Sorry Ricky Martin, but Women Shouldn't Create Single Parent Households--and You Shouldn't Either

GlennSacks.com ^ | 8/21/08 | Glenn Sacks

[PercivalWalks]

I've long criticized the Single Motherhood by Choice movement for ignoring the importance of fathers and the two-parent family. Now singer Ricky Martin has decided to have motherless children. From Ricky Martin Father of Twin Boys Via Surrogate Mother (Associated Press, 8/20/08):

There won't be much "livin' la vida loca" for Ricky Martin these days -- he's now the father of twin boys.

The Latin superstar had the children via a surrogate mother, and the babies were born a few weeks ago, according to a statement from his representatives.

"The children, delivered via gestational surrogacy, are healthy and already under Ricky's full-time care," said the statement. "Ricky is elated to begin this new chapter in his life as a parent and will be spending the remainder of the year out of the public spotlight in order to spend time with his children."

A representative said there was no further information on the details of the children's birth.

Martin, 36, is a multiplatinum singer who is best known for English-language hits like "She Bangs!" and "Livin' la Vida Loca." In recent years, the Puerto Rican star has been active in charitable efforts, including the prevention of sexual exploitation of children.

It is nice to see a father being portrayed positively, as Martin is. And I can certainly understand his hesitance to have children through marriage, since the mother could divorce him and push him to the margins of his children's lives on her whim. Nevertheless, children need mothers just like they need fathers, and the two-parent family is what's best for kids.

I disagree with Martin's decision--children need both a mother and a father. There has been wide speculation that Martin is gay, which he denies. If he is gay, that changes the issue a bit.

Martin says, "I love women and sex. I am a real hot-blooded Puerto Rican, but have never been attracted by sex with a man."

To learn more about the problems with the Single Motherhood by Choice movement, see:

1) My co-authored column Are Single Mothers the 'New American Family?' (World Net Daily, 9/28/06)

2) My debate on Fox's nationally-syndicated Morning Show with Mike and Juliet -- to watch, click here.

3) My co-authored column Why Dads Matter (Houston Chronicle, 6/18/06)

4) My column Raising Boys Without Men: Lesbian Parents Good, Dads Bad (World Net Daily, 9/10/05)

Glenn Sacks, www.GlennSacks.com

[Note: If you or someone you love is faced with a divorce or needs help with child custody, child support, false accusations, Parental Alienation, or other family law or criminal law matters, ask Glenn for help by clicking here.]

[fr_freak]

You know, while that may occasionally be true, in most of the cases I’ve known of bad divorces/crazy spouses, I could see before the marriage that the person was nuts or a bad match or just not someone anyone should be marrying.

Consider yourself blessed with an ability that not everyone has, especially when it comes to men. I know a couple of guys who simply are incapable of recognizing deceit or falseness in a woman in the same way that some colorblind people cannot see red or green. Telling these guys that they should see through the facade is like telling a colorblind person that he is simply not looking hard enough.

It may be difficult for someone like you, for whom it may be second nature to pick up on all the non-verbal cues that would reveal the difference between the image a woman wants to project and the true image, to understand how a guy may be incapable of seeing through the falseness, but, believe me, I have seen this in action. In one particular instance, I tried my best to talk a guy out of marrying a woman who, to me, was an obvious fraud and would only use him as a meal ticket (she had kids already from previous...er...relationships).

Not only could he not see what I was talking about, but he become almost violently indignant whenever I brought the subject up. That is how fully snookered he was, and it wasn't because she was a bombshell or anything like that. It was simply because he very much wanted to find a woman to love and love him, and this lying whore had him convinced that she was the one. Even after she began stealing from him (after they were married), he still couldn't believe that she wasn't fully in love with him. It really hurt me to watch this unfold, because I saw it coming almost from their first date, but I guarantee you that it was love, or more correctly, the desire for love, that drove him rather than some mindless lust.

It may be easy to dismiss the bad choices some men make as merely "thinking with the wrong head", but I guarantee you that love is a far more dangerous intoxicant than lust will ever be, especially when in a man who doesn't have the ability to discern all of the emotional complexities that are second nature to women.

[brytlea]

Being female I certainly can’t say I understand the male mind, altho being a mother of boys I perfectly understand that they do have the desire and need to be loved. I also know that there are people out there who are not good at reading people, but honestly, many of those who have had bad experiences with *crazy* spouses or significant others will say, after the fact, that they IGNORED things because they didn’t want to believe them. I don’t think there are any more crazy/mean/etc women than there are crazy/mean/etc men. It would be nice if the they would only find and marry each other and leave all us nice folks alone!
susie

[Clemenza]

Ricky Martin is a flaming bundle of sticks.

[Bob J]

There’s an old saying, women marry men hoping they’ll change, men marry women hoping they don’t change.

Both end up disappointed.

;-}

[brytlea]

I dunno, I’m happier with my husband than I was when I married him!
susie

[Bob J]

Good for you!

[brytlea]

Good for him....hehehe
Of course, I’ve only had him for 32 years, so time will tell.... ;)
susie