Posted on 06/29/2013 9:15:24 AM PDT by rickmichaels
I'm so loyal to the Canadian flag, when you cut me I bleed red while my face goes a little white.
I believe in the sanctity of poutine with real curds and the need to do everything — including using the military option — to stop the U.S. from off-loading their inferior chocolate bars on us.
I feel safest in foreign lands with a Canadian flag sewn on my backpack and list my passport as the document I'm most proud of.
That said, I think as a nation we wrap ourselves in myth as much as that Maple Leaf.
There are longstanding national truisms — often exported as '100% Canadian' — that are about as all natural as our beloved all-dressed chips.
On this most hallowed long-weekend, let's face up to a few lies told about us — by us.
(10) That we're a nation of hockey fanatics. We love the idea of hockey. And have more than our fair share of rabid fans. But the majority of Canadians could care less if the puck drops each fall.
An Environics Institute poll released last year found only one in four Canadians said they love the game, with less than half the country catching games on TV.
Other studies have found only three in 10 follow the sport, and University of Lethbridge sociologist Reginald Bibby found a dropping interest in big league hockey among teens, compared to their fathers.
(9) We're not always so friggin' nice.
We Canadians have slyly shipped out this idea that we're all extremely polite and forgiving.
While we do seem to use the word "sorry" a fair bit, we can be as ill tempered, aggravated and miffed as the next guy.
Let's keep in mind that a September 2012 Canadian Institute of Health Research paper found that out of 35 countries, our 13-year-olds ranked ninth in terms of bullying.
(8) Part of the 'nice' moniker includes our place as a nation of peace lovers who don't take sides in a fight.
Tell that to the kin of Canadian farmers and shopkeepers who took up arms for Britain in the first years of the First World War, or read the respectful writings of Germans who faced fierce Canadians on the battlefield in the Second World War. Or travel to Afghanistan, and ask around.
Canadians like peace and consensus, but we have a rich history of making bullies swallow a lot of their own blood.
(7) That we hate guns.
As of March, of this year, 1,937,877 Canadians held valid firearm licenses. In Ontario, there are about 541,528 while in Alberta there are 241,630.
Even on tiny P.E.I., there are more than 6,000 licenses.
In 2007, we were ranked 13th on Earth in terms of guns-to-population ratio -- ahead of Mexico (42) and South Africa (50).
(6) We idolize our health care.
But we simply don't have the best health care in the world.
More and more, stats are showing our system underperforms and is more expensive than it should be.
One report earlier this year found, compared to doctors in nine other countries, Canadian primary care physicians were the least likely to routinely provide same or next-day appointments and were also least likely to see someone at home.
It found no improvement in any area of access to care across the country since 2006.
(5) We're smarter than Americans.
We like to make fun of the U.S. It's a national pastime, even as we soak up their culture like diapers.
We love it when we see our cities in American movies and only truly respect our own stars once they move south.
We follow their consumer trends and read the books they like.
We steal and import their reality shows and we know their politicians better than we know our own.
And yet we think we're smarter than our counterparts in the U.S.?
That's a bit dumb of us.
(4) We don't need to lock our doors.
There are around -- give or take a mugging or busted window -- 2.5 million crimes reported in our country each year. Yes, America has a lot more crime.
But just looking at our homicides alone, comparing killings per 100,000 population, we came 10th out of 36 nations in a 2011 UN report, above the murder rate in France, England and Germany.
We don't normally dodge bullets on the way to work, but yes we should be double-checking our dead bolts each night.
(3) We say "aboot" instead of "about" and we add "eh" to every conversation.
The problem is, this isn't really true. By design, we are a nation of immigrants, and our dialects and accents range widely.
In fact, an article in the language-watching dialectblog.com could find no evidence of "aboot" in various speeches, noting it was as much of a myth as everyone in New Jersey calling home "New Joy-sey".
As for "Eh", Americans often use it as well.
(2) As Canadians, we turn a jaundiced eye to the politics of other nations, with a cocky sense of superiority.
In 2012, Transparency International -- a watchdog of global corporate and political wrongdoing -- ranked us ninth in terms of perception of corruption.
But our process is not as squeaky clean as we would have ourselves, and others, believe.
We have election robo-calls and senators with their hands in our pockets. We have Montreal literally built on corruption. We have municipal politicians facing criminal investigations.
We're far from North Korea or Somalia, but we may want to lay off the stone throwing for a while.
(1) That our most beloved symbol is the beaver.
Frankly, most Canadians would run like hell if they ever came face to face with one of the dam rodents.
Did you know a homicidal beaver killed a guy in Belarus recently as the man was posing for a photo?
The 2011 debate really was never really resolved when Conservative Senator Nicole Eaton suggested it was time for a change from being associated with a "dentally-defective rat".
A survey last Canada Day found only 9% of Canadians chose the beaver as our national symbol -- far behind the Maple Leaf.
The polar bear would be a better fit.
It's tough and hearty and sits at the top of the world.
That's a Canadian legend that we can live with.
The flag thing makes me laugh In Kiev Ukraine a few years ago a bus load of Canadian tourists walked past me and my Ukrainian friends. My friends asked why they all wore little Canadian flags on their backpacks. I told them that was so no one would mistake them for Americans
I’ve heard plenty of Canadians say “aboot”. I also have heard one in particular say, repeatedly, “a-GAIN” instead of “again” as most Americans would pronounce it. He claims to have been verbally abused, along with his wife and children, for being Canadians while living in the U.S.
is there such a thing as fake curds?
Eh?
I love malt vinegar on fries and birchbark beer.
I have watched Corner Gas and
#10 They were almost all hockey nuts. Or table hockey.
#9 Oscar , your right.
#8 On the show where they tried to convince Oscar he was an American they said Canadians were didn’t hold strong opinions. They were really firm about that!
#7 Davis liked shooting guns Oscar cased cats up trees with guns. Some of you must like guns.
#6 I know they wanted a dotor to live in their town. Can’t really say on this one.
#5 Hank made fun of the American guy.
#4 Davis sold that alarm to Oscar and Emma.
#3 It must be a regional thing. They didn’t on the the show but I had a neighbor who moved here did.
#2 They said goverment waste money and “the” tax guy turned out to kinda nice. But then the gas inspector shout down the station. You do have a bit of a bureaucracy going there.
#1 I don’t think maple tree vs beaver ever came up. Hank didn’t like trees because they didn’t make sounds if the fell in the forest. I saw the Canadian flag on the show all he time but I don’t recall a beaver. We know that big, little vs prairie dog, gopher canceled each other out.
In general from watching Conner Gas it seems like a pretty nice county.
A little quirky at times but nice.
I’d follow Oscar around all the time just to keep him wound up. LOL
Canada Ping!
Loved your article! I feel that since I have French-Canadian blood (Quebec) and Scot-Canadian blood (Nova Scotia), I can say a couple of things — and they are not really negative.
My Canadian relatives in Montreal always said “aboot” and “eh”, but maybe because that was such a long time ago (30s, 40s, 50s) and there wasn’t the influx of nationalities as there is now. Also, I’m Massachusetts born and raised, but married into New Jersey. The only people here who say Joisey, are not New Jerseyans.
I have such fond memories of the year I lived in Montreal as a kid (Mother was getting her citizenship verified) and could even sing “O Canada” from heart. Still can! And — they were big hockey fans. Maybe because there was a relative playing for the Canadiens?
Anyway — I liked this article and plan to send it to my American brothers.
I’m a Michigander so I’m overrun by Icebacks. LOL
Who was your relative who played for Les Canadiens?
I used to date a girl in Windsor. I used to harass her about her gratuitous overuse of the letter “U”.
Its COLOR dammit.
BTW, it is a job, not a jab. I have a jab down at the lumber yard.
And I feel for anyone named Scott in the States, being addressed Scat. Lovely.
I had a sales rep once, originally from Ontario province, who pronounced “about” that way. Some Virginians as well as descendants of those who settled the barrier islands from Maryland down to the Outer Banks do as well. “Oot and aboot the hoose,” out and about the house.
Funny story about that sales rep, I had a rush job, needed samples. To save time we met halfway at a little steakhouse just off the interstate in a small town. Had “marinated steak” as a lunch special, he asked what sort of marinade. The little country gal waiting our table looked stumped for a bit, then lit up and blurted out “wayuul, jus awl kahndsa spahsses” ( well, just all kinds of spices). The rep’s jaw dropped, he almost fell out of his chair. “”In WHAT???”
A funny story about who's "safe" where.I've done a lot of traveling,including to English speaking countries.During those travels I was always asked if I was Canadian,particularly in Australia.This is strange because I sound far more like Jerry Seinfeld than Red Green.Once,in Australia,I was asked again if I was Canadian.I laughed,as I always did,and said no,I'm an American.He seemed like a nice guy so I asked him why he thought I was Canadian.He said "we Aussies can't tell your accents apart so,to be on the safe side,we always lead with Canadian"."Why?",I said."Because when an American is mistaken for a Canadian he's not angry or insulted.But when a Canadian is mistaken for an American he can get a bit miffed".
Also,I'm a dual citizen (US/Ireland).I always travel with my Irish passport because in many parts of the world we're hated and even subject to kidnapping,etc...whereas nobody hates the Irish (except maybe for the Brits).
There's a Brit comedian named Eddie Izzard who's hilarious.Check him out if you've never heard him.He once did a gig in the US during which he got talking about different pronunciations in Britain and the US.He gave a couple of examples,one of which was "you say erb and we say herb...because there a f**cking "h" in it".
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