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DUmmie FUnnies 01-08-07 ("Gore Leaves Door Ajar for 2008")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | January 8, 2007 | DUmmies, HUffies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 01/08/2007 5:28:04 AM PST by PJ-Comix

Speculation among the Left about Al Gore running in 2008 has been common almost from the moment that Kerry lost in 2004. However, I have ignored such speculation for the most part...until now. Why? Because SOON Al Gore is going to have to make his move one way or the other. And it now looks like Gore will be choosing to run. One big indicator of this is this Washington Post article titled, Gore Leaves Door Ajar for 2008. This article grabbed my attention for two reasons. The first reason is the article stated that when Gore was asked by people if he were going to run in '08, he replied that he "didn't know whether he was going to or not." That doesn't exactly sound like someone who previously DENIED he was running. To me that is a YES. The other reason why this article attracted my attention was the word "ajar" in the title. Whenever I see or hear the word "ajar," I always think of Yacov Smirnov's comedy routine about how when he first came to this country he was confused by the voice in his car that said, "The door is ajar" which he heard as "The door is a jar."

So now that it looks like Al Gore will be running as he probably planned to all along on the back of his "An Inconvenient Truth" flick, what are the implications for the other Democrat candidates? The answer is bad. Since the study of the Left is my hobby, I can tell you that most of the liberals will drop their support for other candidates to greet the candidacy of Al Gore with open arms. Hillary? GONE! Osama/Obama? GONE! Tom Vilsack? Don't make me laugh. And speaking of Vilsack, I am taking a personal interest in him since the DUmmie FUnnies has ENDORSED his candidacy. Unfortunately, since Governor Vilsack has thus far NOT taken my advice to "Wear the Bear," his campaign remains mired in tedium since he seems to have the charisma of a cost accountant. Of course, Vlasic isn't the worst candidate ever. That honor has to belong to Evan Bayh who delivered the phoniest sounding speech ever as you can see HERE. Bayh's speech is so astoundingly bad that it promises to become a comedy classic. However, to give Bayh credit, he dropped out of the presidential race as soon as he saw himself in this video. Even he was embarrassed by himself.

With Al Gore now apparently (though not yet officially) in the race, let us now take a look at the DUmmie REACTION in Bolshevik Red as well as the that of the HUffington Post HUffies while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who just can't get enough of watching that Evan Bayh speech, is in the [brackets]:

WP: Gore Leaves Door Ajar for 2008

[The door is a jar. No, no! The door is a can.]

As the Democratic field for 2008 takes shape, one big remaining question is whether former vice president Al Gore -- winner of the popular vote in 2000, an almost-candidate in 2004 and now the public face of the movement to address global warming -- will be in it.

[Al Gore's breath is now the public face of global warming.]

Over the past six years, Gore has become a heroic figure for the party's liberal left, thanks in large part to his early and steady opposition to the war in Iraq. And it's not just liberals who have taken to Gore. "An Inconvenient Truth," the film detailing Gore's lonely quest to raise awareness of climate change, is one of the most successful documentaries of all time and, as important, has transformed Gore's public image from cold to cool.

[Lonely quest to raise awareness of climate change? Give me a break. Global Warming has been liberal dogma for quite some time. At least since back in the days when we were being warned about Global Cooling.]

That renewed popularity has stoked speculation that Gore just may have another national race up his sleeve. "He's the Rocky Balboa of 2008," said Chris Lehane, a former Gore adviser.

[Old and bloated like Rocky Balboa. Maybe Al Gore needs to work out chopping wood in Siberia like Rocky Balboa did last night on the tube in Rocky IV.]

But is Gore ready to enter the ring one more time? Don't count on it, say his closest advisers. "There are no secret meetings going on to plan the Gore campaign," said Carter Eskew, a longtime confidant of the former vice president.

[The meetings aren't secret. They meet openly now.]

But neither Eskew nor any of the small cadre of Gore's closest advisers would entirely rule out such a bid, leaving the same small but substantial amount of wiggle room that Gore himself has left in his public pronouncements....

WASHINGTON POST

[Blah. Blah. Blah. He's RUNNING, folks. Time for Al to break out his prosthetic crotch enhancer (socks).]

Al Gore IS the ONE! We are NOT only hoping but depending on Gore to run!

[Al Gore is our Savior!]

Well of course he's running. The wind's in his sails. It's due him, and the people who voted him in the first time who were robbed of that vote. I hope he wins.

[It's going to have to be a mighty substantial wind to move that bulky cargo.]

Run Al, run! I would work my ass off for President Gore.

[If you would also sell it for Al Gore then I would know for sure that you are indeed Ben Burch.]

Al Gore is the only person I see..... on the political horizon with the intelligence and will to make the changes that our country so desperately needs. Our country has had it with, "the guy I'd like to have a beer with" and needs a person of remarkable intelligence to lead us out of this Republican quagmire we've been saddled with.

[Al Gore is "the guy I'd like to have a monster buffet with."]

I think Gore, more than any other possible candidate, can help bring the rest of the world to the table to talk about what we need to do to save our planet and to focus on the other issues that we need to work on.

[So Al Gore can help bring the rest of the table to talk about saving our planet by ridding it of Islamic terrorists?]

Gore is the quintessential Boy Scout, and I mean that in the most positive sense.

[Sorry but Al Gore outgrew his Boy Scout uniform eons ago.]

I'm certainly keeping a candle in the window for him. I think we need him DESPERATELY. WE need him. The whole WORLD needs him. The survival of our planet needs him.

]The survival of our galaxy needs him.]

His message is too important. He should not run. The global warming issue is vital. I don't want to see it become a mere calling card for a presidential candidate. If Gore gets into the race, he could lose his new-found stature in a week, taking the global warming issue with him. Gore would make a good president. But it seems to me that he has answered a "higher calling." I could see a Gore presidency after (and only after) the global warming issue is common sense to everyone.

[I dare not spoil this DUmmie's innocence by suggesting that the whole global warming shtick was nothing but a cynical ploy by Al Gore to get himself into the '08 presidential race the easy way.]

It is possible Gore would win now as he essentially did in 2000. But he might not, and then An Inconvenient Truth would be just a failed political vehicle instead of a credible world-wide call to action. I don't think An Inconvenient Truth would have had anything like the impact it has had were it not for Gore's loss and sacrifices.

[Al Gore sacrificed himself for our environmental sins.]

I want to see all candidates take the climate change issue as their own. The issue doesn't belong to Gore. It belongs to everyone. Gore deserves gratitude at this point. Let's not spoil it.

[Tom Vlasic took the global warming issue and everyone listening to him went to sleep.]

NO ONE thinks he has political aspirations behind everything he does. Don't insult the good DUers on this site.

[The wide eyed innocence on this DUmmie's face is so cute!]

I hope he does run it would be great to see him in the field.

[The best place to serve up barbeque is in a field.]

It is rare for a person to be so well prepared for the crises of an era. And I believe Gore to be one such person.

[Al Gore is well prepared with his bib and hammer for those delish all you can eat garlic crabs from the Chesapeake.]

I'm very much enthused at the thought of another opportunity to vote for Gore. He's by far got the entire package as a Presidential candidate.

[Including that prosthetic crotch enhancer package in his pants.]

I wish Gore would say he will run. Hillary will crap her pants, and the race for the nomination will be wide open. But unless Gore gives a direct signal that he is considering running, we are just wasting our time like those idiotic Christians that are awaiting the Second Coming. It ain't gonna happen!

[This comment space reserved for a certain Lutheran songmeister pastor from St. Louis...]

I do not think he will be as stiff as he came across in 2000.

[Falling off the deep end does tend to loosen you up.]

Al Gore is a man I could go fishing with.

[Watch out or he'll eat your entire catch. And now to HEAR from the HUffies about Al Gore's probable run...for the presidency and/or the banquet room...]

I'd be glad to see Al run for a second term. He didn't get a chance to do anything in his first term, which was seized from him by tyrant Tush.

[Speaking of Tush. I think Al Gore wins hands down in the substantial Tush department.]

Al Gore would be a breath of fresh air compared to the white trash that have stunk up the White House for the past 6 yrs!

[Not with all that garlic and marinara sauce on his breath.]

And when he chooses his running mate I hope that he chooses Howard Dean to be his Vice President.

[Let's hear it for the Asylum Team: YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!]

I would vote for this man again in a heartbeat ~~

[Or a heartburn.]

I'd sell my house to get this man elected!

[Al Gore sincerely hopes that you keep the kitchen and the dining room.]

I have to say I love the way Al Gore is playing this out. F*ck the media and their horse race mentality 2 years out. Good gosh, the U.S. Media is as culpable as anyone else for the sinful, horrible tragedy in Iraq. Follow your own rhythm Al. If you want the Presidency, it's most likely yours. If you don't want it, then continue to manipulate the media whores for your own ends.. global warming, that is.

[Al Gore is manipulating the media whores for his own ends.. presidential nomination and complimentary dinners.]

I dream of the day when talk radio is buzzing, when cable news networks are scrambling to get "ahead of the breaking news", I dream of the day when my inbasket is full from the rush of "did you hear the news!"

[Al Gore dreams of the day when his inbucket is full of KFC.]

Al Gore is already training others to teach others about global warming.

[Al Gore has taught me how heat up my fried chicken via global warming.]

I think Al Gore/Mark Warner would be great! Or Evan Bayh, who backed out of the race recently but seems still interested. Both those guys were very successful governors in red states, but maintained their priciples.

[Actually Evan Bayh is still interested in forgetting about his phony SPEECH.]

Id rather have an overweight, intelligent, principled president than a fit chimpanzee.

[Can you fit that on a bumper sticker?]

I really hope Gore chooses to run. He's the best man for the job, bar none! All I know is every time I see Gore, I find myself thinking "Help us Obi-Wan, you're our only hope!" NO! really! He is the best qualified and capable person out there for the tough tasks ahead!

[All I know is every time I see Gore, I find myself thinking, "Help us. Al Gore just swallowed Obi-Wan!"]

Does a man or a women has to look like the Media clone of what a president should look like. Everybody gains weight at fifty something. If he needs to loose weight to get elected and than the general public should do liekwise. We are the fattest nation on earth from certain accounts.

[One big reason is corn syrup is used as a sugar substitute...and I now will get off my soapbox.]

didn't Gore say just a couple weeks ago that he had lost taste for how dirty politics had become or something? he never had the stomach for the presidency

[Perhaps but he sure does have a stomach for garlic crabs, barbeque pork, buckets and buckets of KFC, etc...]

What can we do to convince Al Gore to run?

[Smear yourself with teriyaki sauce.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: algore; dummies; huffies
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To: PJ-Comix

"I'm certainly keeping a candle in the window for him. I think we need him DESPERATELY. WE need him. The whole WORLD needs him. The survival of our planet needs him."

A little over the top, wouldn't you say? /sarc


41 posted on 01/08/2007 7:12:30 AM PST by imskylark
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To: PJ-Comix
the public face of global warming. . . .


42 posted on 01/08/2007 7:12:46 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (I've got Algore-aphobia.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
You're back. I have good news and bad news for you. First the good news...

You're sure to win a songwriting political parody contest offering a prize of $2500.

And now the bad news...

You're too late. There was such a contest for a parody song about the 2000 contested election but the deadline was December 2000. Too bad because I bet your "Palm Beach Polka" would have won.

43 posted on 01/08/2007 7:19:18 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix; All
The Wear The Stork campaign proudly introduces, Algore's VP selection...ajar.
44 posted on 01/08/2007 7:31:17 AM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel (Buy your freedom fries from "Burqa King".)
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To: PJ-Comix
Over the past six years, Gore has become a heroic figure. . . .

Over the past six years, Gore has become a caloric figure:


45 posted on 01/08/2007 7:32:42 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (I've got Algore-aphobia.)
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel

WOW! The Tom Vlasic commentary forum censor is sure overworking his job. He keeps purging every post I make over there.


46 posted on 01/08/2007 7:32:56 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Another reason why I know Algore will be running is that daughter Karenna is bored to death. She married some wealthy but very dull doctor and is just puttering around all day doing nothing in her Manhattan penthouse. She needs to be the D.C. social butterfly queen that she dreams to be.


47 posted on 01/08/2007 7:35:58 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel
...ajar!


48 posted on 01/08/2007 7:37:39 AM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel
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To: PJ-Comix

Have you said anything about The Stork? (Might be fun just to see them sputter abouot "copyright" laws.


49 posted on 01/08/2007 7:39:17 AM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel

Tom Vlasic's main shtick is alternate fuels. To listen to Vlasic is like reading a dull chemistry paper about the molecular formulations of such fuels. Sorry, Tom, but we are electing a PRESIDENT, not a Chief Chemist.


50 posted on 01/08/2007 7:40:56 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel

YUmmie! Ajar of Vilsack pickles.


51 posted on 01/08/2007 7:41:53 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

Dude! I'm, like, offended (but not in some weepy eyed feminine way that might cause the government or some sleazy lawyer make you send me cash).


52 posted on 01/08/2007 7:43:28 AM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel (B.S.Chem., CHMM, CECM)
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To: PJ-Comix; kevkrom

There is a benburch in that...something about eating a vilsac pickle.


53 posted on 01/08/2007 7:45:04 AM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel
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To: PJ-Comix
We already have a President "I'm-Mad-in-a-Jar"...


54 posted on 01/08/2007 7:47:57 AM PST by mikrofon (Show him the door, too)
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To: PJ-Comix
Gore just may have another national race up his sleeve.

Gore just may have another Tootsie Roll case up his sleeve.

"He's the Rocky Balboa of 2008,"

He's the Rocky Road of 2008.

55 posted on 01/08/2007 7:48:25 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (I've got Algore-aphobia.)
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel

Sorry. However, Vlasic is now concentrating on dull discussions of all sorts of chemical compositions of alternate fuels. Also he wants to add more soy and other vegetable matter to the fuels. Only trouble with that is that it takes FUEL to harvest such plants so what is really the net positive result of such biological based fuels? Not much. Better to just drill in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico where petroleum exists in vast quantities.


56 posted on 01/08/2007 7:49:59 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

Or...as my personalized plate says:

"DRLANWR"


57 posted on 01/08/2007 8:02:19 AM PST by Cletus.D.Yokel
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To: PJ-Comix
Our country . . . needs a person of remarkable intelligence. . . .

Al Gore, Doctor of Thinkology:


58 posted on 01/08/2007 8:05:28 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (I've got Algore-aphobia.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I'm certainly keeping a candle in the window for him.

How dare you! You're contributing to global warming!

59 posted on 01/08/2007 8:07:40 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (I've got Algore-aphobia.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Gore is the quintessential Boy Scout. . . .

An Inconvenient Troop.

60 posted on 01/08/2007 8:11:47 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (I've got Algore-aphobia.)
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