Obama Administration Raises US Stature By Offering World Leaders Cheap Novelty Gifts (satire)

The Powers That Be ^ | 3-7-09 | Doug Powers

[WrightOnTarget]

MOSCOW (PNN): Following through on a campaign promise to raise the stature of the United States in the eyes of nations that view America unfavorably after eight years of George W. Bush, the Obama Administration has dispatched Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on a worldwide tour intended to unclench the fists of nations the US has treated poorly by offering them cheap, plastic novelty gifts.

First stop: Moscow

This week, Clinton gave her Russian counterpart a plastic box sporting a "reset" button, symbolic of the Obama Administration's willingness to reset relations with Moscow.

Here is the novelty item Secretary Clinton presented to the Russian government:

President Obama is calling his world peace initiative "Gags, Gifts, Peace."

A spokesperson for Secretary Clinton told reporters, "This program is sure to make the world more peaceful. Just think of how many lives could have been saved if only somebody would have made an effort to present Osama Bin Laden with a stress ball with one of those yellow smiley faces on it. That's the strategic thinking behind 'Gags, Gifts, Peace'."

[chuck_the_tv_out]

the crackpots are in charge now. dopers/hippies/assorted weirdos. expect lots more stuff like this.

[allmost]

:)

[attiladhun2]

What a bunch of lick spittles the Mama O administration is turning out to be. You’d think with all the Russian speakers at Foggy Bottom, they would have at least translated “reset” correctly. What it says in Ruskie is “overcharge.” Unfortunately, that is what this administration is going to do to us.

[autumnraine]

I want to know

A)Who came up with this ridiculous idea to give RUSSIA a little plastic “reset” button

B)Who said “Hey, that’s a great idea! And we’ll make a big show of it. Cameras, put it in a little box with a bow, the works! We’ll even put “Reset” in English and Russian

C)Who decided Babelfish was as good a place as any to get a translation. Probably the same person who would go to Wikipedia to get information for Obama’s speeches.

D)Is there ANYONE in this administration ANYWHERE that has a lick of sense?

I, an uneducated hick mountain girl, can look at this and see this is embarassing beyond belief. I feel like I’m watching Michael do something horrific on The Office and I just want to hide my face and groan and think “Oh God, no , please, no he didn’t” except it’s my President and Secretary of State.

DVD’s and Plastic buttons as gifts for dignitaries. Good God!

[George Smiley]

And a close look at the "reset" button indicates that whoever created it lacked the competence to find a Brother P-Touch that printed in Cyrillic.

Эти люди действительно имеют их головки вверх по их ишакам.

[tsmith130]

I'm confused...do ya push it or turn it?

[Philo-Junius]

It’s hard to imagine a more amateurish conceit or execution. Never mind botching the translation, who dealing with the Russians doesn’t know their language uses Cyrillic?

[2harddrive]

O ne

B ig

A ss

M istake

A merica!

[Zack Attack]

Push I think. Don’t those arrows mean its recyclable or something? *LOL*

[George Smiley]

I'm guessing that you have to turn it before you can push it.

It looks like a variant of what we call "The Big Red Button" [emergency power shutoff, which sometimes also activates the Halon fire suppression system] that exists in every datacenter, frequently inside of the datacenter and right next to the main entrance/exit, because you very well might be getting your ass out of there in a hurry, depending upon what's going on.

In the datacenters where the planners had common sense, there are plastic covers called "Molly guards" (yes, I linked to the etymology of this term, it's worth peeking at) you have to flip up, or some other sort of safeguard to keep them from accidentally getting hit, as the cost of bringing up several hundred servers, doing restores when necessary, and replacing Halon if that system kicks off is somewhere at a level beyond considerable and somewhere below the national debt.

In the other scenario, there are really funny stories you can read online (go to the comments section for the real laughers) about misadventures that occurred when the button got pushed when it shouldn't have.

[Oldpuppymax]

A Ron Popiel White House! And the Amazing Ronco insult-a-dignitary, knife sharpener and pocket flashlight!

[EDINVA]

At the rate they’re going, this crowd will hold a pig roast when King Abdullah comes to the White House.

[no-s]

Considering the last SoS ( C. Rice ) was fluent in 5 languages and played classical piano for relaxation...No, it’s too much.

[tsmith130]

In total, it took three milliseconds for the kid to run over and push the Big Red Button, and over seventy-two hours for the system administrators to fully restore the virtual systems to their previous states from backup.

Comment stories are great too!

[tsmith130]

Condi would have known. ;o)

[dila813]

Genus Strategy, if she was dealing with another Lilly livered left wing feminist, but she ain’t.

[Philo-Junius]

Message delivered:

“We’re such a bunch of morons that every agreement you think you had with us, and every issue you thought we had resolved is now up for review and renegotiation, because we don’t know the tiniest thing about your quaint and exotic country.”

[Tijeras_Slim]

Like every Obama program you insert it fully then twist.

[ViLaLuz]

What an idiot.