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I Read Sarah Palin's New Book About the War on Christmas. Here's What I Learned (Hurl Alert)
The Portland Mercury ^ | December 17, 2010 | Alex Falcone

Posted on 12/17/2013 3:31:20 PM PST by 2ndDivisionVet

Since losing the 2008 presidential election and almost completing a full term as governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin has remained on the edge of the national consciousness. She's like America's racist aunt; not evil, just painfully ignorant and around the holidays she usually opens her mouth and says something embarrassing.

Her newest book Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas is like her others: a delightful read if you're able to disconnect the hate part of your brain and just focus on the imaginary world she creates. It's an amusing, Seussian world, featuring combinations of real and made-up words. "Obamacare death panels." "Lamestream media." And don't forget, "Liberal militant atheist secularists", the word-salad Grinches of her holiday diatribe. Instead of stealing Christmas with a Santa suit, they use what she calls "an extreme legal technicality" and other people might call "constitutional protection against establishment of state religion."

Her inability to use words correctly illustrates perfectly her disconnection from the world. My favorite example is her heartwarming story about Christmas 2012, which fell right after the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary. To celebrate the event (I guess?) she bought Todd Palin a gun for Christmas, which she referred to as an act of "civil disobedience". Not only is that a hilarious re-purposing of a term with a noble history, it's also a perfect misuse of BOTH WORDS. Buying guns is both legal and dangerous, making it an act of uncivil obedience.

But words are as far as she can think. At one point she gets so frustrated trying to put together complete thoughts (or reaching her publisher-required word count) she just starts spewing random words. "I've told you the power of words, so here are some good old fashioned words: Work. Honesty. Courage. Justice. Perseverance." If only somebody had told her the power of sentences!

If sentences are hard for her, logic is completely out of the question. Good Tidings reads like an exam question in Logical Fallacies 101. One third of the book is her vision of Christmas Yet To Come, in which she details all the horrible things that have happened because we lost respect for Jesusy Christmas. "You guys, in this future that I just made up, everything is terrible! So we should change."

Um, argument ad imaginarium? Good work, Alex. 10 points.

Here's how she deals with the fact that Christmas isn't historically Christian: "Does that mean Christians won the war on Saturnalia? You bet! And that shows the power of new traditions to shape culture." This in a book about how the way Christmas is being shaped by modern culture is inherently evil!

Argument self-contradictorium? Correct! 15 points.

And most importantly, she really wants to prove that belief in God makes one good and atheism makes one evil. "It was good Christians who opposed slavery and helped end segregation." And who was opposing them? Did I miss the part where a national coalition of atheists were pushing for slavery?

This one's actually got a real name, affirming a disjunct. 25 points!

Stores need to say Merry Christmas because that's the true meaning of the season but buying things isn't the meaning of Christmas so it doesn't matter what stores say but it's really important to them that you acknowledge their religion because words matter but militant atheists shouldn't get so easily offended by some simple words like "merry Christmas".

I'm just going to call that one argument ad Palinium for 50 points and an A+.

Again, she's not evil, she's just suffering from a major case of the stupids. The fun thing about reading Palin's books is she spent her life in a town of 9,000 and she doesn't read the news. When she feels attacked by The War on Christmas, it's actually the horrible realization that other people exist laying siege to her mental walls.


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: 2008; assclown; christmas; palin; publishing; sarahpalin
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To: beef

She was at #9 for awhile. Do you know how much money an author makes when their book is that high up? I’ll bet Ted Baxter makes at least double his salary in book sales and he’s the highest paid person on cable!


41 posted on 12/17/2013 4:06:56 PM PST by 2ndDivisionVet (A courageous man finds a way, an ordinary man finds an excuse.)
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To: nascarnation

No, he’s a for real “bottom” bangie boi.


42 posted on 12/17/2013 4:08:01 PM PST by ConradofMontferrat ( According to mudslimz, my handle is a HATE CRIME. And I HOPE they don't like it.)
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To: freedumb2003

What? Everyone knows it was the Italy, not Germany that attacked Pearl Harbor. Geeez.


43 posted on 12/17/2013 4:12:58 PM PST by Robert DeLong (u)
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To: oh8eleven

“Jesusy Christmas”

Yes, those pointy headed fags in need of dental work do tend to hate God.


44 posted on 12/17/2013 4:13:47 PM PST by CatherineofAragon ((Support Christian white males----the architects of the jewel known as Western Civilization.))
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To: oh8eleven

First thing I noticed after the hair on this journalist was the wrinkled fake work shirt. Obviously he is a man of the people and champion of the downtrodden.


45 posted on 12/17/2013 4:21:30 PM PST by JimSEA
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To: 2ndDivisionVet
25 Kislev 3756 - Chanukah / Conception of Yeshua

15 Tishri 3757 - Sukkot / Birth of Yeshua

15 Nisan 3790 - (30 C.E.) Pesach / Crucifixion of Yeshua

Christmas is Saturnalia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturnalia

46 posted on 12/17/2013 4:30:42 PM PST by Jeremiah Jr (EL CHaI)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet
Alex criticizes Palin for using incomplete sentences, then does the same thing himself. And in doing so, he conveniently forgets that "incomplete sentences" are a common literary device, often used for emphasis. For example: "He told her that he would never leave her. Ever."

And his point about "civil disobedience" seems to show a lack of understanding of the use of metaphor. In Palin's context, "civil disobedience" clearly meant that the gun purchase was "politically incorrect," not literally illegal. And he confuses the two meanings of "civil," one of which means "social" or "relating to law" and the other means "polite."

If that is the best he has, he has nothing. Alex is the typical product of our time: over-schooled and under-educated.
47 posted on 12/17/2013 4:39:23 PM PST by Steve_Seattle
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To: Steve_Seattle

Or “You can keep your insurance. Period.”

I had to take a look at his blog. Lots of blog posts on all of his wedding planning, and having mason jars in the decoration theme. He was considering inviting a blog reader to the wedding, based on a photo of the lucky winner’s butt.

And I thought things in Seattle were goofy.


48 posted on 12/17/2013 4:45:38 PM PST by 21twelve (http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2185147/posts 2013 is 1933 REBORN)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

“Racist aunt” - evidently he has experience with racists aunts - but I would like him to EXPLAIN where and why he gets the “racist” label for Sarah. Can’t do it? Then leave that out of your ignorant diatribe.

“Obamacare death panels” Which of those words is made up? Ohhh yes, “Obamacare” is a made up word...made up by the Obama administration. “Death” and “panels” are both words with real meaning and when put together they carry a warning...one that has been proven true; you ignorant mule.

“Lamestream media” - descriptive, accurate, and conveys a concept (the purpose of language). You, you ignorant slut, are Exhibit A.

(Speaking of made up words Suessian, anybody?)

“Liberal militant atheist secularists” - every one of those is an existing word...just because you don’t like the way they are put together and the meaning they convey, you IGNORANT “Liberal militant atheist secularist”, doesn’t make them meaningless or misused.

“...constitutional protection against establishment of state religion.” Your ignorance is BLAZING! The period belongs OUTSIDE the quotes, you ignorant media whore (insert quote by Dorothy Parker here). Besides, your statement shows your complete lack of understanding (a long phrase for ignorance) of the establishment clause.

“To celebrate the event (I guess?)...” YOU GUESS? It is perfectly OK for you to slime someone with your IGNORANT suppositions?? And you have the temerity (look it up) to criticize ANYBODY’S writing????

“Civil disobedience” is a perfect use for the situation. The phrase is not “civil lawbreaking” - you ignorant sow (apologies to honest sows everywhere). She disobeyed, in a civil way, all your politically correct guidelines, born of your ignorant and wrong assumptions about guns and gun ownership...which leads us to

“Buying a gun is both legal and dangerous” - POPPYCOCK! There is absolutely NO danger involved in buying a gun...unless you are buying it illegally - and you’ve already stated it was a legal purchase - you simpleton...no, simpletons have an excuse for their ignorance, you don’t!

“Her inability to use words correctly...” She has - as I have shown - used her words with accuracy and precision; which to those of us who are not of the lemmingnata (see how I made up that word to describe the mad rush of those, like you, who ignorantly fancy themselves to be superior to the rest of us - while exposing their crass inanity, stupidity, and inability for independent thought?) is the perfectly correct use of words. You, on the other hand...

You display your ignorance of the proper use of a colon when describing a list to follow - Sarah did it exactly right, you IGNORANTLY say it’s wrong.

“Jesusy” - made up words, anybody?

“One third of the book is her vision of Christmas Yet To Come, in which she details all the horrible things that have happened because we lost respect for Jesusy Christmas. ‘You guys, in this future that I just made up, everything is terrible! So we should change.’” Make your own tense there ignorant one? “Christmas Yet To Come” should give you a hint as to the tense...these things have not HAPPENED, you ignorant, sexist, racist tool, because they are “YET TO COME”. Evidently Sarah is MUCH brighter than you.

Saturnalia/Christian Christmas - well, ignorant scumbag, you make the fallacious assumption that Saturnalia and Christianity are both equal in terms of good and evil - so you obtusely and IGNORANTLY miss the whole point of her argument. Logic hint here - do not try to critique the logic of an argument you don’t understand.

“This one’s actually got a real name...” - oh, you mean you MADE UP the other words??? Hmmmmmm?

“Stores need to say Merry Christmas because that’s the true meaning of the season but buying things isn’t the meaning of Christmas so it doesn’t matter what stores say but it’s really important to them that you acknowledge their religion because words matter but militant atheists shouldn’t get so easily offended by some simple words like ‘merry Christmas’.” That there is a strawman argument right there. It’s a real word too, and it is a fallacy. In layman’s terms it is “putting words into someone’s mouth” - the hallmark of a liar, and an ignorant liar.

You are stupid, ignorant, dishonest and basically evil - if what you write is any window on your soul.


49 posted on 12/17/2013 4:59:52 PM PST by GilesB
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To: beef

Never seen it, though I’ve heard of it. Any good?


50 posted on 12/17/2013 4:59:52 PM PST by 2ndDivisionVet (A courageous man finds a way, an ordinary man finds an excuse.)
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To: Thank You Rush

”Alex Falcone is a fresh, young, moderately attractive comedian living in Portland, OR”

Which explains why I HATE moderates!

There is NOTHING attractive or comedic about him. So evidently moderates are just a bunch of nothing...yep, I think I’ve got that right.


51 posted on 12/17/2013 5:07:37 PM PST by GilesB
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>> If only somebody had told her the power of sentences!

>> 10 points.

>> Correct!

>> 15 points.

>> 25 points!

Eunuchs are the bitchiest of ‘em all.


52 posted on 12/17/2013 5:08:41 PM PST by Gene Eric (Don't be a statist!)
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To: GilesB
Comedian in PTown means he makes fun of Conservatives with hate and venom.
53 posted on 12/17/2013 5:11:23 PM PST by bray (Repeal Obamacare)
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To: bray

“Attractive” must mean something similar to comedian in PDX.


54 posted on 12/17/2013 5:17:20 PM PST by GilesB
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Is Alex Falcone a limp-wristed sodomite?

He sure writes like one ...


55 posted on 12/17/2013 5:21:01 PM PST by NorthMountain
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To: GilesB
Yeah, well, you'd think that in an article complaining about word usage he could at least make certain his subjects and verbs agree:

Did I miss the part where a national coalition of atheists were pushing for slavery?

Singular subject, plural verb. Yes, I am that petty.

56 posted on 12/17/2013 5:25:59 PM PST by Vroomfondel
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To: oh8eleven

That The Family Guy?


57 posted on 12/17/2013 5:26:27 PM PST by snappahead (if your gonna be dumb, you better be tough.)
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To: oh8eleven

Nice chicklets chubsey-ubsey. Remind me of a picket fence I used to paint.


58 posted on 12/17/2013 5:31:00 PM PST by Batman11 (Obama is not American.. he has no clue what it is to be American.)
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To: Vroomfondel
"Singular subject, plural verb. Yes, I am that petty."

You are not being petty in pointing out grammatical errors in a piece in which the author is criticizing Palin for her (supposedly) grammatical errors. The author is, in fact, a very poor writer.
59 posted on 12/17/2013 5:32:01 PM PST by Steve_Seattle
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To: GilesB
"The period belongs OUTSIDE the quotes"

You touch on a subject that has always troubled me - the rules for placing punctuation marks inside or outside of quotes. My research tells me that standard American and British usage are different, and the British usage seems more logical to me. (If I recall correctly, the British are more consistent in putting the punctuation marks OUTSIDE of the quoted word or text.)
60 posted on 12/17/2013 5:36:43 PM PST by Steve_Seattle
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