A Modest Proposal to Revive The Oscars

The Looking Spoon ^ | 2-28-11 | Jared H. McAndersen

[The Looking Spoon]

The ratings for the Oscars were down again. I don't know if they've figured out what the reason is yet, but I would be surprised that one of them isn't the narcissistic of winners to use their moment on stage to pontificate to the world. It's not just the Oscars, it's all the awards shows, these idiots just can't help themselves

When Al Gore did it he declared to a packed house of limosine liberals, who live their lives to the absolute height of excess, that we should all do our part to reduce our carbon footprint. I drive a Toyota Carolla, I should be telling Gore what HE needs to do...if only he could hear me over the engine on his private jet, or from the gates of his energy guzzling mansions.

All those hypocrites have to do is adopt a middle class lifestyle....I'm sure they'd rather move to Hell.

Then we have this year, with these make-believe bubble dwellers chiming in on what's happening in Wisconsin and extolling the "woes" of public employee unions...

At the Academy Awards tonight, best cinematography winner Wally Pfister made a point during his acceptance speech of thanking his union crew on “Inception.”....

“I think that what is going on in Wisconsin is kind of madness right now,” Pfister says. “I have been a union member for 30 years and what the union has given to me is security for my family....”

From The Note

Taxpayers don't pay for your private sector union Mister Pfister (of course the "P" is silent). Maybe you should learn the difference between your union and the public sector before spouting off like you get your news from a Magic 8 Ball.

Hollywood has forgotten that the world tunes in to the Oscars for pomp and circumstance....not pompous circumstance. Thats why I don't just choose to not watch, I actually despise the entire event.

If they want to bring people like me into the fold I have a modest proposal...try some honest marketing, so we all know what we're actually getting....it might actually work.

[Anitius Severinus Boethius]

A Modest Proposal to Revive The Oscars

Fire Bruce Vilanch?

[precisionshootist]

” Thats why I don’t just choose to not watch, I actually despise the entire event.”

I’ve always had the opinion that they would not want to come to my office party so why should I go to theirs?

[Richard Kimball]

I'd be more impressed if you could spell the name of the car you claim to drive.

I'm not the grammar police on posters, but people who put out their writings as opinion pieces should do basic spell checking. These errors reduce your credibility.

[Revolting cat!]

I drive a Toyota Carolla

[thefactor]

I have one way to guarantee that next year's show would have the highest ratings in awards show history:

The host of the 2012 Oscars: Charlie Sheen!

Now just keep him alive for the next 12 months.

[llevrok]

Fire Bruce Vilanch?

Had similar thoughts. He's the so called lead writer every year when Billy Crystal is not hosting. Seems like a pattern is developing.

[A_perfect_lady]

Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, and Jesse James. Just give ‘em microphones and let ‘er rip. And have the Beep Machine ready.

[MamaDearest]

The top male box off stars set poor or nonexistent marriage examples. Ditto Oprah and the parade of starlets who endorse the “who needs marriage” and “who is he/she sexually involved with this week” bandwagon. Almost universally they champion “alternative” lifestyles. Hollywood skanks and skankettes provide jobs to those employed by tawdry magazines that we read at grocery store checkouts if nothing else.

[boop]

I’m sure Adam Carolla is a liberal, but I did like his rant against Pelosi.

[Sapper26]

There once was a host who described the Oscars as “15 minutes of entertainment packed into 3 1/2 hours”. That might be the main problem.

[kingu]

Why bother tuning in for the Oscars anyway? You know who's going to win the big award, whomever blew the most money on the most useless portrayal of a liberal ideology, seen by virtually no one other than the ‘Oscar’ voters who were flooded with screener copies of the movies which were then sold off to others to fuel the black market that the industry claims is killing ticket revenues..

It's ludicrous. You have people who'll blow bags of money on trivial things being given faux trophies for performances that could have been better acted by text to speech programs, gift bags for nominees from companies containing tens of thousands of dollars in presents which will be mostly sold off before the red carpet's actually rolled up, being lauded by a farm of liberals who wouldn't pay a dime to watch a movie even if their relatives were being held ransom.

But somehow, the inability to pay twenty to fifty million per mainline actor and producer is the fault of nameless pirates who are ‘gutting’ the industry.

[Revolting cat!]

Oscar’s? Named by Betty Davis, when the statuette had no name, to commemorate her first hubby’s body part!

[chickadee]

They’re actually considering someone very similar to Charlie Sheen - Robert Downey, Jr. He appears to have the charm and wit to do a good job.

The Franco person who was half of the host last night was just a lox.

[princess leah]

My daughter was hoping “Waiting for Superman” would make the documentary list and I had to inform her that hell would freeze over first. After all, no one supports unions better than the Screen Actors GUILD and surely they couldn’t expose the truth before millions of people - why even a 10 second clip of that movie might open way too many minds!

[chickadee]

The documentary that won apparently blamed big business for the global financial crisis. No mention of the collusion and coercion from the Democrats.

[The Looking Spoon]

Wow, so my entire thesis hung on a typo over my car? I get a lot of good feedback here, and I get bad too. For both reasons Free Republic is one of my favorite sites to visit...but this is just too much...

How about this for credibility....I'm currently taking the week off of work to help my wife, who just had a c-section, take care of our first born daughter.

In between helping burping, change diapers, clothing, swaddling, calming down, doing the laundry and grocery shopping (because SHE can't drive for 6 weeks) I found time to work this in.

SO I WAS IN A BIT OF A HURRY when I wrote this.

You couldn't possibly have known that, but you could divine from the rest of the post that it was probably JUST A TYPO and that Joe Biden PROBABLY isn't my ghost writer.

If people choose to visit my blog they find that its totally ad free (and I have zero intention to change that). I don't get a dime. I do this because I love it, and I don't have editors like the guys at National Review. Sorry to disappoint you.

You don't want to be the grammar police?!? You just trashed my entire post, not based on its merit, but because I was too much in a hurry to check that I should have typed a freaking "o."

Here's your badge, you earned partner...

[Chunga]

I join with your critic. If you had wanted credibility or impact among educated people, every word of your "thesis" would have been spelled correctly, your punctuation would have been impeccable and you wouldn't have allowed the rush you claim as the excuse for your errors to win the day.

"Carolla" isn't your only mistake; "limosine" should be spelled "limousine" and

"I don't know if they've figured out what the reason is yet, but I would be surprised that one of them isn't the narcissistic of winners to use their moment on stage to pontificate to the world"

is just inane writing.

You're giving out cyber-badges to folks who criticize your grammatical and spelling errors? Not only can you not take well-deserved criticism, you're an extraordinarily thin-skinned chump.

[The Looking Spoon]

Oh please, you’re wrong on all counts. I’m a professional graphic designer, I practically get paid to be criticized.

If you actually knew me you would know I have a very long fuse. I’ve also taken some VERY scathing criticism at this forum over the year I’ve been active on it, and I did so with appreciation (or did you miss that part of my “thin-skinned” rant).

I’ve never had a comment like Richard’s or yours....again, what part of I was in a hurry don’t you understand?

If you think my writing is inane, that’s one thing, but there are blogs way more popular than mine out there where I’ve seen typos in their work too. Those blogs work like I do...writing on the run, in html code using editors that don’t provide Microsoft Word-like spell checking...cutting and pasting along the way, and they don’t have time to self edit. All of this was especially true for me today.

I’m sure the desired reaction was to sulk away in shame like the idiot you think I am, but showing some backbone and defending myself against “inane” criticism doesn’t make me thin-skinned, no matter how haughtily you phrase it.

[Chunga]

Conservative bloggers should require more of themselves than you do, especially when sharing their blogs on third-party websites. You're far too easy on yourself. Why do you cut yourself so much slack? Where's your rigor? Where's your discipline?

Again, defending oneself against valid criticism is for chumps. If you're too busy to write correctly, you probably shouldn't write at all...but if you must, given your penchant for sarcastically posting award GIFs, it's probably a bad idea to share your thoughts on a website featuring replies.

(Although I noticed that I'm responsible for a correction you made at your blog to a previously misspelled word. You're welcome.)