Posted on 09/18/2007 12:25:43 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
The line between DUmmieland and Fantasyland often becomes blurred. The inability of the DUmmies to deal with painful reality causes them to lapse into frequent fits of delusion. One of their favorite recurring fantasies is that Algore, the Great Savior, will at last emerge from exile to lead the DUmmies to the Promised Land. You see, the DUmmies cannot wrap their minds around the Inconvenient Truth that Hillary WILL be their nominee in 2008. So they fantasize that their Hero will ride to the rescue on his fuel-efficient white steed. Thus this latest DUmmie fantasy THREAD, subtly titled, "Gore." Of course, since some of the DUmmies realize that Algore will NOT enter the race, they have to comfort themselves with the other recurring Gore fantasy, i.e., that their Hero is doing more good for the globe by winning some meaningless prizes than by holding the most powerful office in the world. So let us take off our shoes and enter the Church of Algore, where the service is about to start. The versicles are in Bolshevik Red, and the responses of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, are in the [brackets]:
Gore.
[The service begins with the Invocation.]
A life changing documentary = An Oscar. A Revolutionary Television Network = An Emmy. The largest Global Aid Concert in History = The Nobel Prize. A roadmap to change the course of American political dialogue = AL GORE IN 2008!!!
[Unintentionally FUnnie DUmmie threads like this = A WEBLOG AWARD FOR BEST HUMOR BLOG FOR PJ-COMIX!!!]
Amen
[The congregation may now be seated.]
he's managed to write one of the greatest books of our time . . . The Assault on Reason.
[Next: The Assault on a Pasta Bar.]
This momentum...Must be moving in some direction or another.
[The momentum is moving in the direction of Algore's bank account, as he continues to sell books and DVDs and cable subscriptions and concert tickets and carbon footprint indulgences to fawning suckers like you.]
Of course, you would think that because you think he is a calculating selfish politician...Right? And not a statesman, global environmental advocate, and businessman doing all of these things TO WAKE US UP to what the political system is really all about. . . . How anyone could not see that the lasting effects of his work now will far surpass anything some BS "presidency" in the soundbite world will be able to accomplish now in the muck it is mired in is beyond me.
[Algore Fantasy #2 appears: Our Hero does more good by NOT being President.]
Al is a global hero. The one American leader that the rest of the world does not hate at the moment.
[Of course what really counts is what a bunch of goth green Euroweenies think.]
The repukes are out in force saying that Gore didn't really win an Oscar....the producers did. I guess they can't figure out that without Gore there would have been no "An Inconvenient Truth"! . . . It's not as if the producers could have made "An Inconvenient Truth ... starring Bruce Willis. . . .
[AKA "Die Warm."]
I'm so tired of these endless adoring Gore threads. He's a good man. I'd like if he HAD decided to run, but he's not the Messiah.
[HERESY!!!]
I'd rather have laudatory threads about Gore than gossip threads about Brittany Spears. . . .
[Say, did Algore run into Britney at those MTV Awards the other night? I'm sure he must have been up for a prize, like he is on every other award show. Coming soon: "Al! The Musical" wins a Tony!]
I ADORE GORE!!!!!!!
[PRAISE THE GORE!!!!!!!]
President Gore. . . . Man, that would so tick off Hillary!
[Wake up to an Inconvenient Truth: The Inevitable Hillary.]
Master of the universe.
[I BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
a nobel prize for holding a mostly meaningless concert?
[BURN THE HERETIC!!! Well, on second thought, choose a less carbon-emitting method of disposal.]
Gore's daughter already said categorically that an '08 run is not happening.
[She's a witch! BURN her!!!]
It's like being a kid again, isn't it? Waiting for Santa and Christmas morning. . . .
[Hillary is the Grinch who stole Christmas.]
There is still time for Al Gore to change his mind, enter the race and win the nomination for 2008. He could announce on November 4th (exactly one year out from the election) and go on to win in New Hampshire and nationwide. So I will not give up all hope of Al Gore running again.
[November 4, 2007, The Day When Everything Finally Changed. I BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
sure wish he'd announce....maybe tonight????
[Now go out in your pumpkin patch and be REALLY SINCERE!!!!!!]
He looks like the Bride of Chucky Schumer
target="_blank"
Ha! Ha! Looks like you’ve got some religious competition there Charles!
This was the best guest DUFU yet!
The closing lines are very moving:
"Al Gore believed in the Green Party. The ecological future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but tomorrow we will buy carbon credits, drive hybrid cars, and one fine day--"
Poetry, man...how does he write so well?
I don’t think the dummies hear what they, themselves, say. If they did, they’d know how stupid they are.
An '08 buffet, however, is a categorical imperative.
They still can’t accept their dorky hero lost his home state and the evil Bush won the majority of the popular vote in 2004.
Barking Moonbats (BM for short) should have a lot of experience in knowing where this is moving.
And whoever is responsible for the smoke-ring-as-halo, nice touch...
“Al is a global hero. The one American leader that the rest of the world does not hate at the moment.”
Undoubtedly one of those mental giants who wanted to allow the rest of the world to vote in 2004 - real “citizen-of-the-world” there.
Then you turned atheist/pagan/Mohammedan/whatever on your 13th birthday, and every day’s been “It’s a dog’s world and I’m a fire hydrant” ever since, hasn’t it?
Some?
Mostly outward, like an oil slick on the water, or his waistline....
Yes, they could have.
Not only would the movie been interesting, but it would have won 2 Oscars, an additional one for "Best Actor"....
He did that already in 2000, with his endless, asinine recounts in Florida....
Right!
And not a statesman,
Right, he's not.
global environmental advocate,
...who flies around in private jets and lives in a house big enough to shelter the third world.
and businessman doing all of these things TO WAKE US UP to what the political system is really all about. . . .
Wakeup? Algore would put insomniacs to sleep!
How anyone could not see that the lasting effects of his work now will far surpass anything some BS "presidency" in the soundbite world will be able to accomplish now in the muck it is mired in is beyond me.
How can anyone not see the lasting effects of his "carbon footprint" will surpass anything us "mere mortals" could hope to accomplish. His work as a BS "artist" will never be equalled....
I don't have to wonder anymore....
“I’d rather have laudatory threads about Gore than gossip threads about Brittany Spears. . . . “
Here’s a great rumor to spread:
Algore is actually in a secret relationship with Britney, doin’ the Britney booty boink.
Woo hoo!
Let the Enquirer get hold of that one!
The Church of Gore. **(Gong!!)**) AAaaaahhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
target="_blank"
PJ, I have tried this several ways with no success. What characters exactly do I put after the original URL?
target="_blank"
="_blank"
"_blank"
_blank"
Do I need to put a slash or something between the original URL and the appended characters?
Can you demonstrate, using the URL for the DU thread in question, how exactly it would look?
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x1825305
BTW, the link to the DUmmie FUnnies blogpot (at the top left of this FR page) DOES open in a separate window, and I didn't do anything special. But the link I posted to the DU THREAD does not open in a spearate window.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.