22 Million Bush White House E-Mails Found (BDS Lib Dream)

Western Hero ^ | 16 Dec 09 | Foutsc

[foutsc]

Dick Cheney Must Be Behind It!

Computer experts have recovered 22 million Bush White House e-mails previously thought lost or destroyed (22 million!) and Bush foes who had filed lawsuits to have them handed over are jubilant.

WASHINGTON (AP) - Computer technicians have found 22 million missing White House e-mails from the administration of President George W. Bush, according to two groups that are settling lawsuits they filed over the failure by the Bush White House to install an electronic record keeping system.

Bush haters have been devouring the e-mails like a pack of ravenous wolves.  One Cheney e-mail to the president has them particularly excited:

Well, George, I'm off to my secret, underground, undisclosed torture chamber.  Got a fresh shipment of jihadis in and I want to test out the new cattle prod.  The bullwhip just ain't cutting it anymore.  I want 'em pissin' their pants when I get my torture on!  Bwahahahahaha!  -- Dick

White House Manipulated Gas Prices

Other e-mail traffic reveals the source of the gasoline price spike in 2007:  President Bush accidentally bumped the secret dial under his desk that he used to control global petroleum prices.

He had purposely turned it down in 2004 to get reelected, then dialed it back up afterward to reward his Big Oil cronies.  But he apparently got excited while eavesdropping on an ordinary citizen's phone call to Sweden and slammed his knee into the dial.  The impact was so severe he had to give up mountain biking for a week. 

Despite that, he didn't realize what he'd done until campaign money began gushing in from corrupt oil companies with thank you notes attached.  The event prompted this e-mail to the energy secretary:

Hey Tater! Damn, still can't believe I did that...  Can we blame the gas price increase on France?  Just askin'  heh heh heh...  -- The Decider

More Embarrassing E-Mails

There are supposedly other embarrassing e-mails, including one where the former president compares Nancy Pelosi to a washed up drag queen and threatens to lasso Keith Olbermann and pull him behind his horse like Ben Cartwright did to a bad guy on a Bonanza episode.

It is also rumored that in one piquant missive, Vice President Cheney offered to "Butcher that fatass Michael Moore like the hog that he is," and unfavorably compared Senator John Kerry to a flaccid male appendage, but that has yet to be confirmed.

Don't believe me?  Go read the story here:  Breitbart

[writer33]

That’s right. I knew he was hiding something all along. And now America can finally get to the bottom of this.

[w1andsodidwe]

Apparently people in the Bush White House had a sense of humor.

[RummyChick]

what about Obama’s blackberry?

[boomop1]

LOL yep all those constituents, and democRat underground hate mails.

[writer33]

You’re right. I think we need to dig until it hurts.

[writer33]

Yep, bring out Court TV and the circus. We’ll get that conviction. LOL!

[Doomonyou]

Cheney is in trouble, he forgot the /sarc tag.

[Carley]

Had omarosa been hiding the emails in her caboose all this time?

[autumnraine]

Yeah, when can I sue the government for the Blackberry records?

[FlyVet]

I want to see the e-mails of the EPA and Generation Investment Management concerning global warming.

[writer33]

Had omarosa been hiding the emails in her caboose all this time?

Yep, time for body cavity searches!

[dila813]

22M “I hate Bush” emails from their website.

Give me a break, I hope they enjoy reading their own emails.

[BenLurkin]

Good news for Al Queda — and its allies.

[BenKenobi]

When can we expect Obama to release his?

Truth for thee and not for thine.