Grumbles the Bear Flees My Cuckoo's Nest

Feed Your ADHD ^ | 2/29/2009 | Dr. Dave

[bloodmeridian]

Grumbles the Polar Bear knocked on the door last night (I’d told him to avoid ringing the bell, after that nastiness in February when the Secret Service visited).

He’d suffered a particularly harsh winter at the North Pole, with no electricity and little to eat (except Bias Jones) and that brief, disruptive vacation in D.C. when the loony climate-change protesters decried the end of civilization while a foot of snow fell on their heads…and he’d felt compelled to eat as many of their unwashed sycophant hides as possible.

He needed warmth, hospitality, and a kind, conservative family to give him shelter and comfort as he prepared for the shortest summer he expected to know (what with the polar cap not shrinking, the oceans not rising, and the end of the world not kicking in until Congress passes b. Hussein’s $4 trillion budget request for 2010).

It was the damnedest winter in the “global warming” era Grumbles had ever seen, cold enough even to freeze the nuts off a bear with body fat 11-cm thick -- the equivalent of a memory foam pillow or Jennifer Lopez's thighs.