Posted on 03/18/2014 12:30:48 PM PDT by John Semmens
With pensions for retired municipal employees exceeding City resources by an estimated $7,000 per household, Mayor Rahm Emanuel has warned residents that he may have to double their property taxes to cover these costs.
The mayor admitted that “doubling the property tax would hit a lot of people hard, but the alternative of cutting back on the benefits we pay to our retirees is unthinkable. Remember, these are people who have dedicated their careers to serving the citizens of this city.”
Emanuel argued that “extracting another few thousand dollars from each home owner seems the more tolerable option. I mean, a tax on property falls on those who are well enough off to be able to afford home ownership. They are people of means who must step up to help the city in its time of need.”
Those familiar with the city’s finances are said to see a doubling of the property tax as “only a temporary fix.” “The city’s fiscal burdens have been allowed to grow uncontrolled for so long that bankruptcy is virtually inevitable no matter what the mayor may do to try to avert it,” said a city inside source who asked that his name be withheld. “The main objective at this point is to protect the mayor’s future political viability for some other office—governor, maybe, or president—by staving off the collapse until he’s moved on to greener pastures. Let the next Mayor bear the burden of foreclosing on property owners who default on tax bills they can’t pay.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2014/03/15/president-admits-obamacare-will-block-access-to-many-doctors/
or cut the pensions
Don’t flee to Texas. Everything here either stings, bites or sticks. You’d hate it.
GO FOR IT!!!
LEt’s see what effect it has
And raise minimum wage there too!!
EVERYONE Gets $20 hr
let’s watch what happens
Amen.
I sting. I bite...and I carry a stick.
That is a great idea. Why don't we let Blue States raise the minimum wage? After that abject failure, maybe we can return to normalcy.
Well Illinois damn near doubled state income tax to pay for Chicago.
That can NEVER happen!
They wrote themselves a check on the taxpayers account!
The taxpayers OWE them.
(I realize this is a satirical story, but my response is not.)
“The main objective at this point is to protect the mayor’s future political viability for some other office—governor, maybe, or president—by staving off the collapse until he’s moved on to greener pastures.”
Classic!
Chicago is the next Detroit. Everyone will start leaving the violence and taxes. It will become mostly black and poor. Won’t get a lot of tax revenue from those.
Born to Run From High Taxes: Study shows wealthy NJ residents fleeing
Detroit here we come.......yipeeeeee
As for all the most fricked up situations in american life..... look for the union label.
Ah yes, the elected crooks get in bed with the crooks,give them whatever they want and when the bills become due they f the tax payers and do it all over again and again and again etc., etc.. etc..
Fun stuff. Chicago..... Heh heh.
They should just raise property taxes to 25% a year. That would solve all of Chicago’s fiscal problems as cash came pouring in by the truckload. Hell, they’d have too much money. They wouldn’t know how to spend it all. And the citizens would benefit from the security of knowing all those retired guvmnt workers were taken care of.
and then 20 years from now when the NEXT groups retire they can quadruple it~!
20 and out~! great gig
They are just EVIL HOME-OWNING RICH PEOPLE!!
Of course they can afford to pay their fair share for Chicago’s Democrat vote-buying.. err I mean ... pensions!!
Sheeesh. FL is going to break off and tip over like Guam from all the influx.
From each according to his ability; to each according to his need.
Yep, and the fire ants actually bite AND sting!
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