Posted on 06/19/2010 8:14:16 PM PDT by John Semmens
This week President Barack Obama signed an Executive Order establishing the National Prevention, Health Promotion, and Public Health Council. The task of this council will be to monitor the nation’s health and prescribe the behavior modifications needed to ensure optimal health.
“Now that the federal government has taken on the responsibility of ensuring that all persons residing in America will have health insurance it is only fitting that we take aggressive steps to control the cost of this undertaking,” the President said. “We all know that bad habits are the major cause of preventable illnesses. Individuals who are unable to refrain from these bad habits on their own need our help. And the fiscal solvency of this nation requires that we impose this help where necessary.”
An initiative the Council will be asked to consider is a mandate for all employers to institute a mandatory exercise period as part of each work shift. “Lack of exercise and sedentary behavior are factors most experts cite as crucial health threats,” said US Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius. “By making physical exercise part of every workday we’ll kill two birds with one stone.”
Sebelius contended that the mandate “won’t cost us a cent. In fact, it’ll save us money over the long run. You go to the office and spend your first 30 minutes getting a physical workout at instead of gabbing, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. What used to be wasted time is now used to boost your health. It’s a win-win deal.”
Jobs that already entail a large component of physical labor will be allowed to apply for waivers, “but we will be looking very closely at these to ensure that the right balance of physical activity is still maintained,” Sebelius added. “Menus at company cafeterias will also be scrutinized to avoid losing the gains from the exercise regimen. Only the most wholesome fare in strictly measured portions will be permitted.”
In a show of solidarity, President Obama has pledged to boost his basketball and golf workouts threefold and has limited gala White House dinners to a maximum of one per week.
read more...
http://azconserv1.wordpress.com/2010/06/18/president-defends-delay-in-approach-to-gulf-oil-spill/
Much better satire than Stalin’s “Dizzy with Success” article, although both are about “lifestyle modifications”.
OUCH! LOL
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