Posted on 08/12/2011 6:00:44 PM PDT by Mad Dawgg
OK FReepers we may have Hugh and Series situation here! I received this email just afew moments ago and I need help in deciding what to do!
Here is the email and its from the VERY OFFICIAL EMAIL address: agentjohnedwar2@globomail.com
Federal Bureau Of InvestigationIntelligence Field Unit
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington , D.C.
Urgent Attention:
I am special Agent John Edward from the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) intelligence unit; we have just intercepted (2) trunk boxes at JFK airport New York , we are on the verge of moving them to our bureau head quarters. We started monitoring and checkmating movement of consignments after the killing of Al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden, many people are virtually involve in sponsorship of terrorism knowingly and unknowingly since they participate in unsolicited and security unchecked transactions which sometimes the aftermath effect of unclaimed funds becomes wheel power for terrorist sponsorship.
We have scanned those two trunk boxes and discovered the value is $5.7 Million Dollars and the backup document bears your name as the receiver of the money contained in the boxes and your email address is on the delivery manifest booklet plastered on the two trunk boxes , investigations / interrogation carried out on the diplomat that accompanied the boxes into the united states has it that he was to deliver this funds to your residence as payment which was due to you as unpaid lottery .Our priorities are tactically stated below. Some people have been victimizing over the years but our inception has corrected worst crime situations in and outside American.
Protect the United States and the rest of the world from terrorist attacks (see counter-terrorism);Protect the United States against foreign intelligence operations and espionage (see counter-intelligence); Protect the United States against cyber-based attacks and high-technology crimes (see cyber-warfare); Combat public corruption at all levels;
Protect civil rights; Combat transnational/national criminal organizations and enterprises (see organized crime); Combat major white-collar crime; Combat significant violent crime; Support federal, state, local and international partners;
We checked all legal documents in the boxes, and were about to release the consignments to the diplomat, when we found out that the boxes lack two very important documents Legal Clearance Certificate and Fund Ownership Certificate which as a result, the boxes was kept under security vault until you provide those required compulsory demanded due process documents According to section 229 subsection 31 of the 1991 constitution in tax payment, your consignment lacks proof of ownership certificate and legal clearance certificate from the joint team of the IRS and homeland security, and there for, you must contact us for direction and advise on how to procure the certificates, so that you can be relieved of the charges of evading tax and consignment abandonment which is a punishable offense under section 12 subsection 441 of constitution on tax evasion and unsolicited movement of consignments to any country all over the world.
You are required within the next 72hours to secure those above mentioned certificates or face the legal consequence defined for such delivery infringement, to avoid interrogation and prosecution in the court of law for money laundry and sponsorship of terrorism. We have investigative jurisdiction over every crime both in and outside United States . Also, you must not contact any other bank or persons in Nigeria , the United Kingdom or any part of the world for any payment, because your payment is presently under our custody here in United States of America . Please dont respond to any FBI message without this security code (FBI/WOR/CMM). We shall direct you on the process of who to contact after extensive investigation.
Yours in service
Agent John Edward,
Regional Director
Federal Bureau Of Investigation
Intelligence Field Unit
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, Nw Washington , D.C.
20535-0001, USA
I know many of you will have some very interesting ideas on what I should do.
Right! Single malt scotch and an H. Uppman cigar.
Also....I sincerely doubt whether you HAVE been contacted by Agent John Edward. MY guess is that you have been contacted by someone POSING AS John Edward, who may not even exist.
Learn from Master Lowbridge, Grasshopper.
Forward the email to your congress-critter with a request that he would send digital pictures of his genitalia to the miscreant.
That will teach them!
JOHN EDWARDS?!! Is that YOU, Breck Girl?!
I have no idea how my name has become entangled in this situation of which you have notified me. But I will be glad to do anything to help you catch these foreign devils. I will send you copies of any Identification papers you need because I wish to help you in your efforts to keep our wonderful homeland safe from these outsiders.
My wife however is very suspicious and tells me I must be certain that I am dealing with a real FBI agent. She claims if you are a real FBI Agent you will have a government issued picture of our President Barrack Obama in your office. She will let me send you my Identity papers and other such documents you need if you send us a picture of yourself holding President Obama’s picture and to make sure it is a recent picture of you she wants you to hold a banana in your other hand. (She feels a picture of this type would be unusual enough to certify it is a recent picture.)
If such is OK with you send this picture immediately via email and I will gather up my identity papers while I wait for your reply.
Yours Truly
Byron Alistair Stanley Tour’d
Yup. Single malt, at least 10 years old.
Turn in your night vision goggles, your MREs and your (empty) ammo boxes.
(BTW, that would be Jan. 13th, 2012)
Since he’s getting 5.7 million, let’s up the ante to a 25 year old scotch.
you spying on me?!? I came on here to poke around, have some fun and post/ping a few fellow FReepers and I discover this! /h
The 1991 Constitution? Drat, my copy is waaaaaaaaaaaay out of date!
You would be a fool to respond to it.
Agent John Edward looking for ya LOL.
these are just me under one of my other scam names...
I wouldn't mess with "checkmating" movements either.
LOL!
“Legal Clearance Certificate and Fund Ownership Certificate”
I could,ahem, provide you both of these documents for say...one hundred dollars...ahem
A guy named John Edward
I have a drink, get a haircut for $400, find a mistress,
have your wife hate you, owe the government 230k and go to prison.
Send them an e-mail back that says F- You
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