Posted on 09/19/2009 10:20:07 PM PDT by B-Chan
OK: here's why I got kicked out of the U.S. Navy, short version.
Autumn, 1984: I was a 4.0 (top-performing) sailor, a petty officer (NCO) right out of "A" School (Navy vocational training school), and was on the fast track to a great career as a naval nuclear power worker -- until I lost my marbles.
Summer, 1985: It happened while I was in Nuke School (Naval Nuclear Power School, then located in Orlando, Florida): the stress levels, lack of sleep, and physical environment of Rickover City triggered in me a full-on case of clinical depression, complete with physical symptoms (shingles, among others), psychotic episodes, the works. I called it "the Fog". I was bad off, doing all kinds of crazy stuff -- and no one noticed. Instead, they waited until my grades dropped below the requisite levels, then flunked me out and sent me to the Fleet.
Autumn, 1985: I reported for duty aboard the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise (CVN-65). Aboard ship, I started off doing well -- but soon enough the Fog began creeping in again. As any sailor knows, the danger of having someone with a severe untreated psychiatric condition aboard ship is extreme -- although I wasn't capable of deliberate violence against others, my inability to focus on (or often even understand) what was going on around me, combined with periodic out-of-my-freaking-mind episodes, could have gotten me and many others killed out there. I thank God that my guardian angel was on the job! Toward the end I was doing some truly strange things -- a licensed psychiatrist would have diagnosed me correctly in about ten seconds. I was, frankly, nuts.
Yet no one noticed.
January-February 1986: The ship departed the Golden Gate for her yearly western Pacific deployment, which soon became a round-the-world cruise due to a sudden flare-up of violence in the Mediterranean Sea. We made port at Pearl Harbor, then crossed the ocean to Subic Bay in the Philippines. My brief visit to Olangapo City, one of the world's most famous liberty ports, was an introduction to the sad (and sordid) realities of Real Life, but I left the P.I. with no harm done save to my moral state. We spent a few weeks dodging Russian recon planes in the South Pacific, then headed west towards the Straits of Malacca on our way to the Indian Ocean.
By the time we reached Singapore, however, the Fog had gotten too thick for me to see through; I was no longer capable of standing watches (working my normal hours) or dealing with the day-to-day routines of shipboard life. Instead, I would hide in the #4 shaft alley (ship's propeller shaft area) for hours on end out of fear. Finally, my LPO (job supervisor) sent me to sickbay (the ship's medical facility) for an evaluation. The Navy M.D. aboard ship classified me as a malingerer (a person who feigns illness in order to escape work) with an attitude problem. He also found a bad epidermal "fungal infection" (in reality, severe eczema) and assigned me to light duty in the ship's library. By then I was barely rational and totally out of control. On the advice of my shipmates in the library (who were more than understanding, God bless them), I filed a lengthy medical discharge request, which when read today is obviously the product of a deeply troubled person.
Denied, of course!
March-May 1985: The cruise continued; I carried on as best I could...
I’m glad you made it through. It’s a tough course — probably the toughest technical education in the world — but you passed it. Kudos.
Did your SNOB belt Buckle have the SACRED PAINT STAIN? (USS Atlanta SSN 712)
Oddly I was a malcontent yet I tried pretty hard to be the top student. The few that topped me made less silly mistakes. You are probably better off than I am now.
So in looking back, as a believer in Christ, rather than referencing depression in a worldly fashion as an orderly way of describing a state of mind, how would you describe “depression” as a Christian to other believers? (It’s cause, does it occur while in fellowship with Christ, or is it exacerbated by attempting to perform worldly good works in an attempt to glean approbation?)
I don't have a deep knowledge of medicine. As I understand based upon the lay materials on the subject that I've read, the psychiatric cause of depressive disorders lies in abnormal brain chemistry; coupled with psychological factors such as trauma, etc., these abnormalities cobine to produce the various symptoms of the disease. In other words, the science boys say that it's a combination of "hardware" damage and buggy "software". I'm sorry that I don't have a better answer.
does it occur while in fellowship with Christ
Yes. Just as many Christians have diabetes, many have depressive disorders. However, I can say from personal experience that faith in Jesus Christ can both comfort those who suffer from depression and make living with its symptoms possible. Had I not enjoyed the priceless boon of my own return to the Christian faith, I doubt seriously that I would be here today.
or is it exacerbated by attempting to perform worldly good works in an attempt to glean approbation?
I'm not sure what you mean here. I will say that performing corporal acts of charity (i.e. doing good works) does much to help me when I'm in the Fog. I've learned (contra Rand -- sorry, fellas!) that the only time I'm truly happy is when I am not thinking of myself and my own problems.
There’s sufficient online stff about
COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY . . . you could get far on your own.
See FREEPMAIL.
I posted some Bible Study notes which touch upon the topic, which are hard to find and only in hard copy.
Although originally copyrighted in 1989, the author recently passed away, promoted to be with the Lord, and the content is good for study purposes under an appropriate pastor-teacher while in fellowship with Christ.
They are part 1 of a 4 part series.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/2344068/posts
THANKS THANKS.
Thanks for the tip!
I’ll look into it. Thanks.
Sure.
Please keep me updated on your progress as you feel comortable doing so.
Thanks. And keep up the good fight as a GP. You guys/gals are doing God’s work.
No paint stain on ours (SSN-760 Annapolis)
> Thanks for the advice! I’ll check it out.
(grin!) You’re welcome. I salute you for bringing focus onto this issue with your experience. You will have done a great service in doing so.
You’re probably as aware of the various meds as I am, so I’m also posting this just in case there are others out there who are experiencing unpleasant side effects...
There are a whole swag of different antidepressants these days that your doctor can tap into: the days of Aropax-or-nothing are long past. While antidepressants tend to fall into one of two different categories — depending upon how they actually work — there is a vast range of difference between them and the way they can affect different individuals.
It can even make a difference whether you are using a branded-or-generic version of a drug, as I found out when switching from Aropax to its generic form Paroxitine. (The pharmacist may insist it won’t matter and that they are chemically identical, but it sometimes does matter and they are therefore obviously not identical — in my case I experienced stronger side-effects with the generic drug.)
So why am I saying all this? If you have Depression for Pete’s sake test-drive the various medications until you find one that a) treats your condition well and b) is comfortable for you to use and c) has minimal-or-no side effects.
It should be possible to find an excellent fit. Side effects are no fun at all: some of them can be really nasty, and it is probably unnecessary to suffer: just find another more suitable medication.
Antidepressants take a few weeks to “click in”, so be willing to invest some time into finding the right one for you. Believe me, it is time well spent: when you get the right one for you, it makes your life so much better.
Thanks for your essay. And it shows the truth of the statement, “Better Living through Chemistry”. Depression CAN be treated, and kept at bay, if it’s detected, and the person suffering from it can be convinced to access that treatment.
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