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DUmmie FUnnies 12-22-10 (Solstice plus Eclipse bigger deal to Moonbats than the "C" word)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 22, 2010 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 12/22/2010 2:37:53 PM PST by Charles Henrickson

Oh, what an exciting week this is! Because we're almost to (forgive the expression) Christmas, you say? Bah! Humbug! Don't say the "C" word! No, the big deal in DUmmieland this week is the Winter Solstice! PLUS a lunar eclipse on top of it! MUCH bigger deal than the birth of the Savior of the world!

This is further proof of my long-held thesis that the primary factor motivating the DUmmies is their burning HATRED of Christianity! So anything that is seen as an ALTERNATIVE to Christianity is widely hailed. Thus the celebration of the Winter Solstice, as a paean to paganism. Why, did you know that DUmmieland even has forums dedicated to an Ancient Wisdom and Pagan Spirituality Group and an Astrology, Spirituality & Alternative Healing Group? And they think *Christianity* is goofy??

'Tis the season to be looney! We'll be sampling from many threads, too many to link to individually. The DUmmie Druid droppings are in Retro-Religion Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who believes in keeping both the "Christ" and the "Mass" in "Christmas," is in the [brackets]:

Happy Solstice Everyone!

Solstice blessings!

[Heaven to DUmmie: Orbits cannot bless you. The One who set the planets in orbit can.]

The power of the 12/21 Lunar eclipse will be released on Xmas Day

[The power of Xmas Day is in the "X," which is the Greek "Ch," and that stands for "Chri"--whoops, almost said the unmentionable word!]

As the powerful Lunar Eclipse of 12/21 Solstice happens at 29 Gemini, it will launch its potential to be realized as the Sun moves forward and releases its energy on Christmas Day because the Sun will then be 1 degree (in trigger position) from transiting Pluto, at 4 and 5 Capricorn respectively.

[I think Pluto is about to align with Uranus.]

eek! I have an appointment on the 21st at a mental health clinic to be evaluated. . . I will take this as a good omen. . . .

[I'll evaluate you for no charge: If you think the position of Pluto means anything, you're NUTS!]

So, the eclipse's energies are to be released on probably the most stressful days of dysfunctional family gatherings... and I am scheduled to be at my MIL's who (she and her dh) are militant R's of the tea party persuasion. . . . My dh is on a short fuse as he is not feeling well, over-tired from working nights and is a Union Man. My 18 y/o son is proud to be a member of the National Socialist Party. I think I'm just going to drink a lot of alcohol, laugh insensibly at everything no matter how inappropriate, allow my MIL to insult me and call me a drunk like my father and pass out early.

[The healing power of Solstice Eclipse: Bringing families together since 1554.]

Did you know that the Winter solstice and lunar eclipse coincide for the first time in 456 yrs. . . ?

Great, I missed it last time.

[Hee! Hee! Good one!]

The monks of old China would fast for three days on plum wine taking a small drink every four hours with a large glass of water. . . . During the time of the solstice the monks would tap on refectory tables in the dining hall non-stop for 72 hours. . . . The fast and the tapping puts you in a mild trance and often you’ll see celestial visions. . . .

[I bet.]

You might consider tapping with your friends. . . . tap between three and four a.m. . . . the black fractal tubes that are sent out by people’s darkness are fairly dormant.

[OK, will do! I'm going to call all my friends and tell them to TAP at 3:00 a.m.! Tap for world peace! Let's overpower those black fractal tubes!]

Winter Solstice + Lunar Eclipse

[A Perfect Storm of Stupidity!]

I just wanted to wish all my Pagan friends here a blessed Solstice...

[And all you Christians? Well, you wouldn't be on DU anyways!]

Mother Earth, cradle us to your breast and sustain us. . . . Father Sky, watch over our safety and guide us to act honorably.

[Uncle Wind, blow on us and clear our driveways.]

So burn the log and watch the shadows on our longest night. . . .

[Cousin Log, DIE in the flames of Brother Fire!]

Solstice is the true Reason for the Season.

["For behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day a Season, which is Winter." Mmmm, kinda loses something. . . .]

I'm a Bi...both Pagan n Heathen.....

[The worst of both worlds!]

I generally don't use totems (unless you consider a fire a totem) or dance unless there's a really good drummer, but I do lie naked on the ground to gather the energies I perceive. . . .

[And to sleep off the drunk.]

Please, no spoilers about the solstice eclipse

[SPOILER ALERT: Sun setting early, turning mostly dark toward evening. The moon will go away for a while. Then it will come back. Sun will rise in the east in the morning.]

Solstice eclipse? Thanks a lot, you f***ing blabbermouth.

[Dang! You spoiled the big surprise!]

hooray night are gonna get shorter thank Gaia

[Gaia rest ye merry pagans. . .]

I believe in signs.

[Look for the sign that says "MENTAL HOSPITAL, STRAIGHT AHEAD."]

I believe this total lunar eclipse is a sign. To interpret the sign is for someone more intelligent than I.

[Which would be, well, just about anybody!]

Summer is on the way!

By a few seconds a day of extra light. Whoopie-f***ing-doo.

[The Grinch who stole Solstice.]

Gerbils also get the winter blues

[benburch checks in. . . .]

I've already had two major self-realizations since the eclipse. Amazing! They were both heavy.

[1) The moon came back again. 2) I'm still a DUmmie.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: christmas; dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; eclipse; solstice
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To: Charles Henrickson

I’ve already had two major self-realizations since the eclipse. Amazing! They were both heavy.


Reading it isn’t as nearly mind numbing as actually hearing a group of these things taking about it. I thought it would be fun to taunt them, but, then I remembered that it isn’t safe to provoke those with mental illness.


21 posted on 12/22/2010 4:17:05 PM PST by crazyhorse691 (Now that the libs are in power dissent is not only unpatriotic, but, it is also racist.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

“I believe this total lunar eclipse is a sign. To interpret the sign is for someone more intelligent than I.”

Is there a Bill Engvall joke in there somewhere?


22 posted on 12/22/2010 4:42:17 PM PST by RatsDawg
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To: Charles Henrickson
In "lou" of a Stonehenge in DUmmieland....

....the magic ceramic circle will have to do
for their lunar-atic worship! :)

23 posted on 12/22/2010 4:48:55 PM PST by luvie (Deck the harrs with bowrs of horry. Fah, rah, rah, rah, rahhhhh....rah, rah, rah, rahhhhhhh! :))
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To: Charles Henrickson
I generally don't use totems (unless you consider a fire a totem) or dance unless there's a really good drummer, but I do lie naked on the ground to gather the energies I perceive. . . .

DU's "Little Drummer Boy"

24 posted on 12/22/2010 4:51:28 PM PST by mikrofon (Ba-rumpa-pum-pum...)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Merry Christmas, everyone. Once again, the DUmmies acknowledge the What, not the Who that made it all possible.


25 posted on 12/22/2010 5:01:18 PM PST by WinOne4TheGipper (Truman: The buck stops here. Obama: Buck? What buck? Did I tell you how it's all Bush's fault?)
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To: Charles Henrickson

“Uncle Wind, blow on us and clear our driveways”.

OK, that was funny, I blew a bit of adult beverage on the ol’ screen.

Happy Christmas everyone, blessings to you all.


26 posted on 12/22/2010 5:07:34 PM PST by alarm rider (The left will always tell you who they fear the most. What are they telling you now?)
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To: WinOne4TheGipper
Once again, the DUmmies acknowledge the What, not the Who that made it all possible.

"They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen." --Romans 1:25

27 posted on 12/22/2010 5:10:49 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (I'm dreaming of a dark Solstice. . . .)
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To: Charles Henrickson

And there are people who don’t believe liberalsim is a cult.

Merry Christmas


28 posted on 12/22/2010 5:35:56 PM PST by bray (Sarah Palin will destroy the Repub Party, hopefully!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
"black fractal tubes"

RACIST!!!!!!!

Gerbils also get the winter blues

Oh, dear, I'm afraid to touch this one, now that DADT has been repealed!!! :-O

Instant CHRISTMAS classic, Charles!! God bless you and yours this holiday season and in the coming new year! :-)
29 posted on 12/22/2010 5:47:27 PM PST by pillut48 (Israel doesn't have a friend in President Obama...and neither does the USA! (h/t pgkdan))
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To: cripplecreek

Thank you, I just spit my apple jacks all over my monitor, LOL. :-)


30 posted on 12/22/2010 5:49:24 PM PST by pillut48 (Israel doesn't have a friend in President Obama...and neither does the USA! (h/t pgkdan))
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To: Charles Henrickson
Winter Solstice + Lunar Eclipse

+ Double Rainbow all the way!!!

31 posted on 12/22/2010 5:49:41 PM PST by Roscoe Karns
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To: KarlInOhio

You got a problem with me being the center of the universe???
/liberal memespeak


32 posted on 12/22/2010 5:50:25 PM PST by pillut48 (Israel doesn't have a friend in President Obama...and neither does the USA! (h/t pgkdan))
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To: Charles Henrickson

Merry Christmas Charles!


33 posted on 12/22/2010 5:50:49 PM PST by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
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To: Roscoe Karns
ROFL! Uncle Wind and Cousin Log are a formidable team!

I think they hang out in the men's bathroom a lot, don't they? Breaking wind and dropping...um, things that splash?? ;-)
34 posted on 12/22/2010 5:52:41 PM PST by pillut48 (Israel doesn't have a friend in President Obama...and neither does the USA! (h/t pgkdan))
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To: RatsDawg
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
35 posted on 12/22/2010 5:54:56 PM PST by pillut48 (Israel doesn't have a friend in President Obama...and neither does the USA! (h/t pgkdan))
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To: pillut48

I thought Uncle Wind and Cousin Log were part of the MSNBC prime time line-up.


36 posted on 12/22/2010 5:56:56 PM PST by Roscoe Karns
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To: pillut48
Sorry DUmmies. My red rainbow trumps your shadow.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
37 posted on 12/22/2010 6:12:45 PM PST by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin! (look it up))
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To: Roscoe Karns

No, no, no, you’re mistaking Uncle Blowhard (Olby) and Cousin Tingly LEG (Chrissy) for Uncle Wind and Cousin Log! ;-)


38 posted on 12/22/2010 6:29:46 PM PST by pillut48 (Israel doesn't have a friend in President Obama...and neither does the USA! (h/t pgkdan))
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To: Charles Henrickson
[Hee! Hee! Good one!]

One of DUFU's best features is that each "Hee" gets its own exclamation point. It's definitely better that way.

39 posted on 12/22/2010 6:39:23 PM PST by Yardstick
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To: Charles Henrickson
Uncle Wind, blow on us and clear our driveways

You always crack me up, Charles.

40 posted on 12/22/2010 6:47:21 PM PST by submarinerswife (Stay focused and determined. Our destination is NOVEMBER!!)
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