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Napolitano Suggests New Homeland Security Measures For Airlines
Elective Decision ^ | 01/04/2010 | Chris Davis

Posted on 01/04/2010 7:54:51 AM PST by writer33

Washington—After the recent failed terror attack, the Department Of Homeland Security and Janet Napolitano have created some new measures for airlines. These measures are designed to help raise the level of public awareness, increase safety for passengers, and reduce the possible risks of another terror attack.

The new procedures include classroom instruction for passengers flying on all international and domestic flights, removal of all underwear before going through security, and printing pamphlets for the proper procedures needed on interrogating fellow passengers. Napolitano claims that this new strategy is a “winner in the war on terror,” and that “the general public needs to step up to the plate when flying the unfriendly skies.”

(Excerpt) Read more at electivedecisions.wordpress.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: chrisdavis; janetnapolitano
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To: Cheburashka
Wear your underwear on your head so they can check.

Maybe all luggage should be sent by fedex in advance and no one allowed to wear any shoes, hats or clothing within 1 mile of any airport, even if you're not going there.

21 posted on 01/04/2010 8:14:55 AM PST by paulycy (AMERICA: Less safe. Less free. More broke.)
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To: 1raider1

I’ve got a better idea.

Airlines should offer minimal security flights for people who don’t want to be screened or profiled. Flight crews should be heavily armed and firearms considered carry on luggage.


22 posted on 01/04/2010 8:15:37 AM PST by cripplecreek (Seniors, the new shovel ready project under socialized medicine.)
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To: writer33

Very funny piece. But whatever measures the TSA and Homeland Security do come up with will probably be just as silly. This is what happens when you don’t take threats seriously.

Thanks for posting that piece. I needed a good laugh.


23 posted on 01/04/2010 8:15:58 AM PST by fatnotlazy
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To: 1raider1

>Flying to get somewhere is still a luxury we can do without. <

Tell that to the grieving family who is rushing to the opposite coast, desperate to beat their loved one’s impending death. Tell that to the businessman who is doing everything in his power to keep his company afloat, so hundreds more don’t lose their jobs.

While I agree that limiting flights to those absolutely necessary would go a long way to sending a message to this bunch of idiots in homeland “security”, I think you’re solution is wishful thinking at best.


24 posted on 01/04/2010 8:16:27 AM PST by Darnright (There can never be a complete confidence in a power which is excessive. - Tacitus)
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To: writer33

BTTT


25 posted on 01/04/2010 8:17:33 AM PST by E.G.C.
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To: Darnright

Correction, “I think you’re” should have been, “I think your”.


26 posted on 01/04/2010 8:18:07 AM PST by Darnright (There can never be a complete confidence in a power which is excessive. - Tacitus)
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To: fatnotlazy

Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading, fatnotlazy. I appreciate it.


27 posted on 01/04/2010 8:19:31 AM PST by writer33 (Rush Limbaugh Is "The Passion" of Conservatism And Pretty Good At That Radio Thingy)
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To: E.G.C.

Thanks for the bump, E.G.C.


28 posted on 01/04/2010 8:20:23 AM PST by writer33 (Rush Limbaugh Is "The Passion" of Conservatism And Pretty Good At That Radio Thingy)
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To: writer33
Don't get caught off guard with your pants down flying the unfriendly skies.

or is it . . . don't get caught with your pants up?

Liberals are so confusing.

29 posted on 01/04/2010 8:26:53 AM PST by Quix (POL Ldrs quotes fm1900 TRAITORS http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/religion/2130557/posts?page=81#81)
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To: writer33

Please don’t take offense, because I mean to praise you for this one, but this is one of your first efforts that has made me smile. :)


30 posted on 01/04/2010 8:34:35 AM PST by Lazamataz (America has been dead for a while; It's interesting to watch the cadaver cool.)
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To: K-oneTexas

I was on that flight, leaving Las Vegas, last night.

....Bob


31 posted on 01/04/2010 8:37:52 AM PST by Lokibob (When handed lemons...Refuse to sign for them. Life's lemons can't be delivered without a signature.)
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To: writer33

I thought that one of the priority new rules was that passengers would have to show up 8 hours ahead of time in order to be able to complete the four hours of

in class training in the

“UNDERWEAR WAVE” procedure.

And anyone not able to ‘wave’ their underwear—either in the down OR the up position

IN UNISON

would be automatically considered a terrorist and removed from the flight list.

However, I’ve been wrong before.


32 posted on 01/04/2010 8:39:50 AM PST by Quix (POL Ldrs quotes fm1900 TRAITORS http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/religion/2130557/posts?page=81#81)
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To: Lazamataz
Please don’t take offense

Too late. I'm uncontrollably sobbing in a corner now. LOL!

Seriously though, thank you for the nice comments. I do appreciate 'em. Usually, my stuff is too heavy.

33 posted on 01/04/2010 8:52:45 AM PST by writer33 (Rush Limbaugh Is "The Passion" of Conservatism And Pretty Good At That Radio Thingy)
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To: Quix
or is it . . . don't get caught with your pants up?

We definitely want the pants up. I am now not visualizing pants down. LOL!

34 posted on 01/04/2010 8:55:18 AM PST by writer33 (Rush Limbaugh Is "The Passion" of Conservatism And Pretty Good At That Radio Thingy)
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To: K-oneTexas

I think I did a flight like that while in the rock band!


35 posted on 01/04/2010 8:55:19 AM PST by LS ("Castles made of sand, fall in the sea . . . eventually." (Hendrix))
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To: writer33

Went to a nudist beach once to try and find more atheists for my dissertation questionnaires.

I agree with you. Up is better. Much better.


36 posted on 01/04/2010 9:06:34 AM PST by Quix (POL Ldrs quotes fm1900 TRAITORS http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/religion/2130557/posts?page=81#81)
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To: writer33
Almost, but not quite, completely satirical.

I like the idea of interrogating Sen Chucky.

37 posted on 01/04/2010 9:20:41 AM PST by wbill
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To: wbill

I bet you there are plenty that would line up to interrogate Sen. Chucky. Glad you enjoyed it though. Thanks for reading, wbill.


38 posted on 01/04/2010 9:29:25 AM PST by writer33 (Rush Limbaugh Is "The Passion" of Conservatism And Pretty Good At That Radio Thingy)
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To: writer33
No problem , I don't believe in underwear anyway.
What kind of fashion statement is something you wear no one sees?

Its pointless.

39 posted on 01/04/2010 9:29:46 AM PST by right way right
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To: right way right

You do have a point.


40 posted on 01/04/2010 9:34:20 AM PST by writer33 (Rush Limbaugh Is "The Passion" of Conservatism And Pretty Good At That Radio Thingy)
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