Posted on 03/30/2013 12:04:50 AM PDT by John Semmens
A handful of Democratic members of Congress were warned by the Party's big donors to get in line behind President Obama's push for gun-control legislation lest they face “dire consequences.”
“Money is the 'mother's milk' of political success,” said a leading Democratic financier under promise of anonymity. “Senators from GOP leaning states may think they'll face electoral defeat if they come out in favor of gun-control. We just want to remind them that they'll be taken off the campaign cash teat if they don't.”
“They should also remember there are other ways the President can punish them,” he continued. “He can cut their shares of discretionary federal outlays. He can harass their constituents by sending swarms of officers to rigorously enforce irksome regulations. And in extreme cases, he can order the use of deadly force against anyone who threatens his beneficent administration to the people's needs.”
One of the targets, Senator Mary Landrieu (D-LA), rued what she called “heavy-handed tactics” and pleaded for “some sort of reasonable accommodation. I don't see why we can't be permitted to pose as defenders of the right to bear arms while being allowed to work covertly to support the President like we have on other issues.”
Another, Senator Max Baucus (D-Mont), characterized the threat as “ill-considered. These Democratic donors are already well rewarded for their efforts. Each dollar donated to elect Democrats nets donors a hundred in return from federal subsidies paid out to their businesses and organizations. They need us to put money in their pockets. They ought to be able to stand a little posturing on our part to ensure our reelection.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/131336-2013-03-29-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-march-31-2013.htm
ping
Thuggery.
Without the BIG bucks flowing into the public servants’ pockets, we wouldn’t even have a government. Right now, we’ve got the best government money can buy. If you have the BIG bucks, you can buy public servants pretty cheap.
I think I’ll switch parties and become a Democrat.
That way, I can lie, cheat, steal, behave like a thug, openly express racist thoughts. The MSM will still say that I’m a nice guy, cover for my behavior, and consider me “highly electable.”
Thanks for the post, and the ping to another head shakin’, cynical grinnin’, SHEESH! exclaimin’ satire John.
I’m not so sure about the semi-satire tag as I have no doubt that this is really the way things work and not only with the ‘rats.
Dire consequences? Sounds like extortion to me.
.....many a true word spoken in jest....
Sounds like a Mafia protection racket or typical Chicago Democrat politics. If these wayward Dems wait awhile to get on board the gun-grabbers train, they can either collect handsome bribes, or they can wind up in an unfortunate “accident,” as so many Clinton opponents did.
Okay. It’s satire. But it is probably 90% correct.
The party of political blackmail.
It works too, the Dems have a stranglehold on their members.
Not one dares to stray from the party.
All too true, likely...
Except for the fake “direct quotes”, this article isn’t satire at all.
In the immortal words of the prophet Dan, “It is fake but accurate.”
Chicgo style thuggery in action.
I NEED my second cuppa. Started to read without checking the byline. By the time I got to Paragraph 3, I woke up. You sure got my blood pressure working this am, John. Thanks.
“Since the vast majority of visits to doctors are unnecessary and often result in more harm than good, if costs for medical care rise we should expect overall health to improve,” Sebelius projected. “I mean, unless you are a trauma victim, the chances of medical intervention helping you are slim...
It may be "Semi" satire, but one believes, John, that you've captured the aristocratic essence of one Ms. Sebelius. (It also might be re-worded just slightly, and find its way into an HHS staff report.)
This weeks entire column is a candidate for the "Best Of".
.
Way to go, John. Thanks again for the ping.
Sounds like bribery to me. No wait, if a rat does it it’s just “politics as usual” rather than bribery. Silly me.
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