady M. Both she and I have been working out relentlessly with Anna’s staff of Photoshop trainers to rid ourselves of those extra ounces of body fat that’s been trapped in the colon wall like spackle or paste. I’d say we succeeded:

So eat your hearts out, New York fashionistas. It’s apparently enough to make even the Ice Princess cry.

Posted from: Michelle Obama’s Mirror 

[Dallas59]

Ewww...

[Dallas59]

Who let the dogs out...

[Gaffer]

Ewwwwwww!

I've never seen such a collection of disfigured, disillusioned females in one place.

From the Donatella Vampira, to those old fashion crones, and the old fart men with their disinterested gold diggers to the First Pinata Model. Even Katie Holmes sporting the abused cult-wife look is disgusting. Just damn.

[Soul of the South]

More evidence there are two Americas. It is too bad the beautiful people aren’t content to leave us alone while they live their decadent and extravagant lives.

[Gaffer]

I will never understand the predilection of once vibrant women having collagen injected into their lips so much that it looks like....well I won’t describe it. It just is so distracting and ewwwwwww!.

I’ve recently watched some weight watcher commercials with Marie Osmond as the spokesperson. She’s had that exact same thing done, and all I can think of is how badly she messed up what would otherwise be a beautiful face.

It is some kind of mental sickness.