Millions Prepare For Orgasm During Obama Speech

Elective Decisions ^ | 1/19/09 | Chris Davis

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Washington—In what could likely put Playboy magazine out of business, millions of Americans are preparing to achieve orgasm during Barack Obama’s inauguration speech tomorrow. The abundant frenzy—expected upward of 20 million—would be unprecedented in American history, dwarfing the two or three million orgasms on Election Night.

Obama’s speech, “Great Expectations,” is reportedly expected to run 17 minutes long—a period of time which is sure to leave millions writhing and undulating in sheer bliss.

The Pew Center for research has reported that 90 percent of women, and 85 percent of liberal men, expect to achieve climax in the final thrust of Obama’s campaign speech, leaving many with “Great Expectations” of their own.

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Thanks for reading, primatreat. I appreciate it.

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Thanks for reading, tacticalogic. I appreciate it. Enjoy class tomorrow. I would.

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Oh, really? Mr. Davis needs to learn the art of subtlety. This is "satire" of the sort that a teen-aged boy might write.

That's because Mr. Davis sucks at this.

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Thanks for reading, Valentine. I appreciate it.

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Now I know why Rush always said, “Don’t try this at home...”

Indeed. We'll remind Chris of that one.

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Thanks for reading, ST. I appreciate it. Glad you enjoyed it.

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Thanks for the bump, Centurion2000. I appreciate it.

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Thanks for reading, Rio. I appreciate it.

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Thanks for reading, IrishPennant. I appreciate it.

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Thanks for reading, Nateman. I appreciate it.

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Thanks for reading muawiyah. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

At least fake an Obasm. :-)

Thanks for reading, Texas Eagle. I appreciate it.

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Thanks for reading, Republic. I appreciate it.

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Thanks for reading, stentorian conservative, and for your husband serving in defense of liberty. I appreciate it both.

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Thanks for reading, Beowulf9. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

Watching grass in slow motion would be an improvement over an Obama Inauguration.

Thanks for reading, Julia. I appreciate it.

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Thanks for reading, Tax Relief. I appreciate it. Glad you enjoyed it.

[writer33]

Tivo it. You don’t want to miss this orgasm. :-)

Thanks for reading, dware. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

So true. Perfect additions to the thread. Thanks for reading and posting, SORT. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

Thanks for reading. I appreciate it, and sleep well.

:-)