Posted on 10/19/2010 10:05:52 AM PDT by MichaelAsher54
HENRY WAXMAN DRAFTS COSTLY SUNLIGHT BILL
LOS ANGELES, CA (API) -- With his signature Cap & Trade anti-global warming legislation languishing after a successful June vote in the House of Representatives, beleaguered Democratic Congressman Henry Waxman of California's 30th Congressional district has drafted legislation that would impose a federal tax on sunlight.
"America is blessed with an abundance of sunshine," admitted Waxman to the annual conclave of the Natural Resources Council of Greater Malibu, "and with the imminent legalization of marijuana I was running out of attractive options to balance the trillions of dollars in debt I have racked up over the past 35 years."
According to an aide, Waxman is still furious about the passage of the Stupak-Pitts Amendment and the limitations it placed on federal funding for abortions in the Affordable Health Care for America Act. Waxman is in favor of unlimited abortion funding in every case up to and even after the birth of a child. He has even gone so far as to call for the retroactive abortion of Chuck Wilkerson, his opponent in his upcoming contest for Congress. Waxman says some receipts from his proposed National Sunlight Reclamation Act can be diverted to help fund abortions on demand and hopefully help him overturn Congressman Bart Stupak's amendment.
Wilkerson, on the other hand, has maintained that sunlight should remain free and has called on "Waxman the Taxman" -- as he prefers to call him -- to stand down. "Henry would tax air and sex if he could figure out how," said Wilkerson, "Actually, I should clam up before I give him any ideas."
Waxman's proposed legislation calls for tax collectors to patrol the nation's beaches and impose a ten dollar per hour tax on all sunbathers except for those using sunscreen with an SPF factor of 45 and above. The exterior doors of houses, office and apartment buildings would also be outfitted with computerized devices designed to count the number of hours occupants spend outside. Such data would then be electronically transmitted to a new Department of Sunlight overseen by a Sunlight Czar appointed by President Obama.
"The sun is my favorite planet," said Waxman, "and by taxing it I am doing everything in my power to keep it shining on the United States of America for generations to come."
I vote for him to be the first human mission to the sun. Let's see how close he gets.
Photoshop supplied by FReeper armymarinemom
The sun’s a star Waxman... we all know your favorite PLANET is Uranus
An Onion like article I take it. Very amusing.
Brings to mind...
Sheila Jackson Lee
Member of the U.S. House
of Representatives
from Texas's 18th district
On a visit to the NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory in 2005, Jackson Lee made embarrassing news by asking if the Mars Pathfinder had taken an image of the flag planted there in 1969 by Neil Armstrong.[2]
Prior to the 110th Congress, Jackson Lee served on the House Science Committee and on the Subcommittee that oversees space policy and NASA.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheila_Jackson_Lee#Political_career
Must see YouTube video! (no joke--dead serious!)
March 2010:
Democrat Representative Hank Johnson fears Guam may "tip over" [and sink] due to overpopulation!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNZczIgVXjg
_____________________
If vid should disappear, try this:
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=guam+%22Hank+Johnson%22&aq=f
Yeah, the affirmative action scientist, flat-earthier and chauffeured car rider for 200 yards to work.
I can see the flag on Mars from my house!
Yes, imagine if Sarah Palin had said that. The leftist media would have been all over it.
I believed the title, until I read the article. :-)
i did too. in colorado we have a dim saying his (her?) opponent wants to tax the wind. i’m sure he actually wants to do something about bird and bat killing wind farms.
but, here in colorado, it is against the law to collect rain water.
In my old hometown, we paid a "Stormwater Tax" as a part of our water utilities. Ostensibly to maintain the sewer system (which we ALSO paid for, on a separate line on the utility bill....) it was widely (and accurately) derided by the locals as a "rain tax".
Glad that I moved. Voters in my old town just appropriated 20 million in funding for an indoor swimming pool. The idea is that it'll bring in tourist foottraffic for swim competitions. Sez me, 20 large buys a whole lot of swimming pool, and if the pols are claiming it will cost 20 million, the real number is likely closer to 50.
Meanwhile, they're cutting the back the police dept for lack of funding. Really, you can't make this sort of stuff up.
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