Obama Plan Would Pay Taliban and al Qaeda to Behave

A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 28 March 2009 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Citing intelligence warning that al Qaeda is plotting new attacks on the US from safe havens within Pakistan, President Barack Obama unveiled what he characterized as “a bold and innovative new plan” for dealing with America’s enemies. Basically, we will pay them to behave themselves. Under his plan, the US will funnel an additional $1.5 billion a year to the Pakistani government for them to use to purchase the good behavior of hostile elements within their borders.

The President said he has great confidence in this approach “because it has worked for me in the past. As a kid growing up I found that by paying relatively small amounts of money to the right people I could avoid being injured. Similarly, I discovered that a modest amount of money placed in the right hands worked wonders in Chicago politics.”

Pakistan's president, Asif Ali Zardari, praised Obama’s call for congress to authorize what he termed “an annual protection stipend.” “We have used this approach ourselves to help divert hostilities elsewhere,” Zardari declared. “Without the regular payments to al Qaeda, it could’ve been Islamabad that was attacked last year, rather than Mumbai. However, demands have been escalating and we are running low on funds. This new infusion of cash is much needed.”

[flowerplough]

On April 7, 1965, President Lyndon Johnson delivered his first major speech on the war in Vietnam. Opposition to the war had been growing as a result of Operation Rolling Thunder, an expanded U.S. bombing campaign against the North Vietnamese that began the previous month. LBJ ordered his staff to compose an address that would appease his detractors. In the speech Johnson, attempted to do what he had done so successfully throughout his long and colorful political career — make a deal.

The president announced plans for an ambitious $1 billion development program along the vast Mekong River that would benefit not only Vietnam, but all of Southeast Asia. The program was intended as an offer to North Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh. Flying back to Washington after the speech, Johnson confidently predicted to his press secretary, Bill Moyers, “…old Ho can’t turn me down.” But the next day, Ho did just that.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/amex/presidents/36_l_johnson/l_johnson_foreign.html

[Uncle Meat]

Nothing short of “Allah” himself coming down on a cloud telling them to make friends with the U.S. will cause them to reverse course.

That wouldn't work.They're beyond that.They'd accuse Allah of being an infidel and would try and kill him too.