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Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows
http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^
| William M Briggs
Posted on 01/31/2008 3:36:33 PM PST by mattstat
A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”
Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”
The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: allyourzotrbelong2us; callingartbell; globalwarming; molassesmiasma; monkeyfacerules; undead; undeadthread; zombies; zotemifyougotem
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To: Tax-chick
Tax-Chick-cicle sounds kinda painful.
Be careful.
161
posted on
02/01/2008 8:53:47 AM PST
by
Darksheare
(Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
To: Darksheare
The weather-beeber says it’s 52 now.
162
posted on
02/01/2008 8:55:35 AM PST
by
Tax-chick
("Gently alluding to the indisputably obvious is not gloating." ~Richard John Neuhaus)
To: Tax-chick
163
posted on
02/01/2008 9:05:36 AM PST
by
darkangel82
(And the band played on....)
To: sionnsar
164
posted on
02/01/2008 9:06:01 AM PST
by
stand watie
(Resistance to tyrants is OBEDIENCE to God. Thomas Jefferson, 1804)
To: Tax-chick; darkangel82; Monkey Face
265.372222 K. It’s a heat wave I tell ya’...
165
posted on
02/01/2008 9:09:44 AM PST
by
Dead Corpse
(What would a free man do?)
To: Dead Corpse
507.67 R here, gray, no precip.
166
posted on
02/01/2008 9:14:39 AM PST
by
sionnsar
(trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
To: redstateconfidential
Now that there’s a keeper (the picture, not the fool!)...
167
posted on
02/01/2008 9:26:34 AM PST
by
rockrr
(Global warming is to science what Islam is to religion)
To: Tax-chick
It’s freezing here.
*drats*
Mind if I shuffle over to where you are?
(I want my global warming now!)
168
posted on
02/01/2008 9:37:13 AM PST
by
Darksheare
(Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
To: windcliff
169
posted on
02/01/2008 9:37:42 AM PST
by
stylecouncilor
(I'm a loner Dottie; a rebel.)
To: Slings and Arrows
The only thing that could make this thread more awesome is ninja priates.Would a zombie pirate do?
170
posted on
02/01/2008 10:12:09 AM PST
by
Lady Jag
(I dreamed I surfed all day in my monthly donor wonder bra - https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate)
To: Darksheare
It’s very windy, but the rain has definitely stopped. We have to go to Wal-mart.
171
posted on
02/01/2008 10:28:41 AM PST
by
Tax-chick
("Gently alluding to the indisputably obvious is not gloating." ~Richard John Neuhaus)
To: sionnsar; Darksheare
Are those precursors to ninja prions? They're extracted from ninja pyrites.
172
posted on
02/01/2008 10:52:42 AM PST
by
Slings and Arrows
("Those who surrender personal liberty for lower global temperatures will receive neither."--weegee)
To: Lady Jag
Would a zombie pirate do? Sure, if he gets ninja training.
173
posted on
02/01/2008 10:53:19 AM PST
by
Slings and Arrows
("Those who surrender personal liberty for lower global temperatures will receive neither."--weegee)
To: Slings and Arrows
They're extracted from ninja pyrites.LOL!
174
posted on
02/01/2008 10:55:40 AM PST
by
sionnsar
(trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
To: Slings and Arrows
Do they look for fool’s gold?
175
posted on
02/01/2008 10:57:35 AM PST
by
darkangel82
(And the band played on....)
To: darkangel82
Do they look for fool’s gold? They look for satirical humor. They're ironic pyrites.
176
posted on
02/01/2008 11:11:20 AM PST
by
Slings and Arrows
("Those who surrender personal liberty for lower global temperatures will receive neither."--weegee)
To: Slings and Arrows
177
posted on
02/01/2008 11:12:13 AM PST
by
darkangel82
(And the band played on....)
To: Slings and Arrows; sionnsar
Darn fools.
Being extracted hurts.
178
posted on
02/01/2008 11:16:31 AM PST
by
Darksheare
(Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
To: Darksheare
Wind chill makes it too cold to run. I guess I’ll have to cook instead.
We forgot to get ice again.
179
posted on
02/01/2008 12:10:05 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
("Gently alluding to the indisputably obvious is not gloating." ~Richard John Neuhaus)
To: sionnsar
180
posted on
02/01/2008 12:41:52 PM PST
by
rottndog
(McCain....We don't need no stinkin' McCain....)
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