--The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Posted on 01/20/2009 10:55:43 AM PST by annalex
The leopard is only as fast as the rearmost of his tail.
The wisest man in the village is only as wise as his goats are fat.
Keep you kalebasa wet and it will last a long time.
The rich man keeps his goats in the barn only so long as he keeps my sharp stick out of his rib cage.
The moon is the herdsman. The stars are his goats. The sun is the leopard who is hungry at dawn.
My lawyers are eager to send you my many TREASURE.
If you talk to women, don't refuse to sample their yoghurt.
Only a fool burns a village with his wife in it.
Accept hospitality but keep your kalebasa full.
A warrior who relies on stealth is afraid of stepping into a chicken coop, but a warrior who runs with a sharp stick enjoys the ruckus.
It takes a man to burn a village, but it takes a woman to cook the chickens
A wise man has a sharp mind, but a warrior has a sharp stick.
The gazelle comes to the water to drink, and the leopard, to eat.
When antelopes are audacious, hyenas are hopeful.
If your friend is hurt, bandage his wound, take his wife and adopt the children that look healthy.
A hunter-gatherer is able to do more than one thing at a time
A hunter goes out and samples the yoghurt of many women, but when he comes home, a heavy carcass is on his back.
The longing for female companionship is like a sharp stick in the belly of a boar.
A hunter who learned how to read is like a leopard who learned how to lay eggs. Reading broadens the mind and omelets diversify the diet.
When victorious in a war, consider adopting the orphans that look healthy.
If you did not distinguish yourself in battle, you don't get to hack the wounded.
Children of a hunter are like lizards on top of a hot rock: they hide when a stranger approaches to sample their mother's yoghurt.
Never underestimate the resilience of children.
The kidneys of an old man are bitter because of the wisdom that comes with age.
If a scorpion is in your ear, don't go to a snake charmer to have it removed.
A vain woman puts sticks in her hair till birds come to nestle on her head.
Don't carry cheese in your loincloth and you won't be bothered by rats at night.
White children are beguiling and often very tender.
It takes a village to raise a white child
Race is only skin deep. The internal organs look the same.
A leopard on two legs is still faster than a turkey on four.
If you want a breast, don't pull on a leg.
A man and his wife are like a lion and a hyena pulling at the carcass together: he pulls at the leg and she drags out the bowels, and both are satisfied.
Pull many legs, but don't grab too many ankles.
You can only grasp one set of ankles at a time
A philosopher said: -- This monkey has four hands. No, another philosopher replied, -- this monkey has four feet. -- Thank you for your insights, the monkey replied and ran up the tree.
Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
I am glad so many people can share the wit and wisdom of our ancestors. Please go on.
Memories are like a piece of flint at the tip of the sharp stick. No matter how fast the warrior runs, the little thing is just out of reach.
Even a man with thirty goats is not always happy.
“The ox is slow, but the earth is patient.”
“Man who goes to sleep with itchy butt wakes up with stinky finger.”
Maybe it was Confucius who said that.
Teacher!
Tie your own loincloth, and the students will fight for the honor to wrap the turban for you.
Leave no child behind. That way, you will have plenty of them when you reach your destination.
As you visit a woman, hang your loincloth outside and it will attract the flies out of the hut.
“Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.”
A man made mud and mixed the straw and built the hut. “You did not build it”, sad the wise man.
A warrior came and killed the man, and took his wife and lived in the hut. “You do not live here” said the wise man.
The rain came and took the hut down. The warrior ran away to live in a tree, and the jackal killed the rest and ate them.
Nobody built that hut, son.
The early bird gets the worm. The early worm is not so fortunate.
Children of a gatherer eat worms and become cowardly like birds. Children of a hunter eat from the belly of an antelope and become happy like hyenas.
I wept that I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. Then I stole his shoes. Hey, he didn’t need them!
The rich man has two feet to put his shoes on.
And he has two hands to defend them.
Think, young man. Think.
keepalive
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