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Clinton Says Electing Her President Will Guarantee Lower Fuel Prices
AZCONSERVATIVE ^ | 30 Dec 2007 | John Semmens

Posted on 12/31/2007 9:24:29 AM PST by John Semmens

Presidential candidate, Senator Mrs. Bill Clinton (D-N.Y.), told a crowd of New Hampshire Democratic voters that all they need to do in order to ensure lower fuel prices is elect her president next November. “My ‘two-pronged plan’ to lower fuel prices will mean lower heating bills and driving costs,” the New York senator promised.

The “supply side prong” calls for comprehensive price-controls. “Under my administration, oil profiteering will come to an end,” Clinton said. “Corporate greed feeding off of human need will be stopped. If we have to seize control of fuel producers to accomplish this—well, they’ve been warned.”

The “demand side prong” calls for a ban on nonessential travel. “Too many people are making too many unnecessary trips,” Clinton contended. “They’re driving alone to work when they should be carpooling or riding the bus. They’re going out to dinner or a movie when they should be eating at home and watching TV. People need to rethink their habits. Under my plan, household access to gasoline will be strictly rationed and monitored. Those who really need it will be authorized to buy it at government controlled prices. This will reduce waste and lower costs.”

While Clinton’s Democratic supporters showed enthusiasm for her plan, economists give it little chance of success. “You can’t repeal the laws of supply and demand by government diktat,” Professor of economics at George Mason University, Walter Williams warned. “Price-controls will guarantee shortages and long lines at the pump. Seizing control of producers will inject inefficiency into fuel production and deter investment. Having the government ration fuel and try to determine which uses are ‘essential’ is a recipe for corruption.”

In related news, it has been revealed that Clinton’s Tennessee campaign steering committee includes two convicted felons. Clinton brushed aside queries and criticisms stating that “The Democratic Party has always prided itself on the breadth of its representation. Former felons are people, too. They bring a unique perspective to the table. I am privileged to have them on my team.”

read more...

http://www.azconservative.org/Semmens1.htm


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: campaign; economics; energy; felons; gasprices; hillary; magic; magicwand; satire; spells

1 posted on 12/31/2007 9:24:31 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Satire.


2 posted on 12/31/2007 9:26:17 AM PST by Southack (Media Bias means that Castro won't be punished for Cuban war crimes against Black Angolans in Africa)
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To: Southack
Satire

Hard to tell the difference with this crowd ...

3 posted on 12/31/2007 9:29:17 AM PST by clamper1797 (Fred Thompson - Duncan Hunter for POTUS and Vice Potus in either order)
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To: John Semmens

The arrogance of THAT WOMAN is astounding. I have heard her advocate nationalization of the oil industry before, but this time she is giving more details. I guess they didn’t have gas lines in Arkansas in ‘78.


4 posted on 12/31/2007 9:29:21 AM PST by Eva
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To: John Semmens

Is she going to drive down energy costs because the amount of hot air escaping her mouth will power all of the windmills in America 24/7????? Or is it going to come from methane production due to all of the BS she will utter???


5 posted on 12/31/2007 9:30:46 AM PST by rednesss (Fred Thompson - 2008)
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To: John Semmens
“My ‘two-pronged plan’ to lower fuel prices

I thought Satan was usually depicted with a 3-pronged pitchfork.

6 posted on 12/31/2007 9:36:26 AM PST by hellbender
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To: John Semmens

In the “heading her off at the pass” catagory:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1946360/posts?page=62#62


7 posted on 12/31/2007 10:05:59 AM PST by Matchett-PI (Algore - there's not a more priggish, sanctimonious moral scold of a church lady anywhere.)
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To: John Semmens

8 posted on 12/31/2007 10:20:17 AM PST by TornadoAlley3 ( An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping that it will eat him last..)
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To: John Semmens
LOL! You've clearly stated Hillarys true agenda in your satirical way.

The only one I know who has kept the "candid" in "candidate" is--- Fred Thompson.

Go Fred!

9 posted on 12/31/2007 10:58:56 AM PST by melt (Someday, they'll wish their Jihad... Jihadn't.)
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To: Southack
Satire --- yes. But lets indulge ger.

“My ‘two-pronged plan’ to lower fuel prices will mean lower heating bills and driving costs,” ... With more hot air in the Oval Office it can be captured, harnessed and re-sold. To the highest bidder.

"...If we have to seize control of fuel producers to accomplish this—well, they’ve been warned.” ... Reminiscent of Truman and the steel industry. But remember Socialism is the primary goal here.

"“Too many people are making too many unnecessary trips,” ... Yes, only Congress and of course the Executive should be able to travel on junkets and boondoggles. Vacations aren't necessary in a real 'democracy'.
10 posted on 12/31/2007 11:18:11 AM PST by K-oneTexas (I'm not a judge and there ain't enough of me to be a jury. (Zell Miller, A National Party No More))
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To: John Semmens

While what you write is satire, here is a real quote on the oil price matter from Candidate George W. Bush:

‘’The president of the United States must jawbone OPEC members to lower the price,’’

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9405E5DD153AF930A15757C0A9629C8B63


11 posted on 12/31/2007 11:25:00 AM PST by trumandogz (Hunter Thompson 2008)
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To: hellbender

Third prong with be edwards and his (medical) mark of the beast on hand or forehead (barcode).


12 posted on 12/31/2007 11:31:23 AM PST by timer (n/0=n=nx0)
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To: John Semmens

Hillary is absolutely correct about energy prices falling if she gets elected.

Economies in recession always use less energy than growing economies.

High unemployment will really cut down on the demand for gasoline, too.

High taxes on the remaining workers will force them to tighten their belts and cut their spending wherever possible — vacations, trips to the beach, Sunday drives, etc.

Finally, homeless people use very little energy, so once Hillary’s policies have put more people out on the streets, each of them will become a net energy savings to the country !


13 posted on 12/31/2007 4:57:00 PM PST by Kellis91789 (Liberals aren't atheists. They worship government -- including human sacrifices.)
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To: Kellis91789

If only everyone else could see the truth like you have Kellis...


14 posted on 12/31/2007 11:15:58 PM PST by Schadenfreude622 (Das letzte Hemd hat leider keine Taschen!)
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