Lisa Marie MySpace Blog : "Michael (Jackson) was afraid He'd End Up Like my Father"

Lisa Marie's MYSPACE blog ^ | 6/26/2009 | Lisa Marie Presley

[SeekAndFind]

He Knew.

Years ago Michael and I were having a deep conversation about life in general.

I can't recall the exact subject matter but he may have been questioning me about the circumstances of my Fathers Death.

At some point he paused, he stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, "I am afraid that I am going to end up like him, the way he did."

I promptly tried to deter him from the idea, at which point he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded almost matter of fact as if to let me know, he knew what he knew and that was kind of that.

14 years later I am sitting here watching on the news an ambulance leaves the driveway of his home, the big gates, the crowds outside the gates, the coverage, the crowds outside the hospital, the Cause of death and what may have led up to it and the memory of this conversation hit me, as did the unstoppable tears.

A predicted ending by him, by loved ones and by me, but what I didn't predict was how much it was going to hurt when it finally happened.

The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his Autopsy.

All of my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell and right now I am gutted.

I am going to say now what I have never said before because I want the truth out there for once.

Our relationship was not "a sham" as is being reported in the press. It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people who did not live or know a "Normal life" found a connection, perhaps with some suspect timing on his part. Nonetheless, I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much.

I wanted to "save him" I wanted to save him from the inevitable which is what has just happened.

His family and his loved ones also wanted to save him from this as well but didn't know how and this was 14 years ago. We all worried that this would be the outcome then.

At that time, In trying to save him, I almost lost myself.

He was an incredibly dynamic force and power that was not to be underestimated.

When he used it for something good, It was the best and when he used it for something bad, It was really, REALLY bad.

Mediocrity was not a concept that would even for a second enter Michael Jackson's being or actions.

I became very ill and emotionally/ spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior and from the awful vampires and leeches he would always manage to magnetize around him.

I was in over my head while trying.

I had my children to care for, I had to make a decision.

The hardest decision I have ever had to make, which was to walk away and let his fate have him, even though I desperately loved him and tried to stop or reverse it somehow.

After the Divorce, I spent a few years obsessing about him and what I could have done different, in regret.

Then I spent some angry years at the whole situation.

At some point, I truly became Indifferent, until now.

As I sit here overwhelmed with sadness, reflection and confusion at what was my biggest failure to date, watching on the news almost play by play The exact Scenario I saw happen on August 16th, 1977 happening again right now with Michael (A sight I never wanted to see again) just as he predicted, I am truly, truly gutted.

Any ill experience or words I have felt towards him in the past has just died inside of me along with him.

He was an amazing person and I am lucky to have gotten as close to him as I did and to have had the many experiences and years that we had together.

I desperately hope that he can be relieved from his pain, pressure and turmoil now.

He deserves to be free from all of that and I hope he is in a better place or will be.

I also hope that anyone else who feels they have failed to help him can be set free because he hopefully finally is.

The World is in shock but somehow he knew exactly how his fate would be played out some day more than anyone else knew, and he was right.

I really needed to say this right now, thanks for listening.

~LMP

[cyborg]

What a tragic waste.

[joesjane]

I wish they would shut up!

[gatorhead]

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, I don’t give a rat’s ass.

[VicVega]

What she heard was "he stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, "I am afraid that I am going to end up like him, the way he did."

What he really said was "he stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, "I am afraid that I am gay Lisa and don't want to be with you any more."

[telebob]

Wow. The drama...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

[KansasGirl]

[I became very ill and emotionally/ spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior ]

Pedophilia?

[2banana]

Was Elvis a 50 year feminine metrosexual who changed the color of his skin and liked kids (not his own) to hand out in his bed drinking “Jesus juice?”

[Carry me back]

What are some of the really really bad things he used it for Lisa? OK clam up now

[RGSpincich]

"I am afraid that I am going to end up like him, the way he did."

Self-fulfilling prophecy alert.

[OCC]

and when he used it for something bad, It was really, REALLY bad.

Ok, her emphasis on this is downright creepy. The only thing bad I know he was accused of was molesting children. I guess he was guilty after all.

[caper gal 1]

I have to take an apparently contrarian and sympathetic view here in that both of these people had totally bizarre lives and childhoods in that they grew up in very strange worlds. For him, especially, with daily physical and mental abuse from his father. I believe they were attracted to each other for recognizing this - Lisa apparently was the more emotionally mature/less damaged of the two. Still, very sad to genuinely love someone you cannot save from themselves and their baggage.

Michael Jackson led a very sad life and I hope he rests in peace.

[annieokie]

That is exactly what I was thinking. I believe he thought himself as important as Elvis, and Wanted to die the same way. Self fulfilling is correct. Elvis will be remembered, not so with Wacko J.

[WorkingClassFilth]

Frankly, all this news about a weird and wasted life is too much. Many more people died today that were truly loved and did heroic things - Mr. Jackson was not one of them. May his tortured soul find some peace and may we hear no more of him and his life.

P.S. Please excuse this post - my ire is aimed at the press and the cultural stew of this person’s death.

[Snurple]

Didn’t Elvis die while taking a dump? Jacko was scared of dying on the crapper....who would have guessed that!

[Jrabbit]

They got married in case Mikey ended up going to trial on the first molestation case....make him “seem” normal. When he ended up paying off the kid, instead of going to trial, he didn’t need or want Lisa around anymore.

[KevinB]

He was an amazing person pervert.

Fixed.

[JerseyJohn61]

Yeah, I'd like to hear her elaborate on the
“really bad” things. He might not get as much
sympathy if she did.

JJ61

[hoosierham]

People tend to marry in their own social and economic group.Despite the insipid country music ,few women millionaires go to bars looking for a one-night cowboy to become their husband!The options are as limited in their own way for the wealthy or performers to find true love.If there is a big disparity in wealth or status,at least one if not both people ,and most of their friends and relatives,will fear the money was the reason for the marriage.

[caper gal 1]

I’m not defending Jackson’s behavior. I’m saying I think there was a genuine attraction to and mututal affection for two children who had bizarre childhoods and, face it, adult-hoods, who sought refuge in one another.