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Egypt Seals Gaza Border Using Secret Weapon
Fit-To-Print News ^

Posted on 02/03/2008 6:17:12 PM PST by Ge0ffrey

RAFAH, Egypt — Electric batons could not stop hordes of Palestinians from illegally pouring through a hole in the border fence between Gaza and Egypt. Nor could water canons and bulldozers.

Palestinians have repeatedly crossed into Egypt for supplies since last Wednesday. As soon as Egyptian forces have sealed up one hole, Hamas forces have succeeded in blasting a new one somewhere else in the 18-foot fence that divides this backwater border town in two.

Nothing Egyptian officials did seemed to work until they began blasting Yoko Ono music from the same speakers normally used to call Muslims to prayer. This began on Friday, immediately after Maghrib (or sunset) prayer.

“This is why no one dare stopping music,” said Egyptian General Abdel Hamid, who said he got the idea from watching APOCALYPSE NOW, his favorite American movie.

One song that was particularly effective was “A Thousand Times Yes,” from Ono’s classic FEELING THE SPACE album released in 1973. According to Hamid, “That song make them hurry steps like camel in front of sandstorm.” Hamid, who is also the governor of northern Sinai, had first purchased the album in a Cairo thrift shop.

Other Ono songs have also worked effectively. Yesterday’s attempt to smash a new hole a kilometer south of the first breach was immediately met with a cacophony of tunes from Ono’s Greatest Hits compilation, which was DHL’d on Friday by a Lebanese-run music store in Haifa, Israel.

It should be noted that the United States has also used music torture when it attempted to induce Manuel Noriega to surrender in 1989. Officials could not be reached for comment.


TOPICS: Humor; Military/Veterans; Politics; Travel; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: egypt; gaza; hamas; palestine; satire

1 posted on 02/03/2008 6:17:14 PM PST by Ge0ffrey
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To: Ge0ffrey

“until they began blasting Yoko Ono music from the same speakers”

Now that’s funny!


2 posted on 02/03/2008 6:20:36 PM PST by FReepapalooza
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To: Ge0ffrey

It would keep me away.


3 posted on 02/03/2008 6:27:11 PM PST by ConservativeMind
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To: Ge0ffrey

Blaring Yoko Ono music is definately the way to make that place a worse hell-hole than it already is.


4 posted on 02/03/2008 6:31:56 PM PST by VR-21
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To: Ge0ffrey

Palestinians were heard screaming....

Waterboard me...waterboard me.....please....


5 posted on 02/03/2008 7:27:23 PM PST by nevergore ("It could be that the purpose of my life is simply to serve as a warning to others.")
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