Posted on 06/09/2012 5:45:08 AM PDT by Popman
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A FLORIDIAN WHEN....
*Socks are only for bowling.
* You never use an umbrella because the rain will be over in five minutes.
* A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade. ...
* You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
* Anything under 70 degrees is chilly.
* You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.
* You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
* You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.
* You dread love bug season.
* You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances. You know them as Andrew, Charley, Frances, Ivan, Jeanne, Wilma, Irene, Cheryl, Rita, Mary, Alison
* You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.
* You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
* 'Down South' means Key West .
* Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.
* You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
* You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
* A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
* You know the four seasons really are: Hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.
* You've hosted a hurricane party.
* You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Withlacoochee , Thonotosassa and Micanopy.
* You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself
* You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
* You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years. * You recognize Miami-Dade as Northern Cuba.
* You not only repost this but you understand it! Floridian baby...
Your boat costs more than your car.
Thats all me!
I even get bugged when the media mispronounce “Boca Raton.”
You’ve jay-walked to avoid a rain shower
Correction:
A Floridian knows the four seasons as summer, spring, summer, summer.
30 gallons of gas
20 cases of bottled water
Fill propane tanks
Start and check generator
Battery check
Flashlight check
Clean guns
Replenish ammo
Check first aid kit
You love Cuban coffee.
That’s all me too! Especially the one about parking in the shade. It gets over 100 in Tallahassee..
No beer??
You bet and about 4 times more to fill it up with gas...
I learned right away when I moved here in 80 that “a boat is a big hole in the water that you throw your money into.”
No boats in my yard. :)
Oops...your right..
5 cases of Yuengling...
You know you could never be a Floridian when the first time you walk out of the airport you’re pontificating turning around and getting back on the plane and putting on your O2 mask.
You feel smug because you can get “resident passes” to all the major amusement parks.
People from other states talk about all their squirrels, or birds. You talk about the lizards and frogs.
Other people talk about the flocks of starlings or sparrows on their lawns. You see hoards of egrets, and they’re EATING your lizards and frogs.
Bugs are something EVERYONE has, and it doesn’t mean they’re dirty.
When you bring ANY grain product, like rice or pasta home from the supermarket, you pop it in the freezer for a couple of days. And if you forget, you will learn your lesson for sure.
If you see an olds or cutlass or other old boat type car sitting on a cross street while you’re driving on a thoroughfare, you KNOW they are going to come out when you’re ten feet away, because they are driven by an old man or woman with blue hair who can’t see you.
(Nobody told me these. It’s pure experience).
But, but....we Floridians get to feel the special smugness of being # 1 hurricane target practice...
Just about every one of those also apply to the Alabama Gulf Coast.....I can relate to all of them. Thanks for the laugh this morning.
Heck, your boat costs more than your house.
Your house insurance costs more than your mortgage.
Your front lawn consists of weeds you’ve spent your life killing up north, fondly called “floratam”.
Your kids don’t know what a tulip or daffodil is, or any other bulb flower, for that manner.
Your kids strategize to take trips up North to try and HIT the snowstorms. If they do, when you come home they run around excited and run around and tell all their friends.
You smirk when folks up north talk about their property taxes. In a strange way, you also love to tell stories about how you go out and fix your own road, because property taxes don’t pay for it. (Life on the wild side!)
You know what a “mosquito truck” is, and can hear it coming two blocks over.
When you’ve climbed (or skied) Mt. Dora.
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