Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Top Ten Reasons Why Obama is Not Satan
The American Catholic ^ | 3/18/2013 | Donald R. McClarey

Posted on 03/18/2013 3:19:37 PM PDT by markomalley

 

The Internet is abuzz with the fact that Satan on the History Channel’s The Bible miniseries, which has gotten great ratings, looks a tad like Obama if Michele gets him to go on a veggies only diet.  I really don’t see much resemblance but it does give us a good excuse to look at the top ten reasons why Obama is not Satan:

1.  Hell has never run a deficit.

2.  Satan, whatever his other manifest evils, has never voted present.

3.  Satan resides in Hell and Obama resides in Chicago.  (A small difference I concede.).

4.  Satan is the prince of liars, while Obama is at most an archduke of liars.

5.  Satan to my knowledge has never eaten dog.

6.  Satan has never used a teleprompter as far as I know.

7.  The people of the United States have never elected Satan as President, although if God were running as a Republican and Satan as a Democrat in Cook County, I would not like God’s chances.

8.  Satan has never attempted to have the Catholic Church pay for birth control.

9.  Satan gets almost as bad press in the Mainstream Media as the Republican party.

10.Satan does not have a second in command as dimwitted as Biden.


TOPICS: Politics; Religion
KEYWORDS: satan
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-84 next last

1 posted on 03/18/2013 3:19:37 PM PDT by markomalley
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: markomalley

11. Satan’s wart is on his chin instead of next to his nose.


2 posted on 03/18/2013 3:23:38 PM PDT by laweeks
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: markomalley

Those are good, especially #10.

“10.Satan does not have a second in command as dimwitted as Biden.”


3 posted on 03/18/2013 3:24:59 PM PDT by mkmensinger
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: laweeks

12) Satan would write his own biography.


4 posted on 03/18/2013 3:25:57 PM PDT by CaptainK (...please make it stop. Shake a can of pennies at it.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: mkmensinger

5 posted on 03/18/2013 3:26:37 PM PDT by USFRIENDINVICTORIA
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: CaptainK

13) Satan wouldn’t have a composite girlfriend.


6 posted on 03/18/2013 3:29:59 PM PDT by laweeks
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: markomalley

14: Satan didn’t marry his beard.


7 posted on 03/18/2013 3:32:28 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (I can neither confirm or deny that; even if I could, I couldn't - it's classified.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: markomalley

Satan has experience running a large complex organization successfully.


8 posted on 03/18/2013 3:34:51 PM PDT by muir_redwoods (Don't fire until you see the blue of their helmets)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: markomalley

15. Satan outwits people.


9 posted on 03/18/2013 3:37:32 PM PDT by Nomedeplume
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: markomalley

11. Satans biggest accomplishment is convincing people he does not exist.


10 posted on 03/18/2013 3:37:54 PM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: markomalley

Satan knows what he’s doing
Satan does not need Jarret to act on his behalf
Satan will occasionally do something right if only to throw people off...

This could go on for (insert Carl Sagan here) BILLIONS AND BILLIONS of examples.


11 posted on 03/18/2013 3:39:24 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: markomalley

#5 is a hoot. Gotta remember that one. Thanks for the laugh!


12 posted on 03/18/2013 3:42:32 PM PDT by PeevedPatriot
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...
This could be fun thread...

13 posted on 03/18/2013 3:42:46 PM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: markomalley

Obama/Satan - One of them believes in God.


14 posted on 03/18/2013 3:44:06 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: markomalley

Satan knows Scripture and can quote it correctly...


15 posted on 03/18/2013 3:47:36 PM PDT by Gritty (The Constitution's purpose is to insulate personal freedom from the lust for power-Judge Napolitano)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Norm Lenhart
Obama/Satan - One of them believes in God.

The other one thinks he's God.


16 posted on 03/18/2013 3:49:02 PM PDT by darkwing104 (Let's get dangerous)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: markomalley

16. Satan would never have married Michelle, he already knew what Hell is.


17 posted on 03/18/2013 3:50:55 PM PDT by Michael.SF. (Obama lied, Stevens died.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gritty

LOL. also, Satan doesn’t have a “wife”.


18 posted on 03/18/2013 3:52:18 PM PDT by ZinGirl (kids in college....can't afford a tagline right now)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: NYer

lulz Ping


19 posted on 03/18/2013 3:53:11 PM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

Hang onto it for Friday, OK?


20 posted on 03/18/2013 3:55:17 PM PDT by Monkey Face (In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. ~ Ben Franklin)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-84 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson