Posted on 12/22/2011 11:24:41 AM PST by stolinsky
Politically Correct Carols
And Thoughts on Happy Holidays
David C. Stolinsky
Dec. 22, 2011
http://texasscribbler.com/images/Say-No-Christmas_Tree2.jpg
No Christmas Tree
Colleges order Christmas trees removed after a few students complain of feeling excluded.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
Though pretty are your leaves,
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
Your presence here me grieves.
You make me feel excluded
Though I'm quite deluded,
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
You'll wind up in a Dumpster.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
Your boughs are always green,
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
You irritate the dean.
Atheists will all take fright
But neutered deans will make things right,
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
Youll wind up in a Dumpster.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
Youll cause a revolution,
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
Well blame the Constitution.
The Founders all would love your green
But now youll never more be seen,
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
Youll wind up in a Dumpster.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
Though you fill the room with beauty,
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
To trash you is our duty.
We already think it's odd
To see the slightest trace of God,
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
We'll join you in the Dumpster.
*
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Atheist
School board tries to ban Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer from grade school because song mentions Santa and Christmas, and has religious overtones. So does Dont steal − must we remove that, too? Ironically, the song was written by a Jew.
Rudolph the Red barged in here
With his most intrusive nose,
Poked it into all our business
Narcissistic, I suppose.
All of the other people
Wanted to have Christmas fun,
But he worked very hard to block them
That ungrateful son of a gun.
*
Dont Tell It on the Mountain
High-school band forbidden to play Christmas music, including Frosty the Snowman, even without words.
Cancer center kicks Santa out − We dont want to offend anyone.
Activists protest Keep Christ in Christmas sign as unconstitutional.
Atheists displace 11 of 14 Nativity images with their own signs.
Dont tell it on the mountain,
On the hills or anywhere,
Dont tell it on the mountain,
That you-know-who is born.
While ACLUs watching
Over silent folks by night,
Behold throughout the city
There is no holy light.
Dont tell it
The people feared and trembled,
When lo! above the earth,
Rang out the judges orders,
Dont hail the Saviors birth.
Dont tell it
*
Come All Unfaithful
Childrens hospital stops handing out Christmas CD to patients because it mentions Baby Jesus.
Come all unfaithful
Joyless and resentful
Come ye, O come ye
To trash the CD.
Run to the courthouse
Backed by flocks of lawyers
O come lets file a lawsuit
O come lets file a lawsuit
O come lets file a lawsuit
And stop all the joy.
Come all ungrateful
Unhappy and embittered
Come ye, O come ye
Theyre lighting the tree.
Run to the courthouse
Narcissists offended
O come lets file a lawsuit
O come lets file a lawsuit
O come lets file a lawsuit
And throw out the tree.
*
Unholy Night
Judges ban Christmas program from schools but allow Mexican Day of the Dead. This is called diversity.
Eight-year-old student told to draw picture about the holidays. He draws Jesus on the cross, but he is sent home for drawing a violent picture, and his parents are told to send him to psychotherapy. When his father complains, the father, a school custodian, has his hours cut. This is called tolerance.
Unholy night, the stars are brightly shining
But heavy clouds will obscure them from view.
Long lay the world in frightful error pining
Till we were set straight by ACLU.
No thrill of hope, no weary soul rejoices
The gloom unbroken by any light of morn.
Fall on your knees, O hear the judges voices!
No night divine, no sign of who was born
O night, unholy night, no reason not to mourn.
Led by the might of courts and judges beaming
No Constitution upon which to stand.
Led by their whims, to us quite senseless seeming
They pose as wise men to rule our fair land.
The judges rule us all despite the danger
Pretending always to be our loyal friend,
Ignore our need, to our wishes are a stranger,
They scorn lifes start, but celebrate its end.
Behold the judges, before them lowly bend!
*
O Muslim Town of Bethlehem
The Christian population of Bethlehem, birthplace of Jesus, continues to decline, having fallen from 85% to 12% because of continued violence, as well as discrimination by the Palestinian Authority.
Christians in Gaza Strip living in a state of fear. They are warned by Muslims to hold only small, quiet Christmas observances.
Liberal church stages program of carols with anti-Israel lyrics. The massive contradiction escapes the organizers.
O Muslim town of Bethlehem
How still we see thee lie,
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
The crescent-star flags fly.
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
No everlasting light,
The Christians here for all these years
Have sadly taken flight.
O holy child of Bethlehem
Will you please go away,
Leave us in sin, dont enter in
Theres no one left to pray.
There are no Christmas angels
Who great glad tidings tell,
Theyve all left town, no one around
No one to ring the bell.
*
Thoughts on Happy Holidays
Polls reveal that 96% of Americans celebrate Christmas. How is it inclusive to exclude this vast majority? And 90% believe it is the birthday of Jesus. How is it tolerant not to tolerate expression of this widely held belief? Liberals claim that our Founders were deists or agnostics who wrote the Constitution to prevent any influence of religion on our public life. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Happy holidays instead of Merry Christmas? Insist on it at work. Nativity scenes on city property? Rule them illegal. Salvation Army Santas collecting money for the needy? Kick them out of malls. Carols or Christmas trees in schools? Never! But skeletons and ghouls for Halloween? No problem. The first year West Hollywood, California was incorporated as a city, the city offices were closed on Halloween but open on Christmas Day. What does that tell you?
Then we have the usual complaints about Christmas being commercialized, and that we are deep into consumerism. These complaints might be legitimate, if they came from clergy who want to emphasize the spiritual meaning of Christmas. But why do secular liberals make similar complaints? And why do these people never complain that Halloween is too commercialized? After all, Halloween is now our second-largest shopping season. There may be a clue here. Witches and devils? No problem shop till you drop. But Baby Jesus in the manger? No way!
To quote Tom Piatak: Giotto never painted a Kwanzaa scene, Bach did not write a Hanukkah oratorio, and Dickens did not pen a Ramadan carol. Could we at least be a tiny bit grateful for the art, music, and literature inspired by Christianity?
This isn't the first time that totalitarians tried to ban Christmas. The communists did, and still do in Castros Cuba. Most Christmas ornaments are made in China but are not allowed to be used there. The Nazis replaced Christmas with Julfest, a pagan winter Yule festival. Totalitarians cant tolerate any Authority higher than themselves. A former conscript in the Nazi SS recalled that he was forced to celebrate not Christmas, but a counterfeit winter holiday concocted by the Nazis:
On Christmas Eve, there was a celebration, not a Christian one, but a pagan German Julfest. We were all together and had to sing some trash about the night of the clear stars and other sad substitutes for the true Christmas message.
Those who want to eradicate all signs of our Judeo-Christian heritage imagine that this will lead to a tolerant, secular nation. But the 20th century proved that secular nations can turn out to be anything but tolerant. If you doubt this, study the history of Nazism and communism.
Now we are confronted by the threat of Muslim extremists. If we have no deep beliefs, how can we hope to resist the onslaught of fanatics? Observe what is happening in Western Europe. It would be ironic if the campaign against Christianity results not in tolerance and inclusiveness, but in an extremist Muslim theocracy.
Hagia Sophia in Istanbul, one of the greatest churches in the world, was turned into a mosque and is now a museum. Is it possible that the same thing could happen to Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris and Westminster Abbey in London? This seems unlikely now, but we shall see perhaps sooner than we imagine. Mohammed is now the most popular name for newborn boys in Britain, topping Jack and Harry.
Whenever you feel pressured to say Happy holidays instead of Merry Christmas, consider these points. But while it is still permitted, may I have the pleasure of wishing you and yours a merry and blessed Christmas!
*
Dr. Stolinsky writes on political and social issues. Contact: dstol@prodigy.net. You are welcome to publish or post these articles, provided that you cite the author and website.
Peace in the Universe and beyond and goodwill to man as well as other humanpoid and non-humanoids life forms. Live long and be Merry. Or, not..its your choice.
Happy whatever day you wish to have!
I say Merry Christmas and NOT happy holidays. I REFUSE to buy Christmas type cards that have happy holidays on them. Don’t care if I can get 100 cards for a dime, I will not buy them. I will not buy yard stuff that says happy holidays. It all says Merry Christmas or Let it Snow. No happy holiday junk around the Merry Christmas house. Bah humbug on the happy holidays politically correct crap. When I worked in a lefty law firm in Seattle we were told we could not use Merry Christmas and could only say happy holidays or seasons greetings I think the other was. I refused too say either of those in response. You could get fired if you used Merry Christmas.
A Merry and Blessed Christmas to you and yours.
When I came out of the supermarket this morning it struck me, the clerks/cashiers/employees in every store I have been into the past few days all were wishing folks a Merry Christmas.
There used to be a tune on talk radio this time of year,
“Have a Rama-Hannak-Kwanzaa-mas, it’s the PC time of year,”
Then there was “We wish you a Merry ChristmaHannaKwanzaamas, and a poltically correct New Year,
“No need to get irate, ‘cause the Christ Child’s in the cradle, He’s playing with a dreidel - can’t we all just get along?”.
Things have changed, slightly, for the better. “Merry Christmas” is heard everywhere, sometimes followed by “You got a problem with that?” (only in da Bronx). The ACLU & atheists no longer rule the public square, at least it’s a pitched battle joined between Christmas-wishers (me) and the secular grinches.
That’s progress, I guess.
Can I add my two cents?
As the ACLU, CAIR and others of their ilk spread warm greetings and cheer during this Holiday Season, I think it’s time for some politically INCORRECT Christmas Carols. I’m getting misty-eyed as I compile a list of my favorites while experiencing a warm glow coming over me (I certainly hope it’s not the same kind as Alexander Litvinenko’s). Anyway, let me share a few familiar song titles with you, albeit slightly modified.
1. Infidels, Infidels, it’s jihad time in the city (Silver Bells)
2. Frosty the Imam (Frosty the Snowman), also known as, Come Fly With Me
3. Jihadi Tree, O’ Jihadi Tree, there is a Jew behind thee (Christmas Tree)
4. O’ Little Town of Kandahar (O’ Little Town of Bethlehem)
5. Omar, the One-Eyed Mullah (Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer)
6. Deck the Halls With Bombs of Plastique (Deck the Halls)
7. Hark, Harold the Mullah’s Singhing (Hark the Herald Angels)
8. Here Comes Sadr Claus (Here Comes Santa Claus)
9. Away In a Bunker (Away in a Manger)
10. We Wish You a Merry Death Wish (We Wish You a Merry Christmas)
11. No Al Qaeda In Iraq, or Nancy Pelosi’s, I’m Too Sexy For My Shirt (Skin) (all right, it’s not a Christmas Carol I know)
12. O’ Hillary, O’ Hillary, what happened to Vince Foster? (O Christmas Tree)
13. The Little Bomber Boy (The Little Drummer Boy)
14. I Saw Nancy Kissing Murthra’s Ass (I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus)
15. Slay Ride (Sleigh Ride)
16. O’ Come All Ye Muslims, kill all non-believers (O’ Come All Ye Faithful)
17. All I Want For Christmas Is My I.E.D. (All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth)
18. I’ve Got My (Suicide) Vest to Keep Me Warm (I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm)
19. Alcee Got Run Over By Pelosi (Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer)
20. Iraqin Around the Sunni Tree (Rockin Around the Christmas Tree)
21. Violent Night (Silent Night)
22. People We Have Blown Sky High (Angels We have Heard on High)
Can you feel the love here? Im thinking about releasing a CD, but will it play in Peoria?
That’s just downright funny!!! Good job!
OK, I’m throwing in my cards, I know when I see a winning hand. And yes, I hope your warm glow isn’t like Litvinenko’s. That polonium-210 is no fun at all. Of course, you don’t need to turn on the light to go to the bathroom at night, but still... In any case, merry Christmas!
When someone wishes you “happy holidays”, they are in effect wishing you “happy holy days” as that is from where the word holiday is derived.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.