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DUmmie FUnnies 06-13-08 ("Obama's astrological chart")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 13, 2008 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/13/2008 6:17:23 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

The FUnniest thing about this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Obama's astrological chart," isn't so much the subject matter as the fact that it was posted in the DUmmie Presidential forum. Normally such astrological analysis is posted in their Astrology forum but I guess enough DUmmies take astrology so seriously that this was allowed in the much busier Presidential forum. So let us now watch the DUmmies take the divining properties of chunks of mud and rock whirling through the ether in complete seriousness while the commentary of your humble correspondent, waiting for a prognostication of the election via analyzing chicken entrails, is in the [barackets]:

Obama's astrological chart

[Where the moon rises in Uranus.]

It's like a road map and a good astrologer can read what to watch out for and the best times to take advantages of oportunities to name a couple things. And, it's only as good as the astrologer one has.

[An astrologer who is a certified graduate of Kook U.]

There's a forum established for discussing this faith ("Spirituality") without "ridicule" or critical examination, but GD:P isn't it.

[No, no. General Discussion: Presidential is the PERFECT place for this astrology thread.]

Obama is a Leo, great sign for leadership

[I once knew a Jason Leo-pold.]

I've got a bucket of chicken guts that proves this chart wrong.

[HERETIC!!!]

Apparently the astrological community has reached some level of concensus about the meaning of chiron because a lot of astrologers have been including it in their charts lately. Some astrologers do include other minor bodies in the solar system in their charts in attemp to derive the meaning if any. Most bodies in the solar system haven't been known long enough for astrologers to have settled on a meaning yet.

[I'm guessing that a meeting of the "astrological community" would look like a New Age version of the bar scene in Star Wars.]

Chiron, from what I've been told... represents the "Wounded Healer" archtype.

[Silly me. All this time I thought it represented the LIGHTWORKER "archtype."]

Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto have interpretations that are very similar to Mercury, Venus, and Mars respectively. The "ancients" didn't know those planets existed, and Saturn was considered to be the outermost planet -- hence several of its interpretations (restriction, boundaries, limitations, karma). When people started interpreting the outer planets, it seems like they interpreted them to be of similar energies to the inner planets, but "a higher octave" in the words of an astrology buff I know.

[So astrological predictions were fined tuned to "a higher octave" by Uranus?]

Barack has Mars and Pluto in his seventh house. The seventh house is relationships and partnerships. Mars usually is associated with anger and passion, Pluto with sex, death, rebirth, transformation, psychotherapy, "intense" energy. Mars and Pluto are both in Virgo, but the sign that an outer planet is in is generally not as important as the house. Virgo energy is hard-working, perfectionism.

[So what house does Barack keep Uranus in?]

In my experience, I've used astrology over the last 40 years as a relationship tool. The personality traits may seem generalized, but I find them true to form. Put a bunch of us Cancers together and you'll hear a lot of, "can I get you anything?" "are you comfortable?" along with tea and sympathy.

HOROSCOPES are a whole other ball game. What you see in the newspaper is ENTERTAINMENT. You can't "tell the future" with astrology.

[A DUmmie sets us straight. Horoscopes are fake but astrology is the real deal.]

I believe in astrology to some extent... from my own personal studies of over 25 years. Big changes in life can be predicted by the aspects of Saturn. It takes @ 28 years to orbit your chart. It is a stern professor. Mars is a planet of energy. You may procrastinate and put off decisions but when Mars is in the right aspect, you will act on your decisions. Venus is a planet of emotions and love. Your eye will wander when Venus is in your Sun sign. Mercury is the planet of communications, which at the present is in retrograde in Gemini, and will go forward around the 20th of this month. You can write and communicate better under good aspects of Mercury.

[You only believe in astrology "to some extent?" It sounds like you've swallowed it hook, line, and sinker.]

Since I've been appying astrology to my life since the early '80's, it's been very helpful in analyzing why I did certain things in my past and how to change things I didn't like about myself. It's really been invaluble to me but I know it's obviously not for everyone.

[Apparently it didn't help you change your incredible gullibility.]

That would be interesting! I need to find out when and what time and where he was born

[Why don't you check Obama's "birth certificate" now online? It has been authenticated by Dan Rather.]

Are there any peer-reviewed scientific journals verifying the mechanism by which astrology functions? If there were, most if not all of the people who are criticizing this thread would come around.

[Hey, just check your own DUmmie Astrology forum for verifying the mechanism by which astrology functions.]

I have heard some astrologers refer to Chiron as the missing piece of the puzzle, and I will it admit that it's inclusion in my chart points to a significant event in my childhood that was not indicated anywhere else in the chart.

[Elron (Hubbard) pointed to significant events in Tom Cruise's childhood.]

My astrologer told me last week that they had a new birth time on Senator Obama and that he was actually Aquarius Rising and not Scorpio Rising as first thought. She seemed to indicate that Leo with Aquarius Rising was more fortuitous for Senator Obama's work. That would also change the houses that the planets fall in his chart.

[Did your astrology also tell you that they had a new birth "certificate" on Senator Obama?]

This woman is a true authority and she was excited about him being Aquarius Rising. She thought that the power structure was going to try everything possible to stop him. And she really got an ominous tone on that point. But she felt that We, The People would say enough. We are moving from a Saturn influence to a Mercury phase.

[While skipping Uranus?]

In Chinese astrology 1961 would be the year of the Ox.

[In Hebrew astrology 1961 would be the year of the Lox.]

Venus in Cancer is also obvious -- I recall earlier discussions here about how Obama tends to exhibit more "feminine" characteristics in his approach to politics than Hillary Clinton does. He really DOES care -- and in the 5th house (the natural home of Leo), that care and nurturing extends to the larger group and his place in that group as a responsible leader giving of himself for the greater good.

[Even more than the Breck Girl?]

And until the materialists can scientifically explain what existed BEFORE the "Big Bang" then I submit that we are on equal grounds in terms of defining "reality".

[NOTHING existed BEFORE the "Big Bang" because time itself didn't exist. BTW, I found the Nova program last night about Einstein's discoveries about Time, Matter, and Energy to be much more interesting than whether the moon is rising in Uranus.]

There is no "before" the big bang. Space-time comes to a singularity at that particular point. There is not before, above, to the left of, or anything of the sort, because those dimensions exist within and are defined by the universe.

[I'm still wrestling with the concept that EVERYTHING in the universe began in something much much smaller than an atom. Much more fascinating than astrology.]

I've also heard you can learn a lot about a person by reading the residue of their butt candles.

[Ben Burch dreams of candles rising in Uranus.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: astrology; barackobama; dummies
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To: PJ-Comix
the best times to take advantages of oportunities to name a couple things.

When is the best time to mention B.O.'s middle name?

21 posted on 06/13/2008 7:10:14 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Third Barack from the Sun.)
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To: PJ-Comix
And, it's only as good as the astrologer one has.

IOW, it's worthless.

22 posted on 06/13/2008 7:11:21 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Third Barack from the Sun.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Oh for Heaven’s sake!

These people can vote?!?

I wouldn’t want them to walk my dogs! (and my dogs probably wouldn’t either).

Come to think of it, I wouldn’t want them to pick up my dogs’ crap. They might ‘see’ something in it...(aside from the various ribbons, wrappers, and couch material that are normally there....)

Sheesh. Thanks, PJ. If it weren’t for you we wouldn’t know...

K.


23 posted on 06/13/2008 7:12:38 AM PDT by KitJ (Shall Not Be Infringed)
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To: PJ-Comix
"Put a bunch of us Cancers together and you'll hear a lot of, "can I get you anything?" "are you comfortable?"
Well, I'm a Cancer, and when I'm around other Cancers I know, the most heard line is; "get me another beer."

24 posted on 06/13/2008 7:12:53 AM PDT by gate2wire
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To: PJ-Comix
There's a forum established for discussing this. . . .

It's called, "The Looney Bin."

But then, come to think of it, anywhere in DUmmieland would fit the bill.

25 posted on 06/13/2008 7:13:31 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Third Barack from the Sun.)
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To: bcsco
Woo-Hoo, top 25! :-)

Now to read the DUmmies comments

26 posted on 06/13/2008 7:16:45 AM PDT by Condor51 (I have guns in my nightstand because a Cop won't fit)
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To: vharlow
I just got banned from DU. I don’t even know what I did? You can’t be a member HERE I guess..... because I was polite.

Check this out, link on my next comment. It gives the tips on being a successful mole or troll on Skins's island. Maybe when reading, you might discover where you slipped up. And good luck to you, sir; anything that discombobulates the primitives is a Service to Humanity.

27 posted on 06/13/2008 7:18:41 AM PDT by franksolich (Scourge of the Primitives)
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To: franksolich

http://duhlandadventures.freeweb-hosting.org/moletips.html


28 posted on 06/13/2008 7:19:08 AM PDT by franksolich (Scourge of the Primitives)
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To: PJ-Comix
Obama is a Leo. . . .

Obama is a Leon--as in, Trotsky.

29 posted on 06/13/2008 7:22:14 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Third Barack from the Sun.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I've got a bucket of chicken guts that proves this chart wrong.

Careful, you'll get the PETAphiles in DUmmieland after you.

30 posted on 06/13/2008 7:24:12 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Third Barack from the Sun.)
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To: PJ-Comix
the astrological community

The Astrological-American community.

31 posted on 06/13/2008 7:25:29 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Third Barack from the Sun.)
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To: vharlow

>>I just got banned from DU.<<<

Ha, I am going on eight times this year. I have no dicipline. I always out myself.

The last time, I mentioned something about working hard and being solely responsible for you family’s wellbeing ~ instant tombstone.

Thats OK... I still have 4 more LOUSY FREEPER TROLL identities.


32 posted on 06/13/2008 7:26:07 AM PDT by envisio (If you ain't laughin yet... you ain't seen me naked. 8^O)
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To: vharlow
Now is the time to stockpile DU login IDs to be used when they freeze new accounts.
33 posted on 06/13/2008 7:26:53 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (the Clinton dream of being a two impeachment family goes right down the drain. - Letterman)
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To: PJ-Comix
Apparently the astrological community has reached some level of concensus. . . .

I would think the Astrological-American community would be all in favor of Dennis "I Married an Alien" Kookcinich.

34 posted on 06/13/2008 7:27:13 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Third Barack from the Sun.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Chiron, from what I've been told... represents the "Wounded Healer" archtype.

Rezko, from what I've been told, represents the "Hounded Wheeler-Dealer" frogmarch-type.

35 posted on 06/13/2008 7:31:59 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Third Barack from the Sun.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto . . . of similar energies to the inner planets, but "a higher octave". . . .

You'll pay more for the higher octave.

36 posted on 06/13/2008 7:35:47 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Third Barack from the Sun.)
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To: PJ-Comix
'Pluto is mentioned four times by the DUmmie Astrology 'expert'..
  1. Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto have interpretations that are very similar to Mercury, Venus, and Mars respectively. The "ancients" didn't know those planets existed

  2. Barack has Mars and Pluto in his seventh house.

  3. Mars usually is associated with anger and passion, Pluto with sex, death, rebirth, transformation, psychotherapy,

  4. Mars and Pluto are both in Virgo, but the sign that an outer planet

I hate to rain on this DUmmies parade but Pluto is no longer considered 'a Planet' by real scientists. those 'Astronomer' guys. Two years ago they decided that Pluto is an insignificant 'dwarf planet' - just another rock in the Kuiper Belt. And now are classified as '“plutoids”...

The International Astronomical Union (IAU) has decided that Pluto — and other dwarf planets in the Solar System that share similar characteristics — should now be sub-classified as “plutoids”. The revised classification comes almost two years after Pluto was demoted from “planet” to “dwarf planet” in order to dispel inconsistencies in order to dispel inconsistencies in Solar System nomenclature that have arisen as more orbiting bodies have been discovered.

So since Pluto is our there with numerous other “plutoids” it kind of screws up the whole Astrology thing, 'don't it'?

That being said, IMHO there is some thing to be said about the astrology and psychotherapy link.

37 posted on 06/13/2008 7:38:20 AM PDT by Condor51 (I have guns in my nightstand because a Cop won't fit)
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To: PJ-Comix
Barack has Mars and Pluto in his seventh house.

I didn't know Rezko got SEVEN houses for him!

38 posted on 06/13/2008 7:39:05 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Third Barack from the Sun.)
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To: PJ-Comix
The seventh house is relationships and partnerships.

That's what I'm talking about! Rezko, Wright, Pfleger, Ayers, now Johnson. . . .

39 posted on 06/13/2008 7:40:40 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Third Barack from the Sun.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Mars and Pluto are both in Virgo. . . .

Ayers and Rezko are both in prison--or ought to be.

40 posted on 06/13/2008 7:43:10 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Third Barack from the Sun.)
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