Posted on 04/21/2008 5:34:31 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
Whomever the Democratics nominate this time, it will be a first: It will NOT be a white male (unless you count Barry as half-white or Hillary as ha--uh, let's not go there). Identity Politics has driven the Democrat race. Guilt-wracked whites, wanting to appear enlightened, have supported the clean and articulate Magic Negro. They were joined finally by blacks, when Bill's dismissive South Carolina comments made them decide Barack was black enough. Meanwhile, old feminist teacher-union types have been supporting Hillary!.
But Identity Politics will not be enough to win in November. In order to succeed, the Dem candidate will HAVE TO attract some degree of the white male vote. So now, on the eve of the Pennsylvania primary, the Keystone State becomes a test case. Will Barry's recent gaffes hurt him with Typical White Persons? Will Operation Chaos crossover voters help Hillary? Which of the two can woo the Pennsylvania Democrats who, to quote an MSNBC description, are "Hunters, Bowlers, Beer Drinkers, and Gun Owners"?
But before we continue, let us first thank Barry for his commments about small-town folk being "bitter" and "clinging to guns and religion." This was a master stroke, Barry, to ensure that Operation Chaos will continue! And even if you get the nomination, this will haunt you in the general election! So here is my brand-new musical tribute, "My Bitter Town." Click the tune and sing along!
MY BITTER TOWN
Tune: "My Little Town" Original
In my little town
We grow up by clingin'
To God and the gun on the wall
And we welcome strangers warmly
If they bear a likeness to us all
Angry and small
My bitter town
Comin' home from the Klan
Burnin' a cross on the lawns
Of the immigrants
Our town holdin' a rally
Wearin' our sheets
With the pointy hats
We take off our robes
For the square dance
And none of the dancers are black
It's not that the dancers aren't square
It's just a pigmentation we lack
Everyone's a redneck
In my bitter town
Nothin' but some av'rage whites
Here in my bitter town
Nothin' but some av'rage whites
Here in my bitter town
In my bitter town
I never vote Democrat
I'm just a Republican
Drivin' my pick-up
Pickin' a brick up
Typical right-winger
See me clingin' to my gun
Seein' nothin' but some av'rage whites
Here in my bitter town
Nothin' but some av'rage whites
Here in my bitter town
Nothin' but some av'rage whites
Here in my bitter town . . .
Who can win these bitter whites? Lefty writer Nora Ephron ("When Harry Met Sally," "Silkwood," "Sleepless in Seattle") takes up this question in her HUffPo THREAD, "White Men." In less than 24 hours, Nora's diary has elicited literally a THOUSAND comments from the HUffies! This is way more than I can read, and there's enough here just with Nora! Nora! Nora!
So let us now proceed with her White-Men bashing, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your guest correspondent, longtime white male Charles Henrickson, wondering if Li'l Beaver will be allowed to vote in Beaver Falls, is in the [Barackets]:
it's suddenly horribly absolutely crystal-clear that this is an election about gender and race.
[Thank you, Comrade Obvious.]
This is an election about whether the people of Pennsylvania hate blacks more than they hate women.
[It's about whether DEMOCRATS hate blacks or women more. All the HillAryans are racists, and all the Obambats are sexists!]
And when I say people, I don't mean people, I mean white men.
[Oh, I forgot: Only WHITE MEN can be racist or sexist! And apparently, white men do not qualify as "people."]
To put it bluntly, the next president will be elected by them. . . .
[To put it more bluntly: President McCain.]
the outcome of Tuesday's primary will depend on whether they go for Hillary or Obama. . . .
[Tough choice. When was the last time a white man went for Hillary? Or to put it another way, how old is Chelsea?]
white men cannot be relied on, as all of us know who have spent a lifetime dating them.
[When was the last time a white man went for you, Nora?]
As for the Democratic hope that McCain's temper will be a problem, don't bet on it. A lot of white men have terrible tempers, and what's more, they think it's normal.
[SHUT YOUR FREAKIN' MOUTH!!!]
If Hillary pulls it out in Pennsylvania, and she could, and if she follows it up in Indiana, she can make a credible case that she deserves to be the candidate. . . .
[WHEEEEEEE!!!!!! Isn't Operation Chaos FUn?!]
these last primaries will show which of the two Democratic candidates is better at overcoming the bias of a vast chunk of the population. . . .
[How do you figure, Nora? If they vote for Hillary, they're racist. If they vote for Barry, they're sexist. They're biased either way!]
Hillary's case is not an attractive one. . . .
[Her "case"? Is that short for "pantsuit-face-voice-and-body"?]
what she'll essentially be saying . . . is that she can attract more racist white male voters than Obama can.
[All your racist white male base are belong to us!]
Hillary is the true whack-a-mole. . . .
[She takes a licking and keeps on ticking!]
if she survives on Tuesday, it will be a whole new ballgame. And it will be all because of white men.
[WOO-HOO! White men rule!!]
No. And I don't own a gun, either.
I do cling to religion, though.
I'm reminded of my late teenage years, going to Korte's Bar in Byesville, and playin' pinball. One night, this professional pinball player came in, looking for a game. I played. There was never any money on the table.
At one point, I went up to the bar to get a beer and Ann Korte (the matriarch of the place) sez to me something like, "Don't bet him; he's a pro." (I'm not quoting--I'm paraphrasing here--it was a couple of decades ago).
I come back with "Don't worry, Ann, I don't have any money anyway, but I'm playing the best pinball of my life."
I think we left about 14 free games on that machine, and many of them were my wins. The point is that you and PJ force me to raise my game.
Anyway, Byesville, Ohio is about as small town redneck as it gets. Seven churches and seven bars, last I counted.
She has been dumped by at least one well known writer. Currently she's on her third marriage. All three are to writers, IIRC. I don't know if she was dumped by her first husband, but she was very famously dumped by her second husband Carl Bernstein of Watergate fame.
She wrote a bestseller, Heartburn in which she claimed to have dumped him, but since he had been carrying on with various women for some time, she was clearly the de facto dumpee. The book was reworked into a truly unwatchable movie with Jack Nicholson and (who else?) Meryl Streep.
Like Grand and Funk Railroad or Jimmy Walker she's gotten a lot of mileage out of a very limited talent.
Soooo, how's that “identity politics” thing working out for you, ma'am?
Sounds like it's gonna be a rough three months on the ol’ campaign trail for whoever “wins” the Dem nomination, kissin’ all those white babies and slappin’ all those white backs.
Party of minorities = minority party
...and dig this: I collaborated on a project with Nora Ephron, sort of. Both of our six word memoirs appeared in the book "Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Authors Famous and Obscure," selected out of over 11,000 entries. Mine was "School geek married a luscious cheerleader" and hers was...well, before I tell you what she wrote, perhaps I should share this quote from her Huffer Post opus:
white men cannot be relied on, as all of us know who have spent a lifetime dating them.
Now that you've read that, now you can drink in the irony. Her six word memoir was "Secret of life: Marry an Italian."
That's odd--I was under the impression that Italians were white men.
Get your own beer. She's too busy ironing my shirts.
Take a gander at my 28, posted before I read your 7. Great minds...
Bubba has two but they are small. Reno has lotsa meato Crap, can't come up with the last line.
Well, she may be on her third marriage but it’s been 20 years, so it’s sticking better than most marriages in Hollywood.
Garlic-nosed white men.
YOU can't spell Wittenberg . . . period!
It's a typical white mountain, not a typical white fortress!
Shouldn't that be hussein obama's line?
"Excuse me while I whip this out."
So! Tell us. Just when did you dump her? :)
[It's about whether DEMOCRATS hate blacks or women more. All the HillAryans are racists, and all the Obambats are sexists!]
It's about whether DEMOCRATS hate blacks or women more, because the Operation Chaos warriors are keeping Hill in the race.
[Oh, I forgot: Only WHITE MEN can be racist or sexist! And apparently, white men do not qualify as "people."]
I am a white man and wouldn't vote for either one because they are LIBERALS. You get that Dora?
[How do you figure, Nora? If they vote for Hillary, they're racist. If they vote for Barry, they're sexist. They're biased either way!]
Hey Dora, would you vote for Alan Keyes? He is a black man and I voted for him in the Texas primary.
How about Condi Rice? She is a black female - both of your bias allegations. I'd bet you would never vote for her. You wouldn't vote for Ann Coulter either, would you Dora?
[WOO-HOO! White men rule!!]
Thanks Charles. I knew there would be at least one DUFU editions about this after Rush talked about this yesterday.
Love it!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
That’s priceless!
The thing is, I didn't even know Rush talked about it yesterday. Didn't catch the show. But I was looking for a thread to put my parody with, and I came across Nora's diary on HUffPo.
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