Posted on 03/25/2009 7:26:37 AM PDT by Notoriously Conservative
I don't know the status of parenting in America. But I know a little about the status of education in America. Parents' growing inability to impose manners and limits on their kids when the kids are in school is reflected in record dropout rates, as well as teen drug and alcohol abuse, teen sex, and unwed pregnancies. Maybe it's parenting that's on the decline, more than the schools.
Exhibit A: My wife and I have just been seated for dinner when the maitre d' walks over and seats a young family at the table next to us and the kids start carrying on like orangutans on a leash.
The parents are going, "Timmy, that's not nice, don't throw your food, stop stuffing your mashed potatoes up your nose." Are mom and dad having fun yet, picking food up off the floor, apologizing to people like us, and wiping food flung across the table off their faces?
Some parents still have this attitude that their kids are too special to be burdened by discipline. And the rest of us are supposed to put up with their little mutants. That attitude really pisses me off.
I hate to break it to them, but the kids aren't special, and I don't have to put up with their behavior. If you can't control your obnoxious little brats, leave them home.
They don't belong out in public annoying other people, period. I don't remember a generation of kids ever so indulged and enabled to behave so badly. What's going on?
I remember as a kid I was expected to behave myself out in public or suffer the wrath of one very angry father. And of all the things that used to piss him off, those expectations didn't seem unreasonable. Something's gone terribly wrong here. My guess is it has to do...
(Excerpt) Read more at notoriouslyconservative.com ...
I’m with you on swat on the behind. The problem is now a days they will put you in jail for that.I know it is stupid but that is what happens especially in a public place.It all has to start early in life .One good little spanking when they miss behave and as the get older they really don’t want that .After a while all you have to do is lift your eyebrow.
Just you wait till I find my teeth, young’un...
Seriously, doesn’t every generation say this about the next? I have it on authority that my Dad was a HOLY TERROR as a kid, but apparently he was the only one. All other kids growing up during that time period were saints, begotten by bigger saints that like to beat them with bricks, and that’s the way you do it. Why, we had to eat gravel and beans twice a day and you know what? WE LOVED IT.
etc, etc, etc...
I absolutely go batty when I’m in a store and Mommy says something like:
“Time to go Timmy! Let’s go. (all said in a lilting tone). Let’s go! Come on! I’ll count to 3 — 1-2-—— let’s go. We have to leave! Come on — I’m leaving at the count of 3! 1-2-3 -— Let’s go! Timmy -— we have to leave!” etc,etc,etc————
AARRGGGGHHHH!
Kids need/want limits! It is a real pleasure, when in a restaurant, and the kids behave. In any adult situation, and the kids behave, brings compliments from me.
Hey, did I write that??
I'm not sure of the age of the children to which the article refers, but you're correct. I have three kids - 9, almost 3, and 18 months. A parent obviously can't hold the 18 month old to the same standard as the 9 year old.
Now... if the article is talking about 4-5 year olds, that's another story entirely.
Ping to one of our conversation topics.
I can’t say I did things perfectly, but they did behave in public. It only took one outburst and they were taken directly home. It only took one time to be taken home in the middle of an activity. I’m not saying they were not hell on wheels at home, but in public they knew if they wanted to continue with the trip or meal they better keep it together. The look on their face as they were rooted from the scene was priceless.
So let me ask a question. If you suspected your kid was going to act out, would you take them to a decent restaurant?
My kids ate at home for much of their early years. I also found that mothers were more likely to take their animals....er children to public places where they could act out. Generally: Men expect discipline from their kids. Women expect tolerance from others. Not all the time but as a rule.
It’s a short throw from “He’s a child. What do you expect?” to “The policeman should have tried to just wound him”.
I had 3 boys (stair steps, they were all around 2 years apart). I took them places by myself even when they were at the toddler stage. They behaved. If my 2 year old was crying and annoying people, I removed him from the situation. The fact that I decided to be a parent should not have been a burden on anyone else.
I never had to beat them senseless.
Taking care of my Dad who is in his 90s now is the best way I can thank him for kicking me in the ass when I needed it.
I didn't know what Bab-o was at the time...but I knew I didn't want whatever it was it wouldn't wash off.
To dinoparty: As far as our memories compared to their's...to some extent I agree...but I think if you look at society as a whole...and the lack of respect shown by kids...a greater % of kids (by far) are disrespectful little monsters today than they were 30 years ago.
I also think it isn't just kids but young adults. They don't respect clergy or law enforcement officials like they used to. We are teaching today's kids that it is all about them...and that they need to do what makes them happy. It's not...and they don't.
Of course, I raised my kids a few years back, but I didn’t really have to spank them in public. They got the look, and they knew they were in it big. I think it’s what you do at home that really guides their behavior in public.
I have to say the thing I hate most to hear is parents BEGGING their children, or asking in a passive voice things like “Don’t you think you should stop doing (whatever it is their doing)?” Small children learn very quickly whose in charge. If it’s them, you are sunk.
My daughter is in college and still talks about “the look” I would give them if they were getting a bit out of hand. I had no idea “the look” really worked that well. But my daughter did a little babysitting in the church nursery and said one child was wild and always upsetting everyone and she tried “the look” on him and it worked.....
It really does seem worse now. And interestingly, I have friends who teach preschool who say that the past several years EVERY year the kids coming in are worse than the year before. I think the problem is a culture that focuses on kids so much.
When I was a kid (I’m going on 49) both my parents didn’t hestitate to smack me if I acted up. My dad also had his belt-although merely unbuckling it-as a warning- usually sufficed.
I went to Cleveland Public Schools-many of the elem. school teachers would shake the hell out of you-one or two would slap the snot out of you. In Jr. High almost all the teachers had paddles, and if you did something-even for not paying attention-you got swatted.
I lived in a fairly poor, fairly tough area, so it was fairly common to get in a fistfight-on the playground or after school-and I wasn’t a bully or a victim-those two groups got in a lot more fights.
The kicker is-at 17, after graduation, I joined the Marine Corps. Before I left for Parris Island, relatives, former teachers, buddies, all said “Hey , you sure you want to do that? It’s a mighty tough life in the Marines”
I said “Hell, they’re Going to pay me $419 (*) a month-I’ve been giving it away for free!”
(*) before taxes
The author is clueless! First he laments the lack of discipline in children today, and then he says spanking isn't acceptable!!
Obviously a Spockian bozo.
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