Posted on 05/07/2011 5:53:39 PM PDT by John Semmens
US Attorney General Eric Holder denied critics’ contention that his Department’s Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (BATFE) scheme of selling military ordinance to Mexican drug cartels was “a stupid idea.” Under the Department’s so-called “Gunwalker” program, surplus military weapons like M-16 and M-4 assault rifles, grenades, and AK-47s captured from foreigners were sold to the cartels by BATFE agents.
“These types of criminals are going to get weapons by hook or by crook,” Holder declared. “If they buy them from us two key objectives are attained. First, the Department earns revenue that can be used for other law enforcement activities. Second, we have extensive ballistic data on these weapons so that it will be easier to make a case against anyone who commits a murder with one of the guns we sold.”
To help solidify his argument, Holder pointed out that “this program has enabled us to identify that Border Patrol Agent Brian Terry was killed with one of the guns we sold. Now, prosecuting the person who fired the rounds that killed him will be a slam-dunk.”
US Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano rallied to Holder’s defense by reminding that “these weapons are also being used to kill a lot of Mexicans who might otherwise enter the United States illegally. So, his program can also be said to have reduced the volume of undocumented persons crossing the border.”
Holder insisted that the “Gunwalker” program “in no way contradicts the President’s goal of compiling a comprehensive gun registry for this country. These weapons are officially registered as belonging to the drug cartels. While we would prefer to have each weapon logged to a specific individual owner you have to admit that this is a step in the right direction.”
In related news, Holder vowed that “my office will not rest until the NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) establishes an acceptable football playoff system for determining the national championship. Filling out brackets and watching the games unfold in the NCAA basketball tournament has been a great source of enjoyment for the President and other basketball fans. Football fans deserve the same right.”
read more...
http://azconserv1.wordpress.com/2011/05/06/president-almost-single-handedly-kills-bin-laden/
Here I am reading this to my husband all in an uproar! Generally I check to see if it’s satire.......
Man, you guys have to stop doing this to me. I’m very gullible you know! LOL
I’m glad that the title said “semi-satire.”
Fiction is getting pretty close to the truth.
I should have included that satire posts without a disclaimer add fodder to rumors and conspiracy theories. Some take the posts at face value.
The “disclaimer” should be the filter located between your ears. Slemmons is a genius, but sadly his satire hurts because it is way too close to the truth. He is holding up to ridicule the policies and absurdities of this administration. Be a little more discerning and enjoy this without a “disclaimer.”
You pinged the powers!
I’m just like you, a FReeper. FWIW, I agree.
I spotted the *semi-satire* but some will still take it as factual.
Oops. Should be Semmens not Slemmons. Jim Slemmons is a big Mercedes dealer here.
With the weird bunch that is running the country now how do you distinguish between news and satire?
With the weird bunch that is running the country now how do you distinguish between news and satire?
If I want to click satire, I would prefer knowing so. I am sick of this gotcha BS.
Spell it out for what it is. Enjoy your ridicule ... with a disclaimer.
Satire, but so close to the truth it is hard to tell.
“I spotted the *semi-satire* but some will still take it as factual.”
“some will still take it as factual” ... and they do. That’s a problem ... and discredits FR.
Personally, I tired of clicking on satire threads assuming they are treading topics.
ps. Pinged you as a FReepathoner. :)
Thanks.
REALLY put something in the title and stop wasting my time.
Non Compos Mentis
Non Compos Mentis
Made up crap, I find it annoying.
But, that’s not who we are ,as zero says.
Jeeeeez!....LOL...I took it hook line and sinker for 3 paragraphs!....U owe me for the smoke damage to my house... just because it was coming out of my ears is not a defense u can stand on...
Good satire has blatant over the top satire in every paragraph.
The first three paragraphs are probably exactly what is really being said behind the scenes.
Satire like this is designed to get people sucked in so they can be laughed at imo.
Firehat, Dave Barry, Mark Twain and other professional satirist need to be studied by latter day attempters of the art.
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