Don't mess with the Easter Bunny, his peeps will take away your major award.
Easter Bunny is a ptarmigan murdering sodomite that masterminded the Great Ptarmigan/Rabbit War.
My father, God rest his soul, would provide us with rabbit meat every Easter. Pies, stews and stir-fried by Mom in the most creative ways, we liked the gamey flavor but knew it wasn’t chicken.
Don't mess with the Easter Bunny, his peeps will take away your major award.
You’ve done it now.
If you look at the origins of the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, etc you'll see they have zero to do with making the holidays "palatable to secularists".
And, this question could be flipped. Why did the early celebrations of Christmas borrow so much from existing pagan holidays & traditions?
“Why is it that religious holidays require mascots to make them palatable to secularists who otherwise wouldn’t give a fig about the celebration?”
Why is it that hack writers can’t think of anything to write about that has any actual validity or interest? Is this crap just to fill an empty page?
1. Fudgesicle. Where is the fudge?
2. Brownie girl scouts. When do we get the brownies?
3. And Easter bunny/eggs. How could my parents have foisted such a sham on me. Pretty eggs should taste good, not like dirty hard boiled eggs. Instead they are just plain eggs with color on them. The shells are just awful to eat. And by association the bunny must go.
Lighten up on that. We Americans take everyone else's sacred or national days and turn them to drinking. St. Patrick's Day? Bottoms up. Cinco de Mayo? Mas cervesas, por favor. If we had more French settlers "Storming the Bastille" would probably refer to a mid July pub crawl. About the only one we didn't profane with excessive drinking is Oktoberfest ... and that's just because it started in Bavaria as the world's largest drinking party. :-)
They can be microwaved, along with the peeps.
But first I’ll bite off their ears.