Posted on 10/31/2013 12:51:03 PM PDT by absentee
I've finally decided what I'm going to dress as while handing out Halloween candy this year. And I've outlined it below in a festive post I like to call ...
The Twelve Costumes of Halloween
On the first time the doorbell rings, I'll answer dressed as Kathleen Sebelius and tell them to come back at the end of November.
The second time it rings, I'll answer as Sebelius and when they ask for candy, I'll say I don't work for them and slam the door.
On the third time, I'll answer as Sebelius and when they say trick or treat, I'll say "Whatever" and throw candy at their faces. Hard.
On the fourth ring, I'll answer as Sebelius, apologize for any delays, accept responsibility, throw candy at their faces, insist that I didn't throw any candy, and then tell them how to fax their complaints.
On the fifth ring, I'll answer as Barack Obama, take the candy from one kid and give it to the others.
On the sixth visit, I'll answer as Obama and tell them no one told me it was Halloween.
(Excerpt) Read more at facebook.com ...
PLease post the Whole thing for us behind firewalls. This Looks VERY Phunny!
“I’ll answer as Obama and tell them no one told me it was Halloween.”
LOL, they are all good but I think this one’s my fave.
I liked the “I’ll answer as Joe Biden” one myself.
Thanks for posting this!
I agree with another poster — no one told me it was Halloween; didn’t know til I read it in the paper tomorrow.
Your wish is my command....
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The Twelve Costumes of Halloween
October 31, 2013 at 3:18pm
I’ve finally decided what I’m going to dress as while handing out Halloween candy this year. And I’ve outlined it below in a festive post I like to call ...
The Twelve Costumes of Halloween
On the first time the doorbell rings, I’ll answer dressed as Kathleen Sebelius and tell them to come back at the end of November.
The second time it rings, I’ll answer as Sebelius and when they ask for candy, I’ll say I don’t work for them and slam the door.
On the third time, I’ll answer as Sebelius and when they say trick or treat, I’ll say “Whatever” and throw candy at their faces. Hard.
On the fourth ring, I’ll answer as Sebelius, apologize for any delays, accept responsibility, throw candy at their faces, insist that I didn’t throw any candy, and then tell them how to fax their complaints.
On the fifth ring, I’ll answer as Barack Obama, take the candy from one kid and give it to the others.
On the sixth visit, I’ll answer as Obama and tell them no one told me it was Halloween.
On the seventh visit, I’ll answer as Obama and tell them that if they like their candy, they can keep it. Then I’ll sneak up behind them and steal it.
On the eighth visit, I’ll answer as Bill Clinton and sleep with the kids’ moms.
On the ninth, I’ll answer as Hillary Clinton and ignore terrorist threats against the children.
On the tenth, I’ll answer as Dennis Kucinich and tell the kids my Lucky Charms were stolen by a really weird looking alien. Then I’ll hide in a bush.
On the eleventh visit, I’ll answer as Ron Paul and give them the Lucky Charms I stole from Dennis Kucinich.
And on the twelfth doorbell ring, I’ll answer as Joe Biden, wish the kids Merry Christmas, and give them Easter eggs.
So what are you going as?
“So what are you going as?”, A Grumpy Old Man!
On the twelfth ring you’re supposed to shoot a shotgun through the door. Biden says so.
My Halloween costume last year was Lady Liberty.
This year I am an NSA spy.
True story.
If not, could the whole list be posted here? I refuse to join Facebook for any reason at all. Except for a free AR-15 and 10,000 round gift pack, of course.
Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
Naked with roller skates. I'll be a pull toy.
Check #6 ^^^^^^^
I already posted it. I am unaware of excerpting rules for FB.
Sign up there (under an alias, obviously) and start instructing the impressionable youts of America. You can also get nice updates from Palin, Herman Cain, Cruz, etc.
And on the twelfth doorbell ring, I’ll answer as Joe Biden, wish the kids Merry Christmas, and give them Easter eggs.
The Glitch Witch answers and doesn’t hand out candy, tells the kids they should have been aborted.
The Twelve Costumes of Halloween
On the first time the doorbell rings, I’ll answer dressed as Kathleen Sebelius and tell them to come back at the end of November.
The second time it rings, I’ll answer as Sebelius and when they ask for candy, I’ll say I don’t work for them and slam the door.
On the third time, I’ll answer as Sebelius and when they say trick or treat, I’ll say “Whatever” and throw candy at their faces. Hard.
On the fourth ring, I’ll answer as Sebelius, apologize for any delays, accept responsibility, throw candy at their faces, insist that I didn’t throw any candy, and then tell them how to fax their complaints.
On the fifth ring, I’ll answer as Barack Obama, take the candy from one kid and give it to the others.
On the sixth visit, I’ll answer as Obama and tell them no one told me it was Halloween.
On the seventh visit, I’ll answer as Obama and tell them that if they like their candy, they can keep it. Then I’ll sneak up behind them and steal it.
On the eighth visit, I’ll answer as Bill Clinton and sleep with the kids’ moms.
On the ninth, I’ll answer as Hillary Clinton and ignore terrorist threats against the children.
On the tenth, I’ll answer as Dennis Kucinich and tell the kids my Lucky Charms were stolen by a really weird looking alien. Then I’ll hide in a bush.
On the eleventh visit, I’ll answer as Ron Paul and give them the Lucky Charms I stole from Dennis Kucinich.
And on the twelfth doorbell ring, I’ll answer as Joe Biden, wish the kids Merry Christmas, and give them Easter eggs.
And on the twelfth doorbell ring, I’ll answer as Joe Biden, and shoot my shotgun in the air to scare them off.
We had one little group of tricker or treaters. I guess this was the wrong neighborhood to buy 5 bags of candy for.
Next year, if we are still here, I want to dress as Santa Claus with a Jack-O-Lantern kettle in front a store giving away candy. lol
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