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DUmmie FUnnies 10-18-06 ("Are you as sick of religious fundamentalism as I am?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | October 18, 2006 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 10/18/2006 7:01:09 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

We can now see the theme of the Democrat October Surprise or rather October Surprises. They are designed to keep church going folks from voting at the polls this November. The first October Surprise, launched prematurely because of an overanxious Blog run by a RAT operative, was Foleygate. Supposedly because Mark Foley had gay non-sex via e-mail and IMs, this is supposed to keep outraged religious folks from supporting Republicans. Unfortunately, as I stated, Foleygate broke several weeks too soon and is already fading as a factor. The second October Surprise was the "convenient" October publication (even though he admitted the publication date was originally set for 2007) of David Kuo's book in which he urges Christians to take a breather from politics which really means taking a break from voting for Republicans. So what do the Democrats REALLY think of the religious folks that they refer to as "fundies?" They won't say it out loud but it isn't hard to find the TRUTH in the Leftwing blogosphere such as DUmmieland where this THREAD authored by DUmmie Philosoraptor explains perfectly their real attitude via the title, "Are you as sick of religious fundamentalism as I am?" So let us now watch the REAL attitude of the Left towards "fundies" in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thanking DUmmie Philosoraptor and Co. for their brutal honesty in exposing themselves, is in the [brackets]:

Are you as sick of religious fundamentalism as I am?

[Shh! Didn't you get the Democrat talking points memo about PRETENDING to feel sympathetic towards church going folks...until after the election?]

These people are disgusting, and they've been shoving that shit down my throat for too f*cking long now and I am flat out f*cking tired of it.

[If you dare to change your religion they will kill you. The "they" are the Muslims in their own countries where switching from Islam is a capital offense.]

I have these people in my family, thank god they are the rare kind, born again Democrats who hate bush, but my bro and his wife are dead on zombie Jesus bush voting zombies.

[DUmmie Philosoraptor must be such a joy to be around during family dinners.]

These fanatics endanger us all, literally, I've been saying it for 30 years now, that's how long my family members have been converted to the cult, and it is a cult, as are all religions.

[Is that also how long you've been confined to the RUbber Room?]

Are we to allow a cult to conquer America right before our eyes? Are we to just roll our eyes and be polite when these f*ckers shove this shit right down our throats like Spanish inquisitors?

[DUmmie Philosoraptor is burning so red hot that I will have to shield myself with the David Kuo book urging Christians to turn the reins of power over to the DUmmiecrats by not voting.]

They are too dumb to chew gum, but they can get out and vote for nazis by the millions, and this makes them intolerable to a free America.

[Exercising the right to vote is intolerable if you don't vote the way DUmmie Philosoraptor wants.]

They are scared to death of crazy Islamists, and so am I, but they are the exact same thing, they participate in the exact same madness, and they perpetuate the exact same ancient hatreds and slights and they threaten the United States in the exact same way as the Taliban crazies, they worship the exact same god, and they think the exact same way.

[How many suicide Christian fundamentalists piloted planes to crash into large buildings?]

And they are trying to take over our nation, and when you say that to the average guy on the street they don't believe you, its too fantastic, too sci fi, too implausible.

[Perhaps they don't believe you, DUmmie Philosoraptor, because of that Happy Farms strait jacket you are wearing.]

I'm f*cking sick of them, and my parents and my brother and sis in law know better than to talk that religio-political bullshit to my face, cause they'll get a red hot rant right up their asses every time.

[Nice psychopathic family hatred thing you have going there, DUmmie Philosoraptor.]

I'm tired of being polite to them on the street, I'm tired of kissing their ass and giving them breaks because they are good Christian people, f*ck them and the cross they rode in on.

[FEEL the love! Now on to the equally loony comments from DUmmie Philosoraptor's fellow DUmmies...]

F?ck them cowardly, sheepish, dumb, bastids and bastidettes!

[Kindly wipe that rabid foam from the floor before exiting the Rubber Room.]

I am sick and tired of their claiming that only they have a truth, partly based on 1500 yr old faerie tails, and partly based on great old fictional literature that was stolen, borrowed, begs, copied and mistranslated from the earliers societies and sects, hitite, egyptian, canaan and others.

[Meanwhile the DUmmies completely buy into creating their own alternate realities, faux Hopi Indian visions, and astrology.]

it will be interesting to see what happens to them as the millenium progresses and there is no rapture and jesus doesn't come back. and by way of clarification -- i am christian.

[And by way of clarification -- you have a rainbow flag symbol on your post, DUmmie xchrom.]

If I were ever going to go back to christianity, I would go UU as they support pagans and polys, of which I am both. I've known a UU minister who presided over a (non-legal) marriage of four. Not my quad nor my current group. We went to my pagan priest for the first one (it was a kickass ceremony but the marriage not so much)and we're all living in sin in the second one. Even if the government would allow either one of us to marry and they will not, we would probably decline this time around. I'm not much of a ring wearer and none of us can agree on a necklace. I suppose we could do some kind of bracelet. I will have to bring that one up in the next family meeting. Of course, we need to finish our trial period of a year and a day first, anyway.

[Thank you for sharing way too much information with us.]

i'm drawing more pan-theism into my personal faith. i've always had a streak of the old religion in my thinking /spirituality.

[Theology...DUmmie style.]

I was raised Southern Baptist but too much of it didn't make sense. My grandfather (my grandparents raised me) always said I thought too much for my own good and I guess I did think a lot but not too much for my own good. I've been out of the cult for nearly 25 years now. I'm not an athiest though, I do believe in a higher power just not the jealous God of my youth. Yahweh does not play well with others so he isn't allowed in my metaphysical sandbox.

[Nobody else is allowed in your sandbox since you've been in mental solitary confinement for years.]

Yes, and that's why I've decided to...persecute Christians. At every opportunity. All of them, even the nice ones. Oh, I'll do it nicely to the nice ones, but I'll be nasty to the nasty ones.

[Why do I get the image here of Norman Bates sitting in a jail cell as he thinks to himself with his mother's voice?]

Believe whatever you like fundies, just stay the hell away from my civil liberties.

Sorry, touchy subject this week thanks to my fundie relatives...who still insist I'm no legitimate minister despite an advanced degree in divinity studies and an ordination. Apparently I'm not fit to bless the bounty at the Thanksgiving table. Whatever.

[Do your "fundie" relatives also claim that your sanity isn't legitimate?]

I'm going to lock this. With regard to religion (or the lack thereof), Democratic Underground is a diverse community which includes Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus, Atheists, Agnostics, and others. All are welcome here. For this reason, we expect members to make an extra effort to be sensitive to different religious beliefs, and to show respect to members who hold different religious beliefs. Members are welcome to discuss whether they agree or disagree with particular religious beliefs, but they are expected to do so in a relatively sensitive and respectful manner. As a general rule, discussions about ideas are usually permitted, but broad-brush bigoted statements about groups of people — either religious or non-religious — are not.

best,
wakemeupwhenitsover
DU Moderator

[Too late, DUmmie Moderator wakemeupwhenitsover. You can lock up this thread but I've already unlocked the TRUE DUmmie (and general leftwing) attitude towards the "fundies" in this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: antichristian; atheismandstate; atheismisareligion; christianbashing; dummies; liberalbigot; religion; religiousintolerance
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To: PJ-Comix
Dang it! I saw that thread and thought about posting on it but decided not to. I missed my chance to add another LOUSY FREEPER TROLL to my score.
21 posted on 10/18/2006 7:18:37 AM PDT by chesley (Republicans don't serve to win...But America does not deserve the Dhimmicrats!)
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To: PJ-Comix
"...thank god they are the rare kind, born again Democrats who hate bush, but my bro and his wife are dead on zombie Jesus bush voting zombies."

I guess the DUmmies can't see the irony in this statement. I guess it's ok for the dems to hate.

22 posted on 10/18/2006 7:20:08 AM PDT by gate2wire (Please Lord, look after 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub)
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To: PJ-Comix

"Are you as sick of religious fundamentalism as I am?"

Yes I am, which is precisely why I support the President fully in executing the WOT!


23 posted on 10/18/2006 7:20:09 AM PDT by CSM ("When you stop lying about us, we'll stop telling the truth about you." No Truce With Kings)
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To: PJ-Comix
it was a kickass ceremony but the marriage not so much

The Ideal Leftist Marriage in a nutshell.

24 posted on 10/18/2006 7:20:39 AM PDT by Darkwolf377 (Republican, atheist, pro-life)
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To: PJ-Comix

Never more a hateful bunch I've seen in America--other than the silly KKK stuff...
And one of these idiots actually believe we are the same as the Islamo-fascists???!!!
I haven't heard of anyone being executed by the First Baptist Church. I haven't heard anyone sugegst we change our government to a theocracy--what loons, hateful, silly, out-of-mind loons these people are indeed.
And this is representative of the democratic party. Go for it, Pelosi, Reid. You'll lose.


25 posted on 10/18/2006 7:20:48 AM PDT by BamaAndy (Heart & Iron--the story of America through an ordinary family. ISBN: 1-4137-5397-3)
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To: PJ-Comix

Wow. So very... tolerant.


26 posted on 10/18/2006 7:21:04 AM PDT by SaveTheChief (This is my "+3 tagline of smiting")
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To: PJ-Comix
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamentalist_Christianity

http://www.xmission.com/~fidelis/

FYI. Just for the record, I am evangelical, not fundamentalist.
27 posted on 10/18/2006 7:22:06 AM PDT by chesley (Republicans don't serve to win...But America does not deserve the Dhimmicrats!)
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To: PJ-Comix

I think the DUmmie definition of fundie is someone who believes that Christ is the only hope of salvation and that the Bible means what it says and says what it means.


28 posted on 10/18/2006 7:24:15 AM PDT by JamesP81 (The answer always lies with more freedom; not less)
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To: Lx

I think that means a quad-marriage; polygamy.


29 posted on 10/18/2006 7:25:22 AM PDT by MichiganConservative (Government IS the problem.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Maybe but I've noticed that the biggest beer/bourbon drinkers and smokers are Southern Baptists. However, when you get down to it, the Bible doesn't explicitly prohibit drinking or smoking.

Yeah, the Baptists are still contending with the legacy of a few outspoken folks who tried to make the case that Jesus didn't really turn water into an alcoholic beverage.

However, as the old joke goes - if you ever invite a Baptist to go fishing, invite TWO. If you only invite ONE, he'll drink all of your beer.
30 posted on 10/18/2006 7:26:08 AM PDT by beezdotcom
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To: PJ-Comix
Yahweh does not play well with others so he isn't allowed in my metaphysical sandbox.

Stunning.

31 posted on 10/18/2006 7:27:04 AM PDT by Steve0113 (Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. -A.L.)
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To: PJ-Comix
If I were ever going to go back to christianity, I would go UU as they support pagans and polys, of which I am both. I've known a UU minister who presided over a (non-legal) marriage of four. Not my quad nor my current group. We went to my pagan priest for the first one (it was a kickass ceremony but the marriage not so much)and we're all living in sin in the second one.

It sounds like joke without a punchline. "So this pagan priest is presiding over a wedding of four people to each other..."

All that's missing is Raquel Welch (Seinfeld reference).

32 posted on 10/18/2006 7:27:06 AM PDT by retrokitten
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To: PJ-Comix; Cletus.D.Yokel; SCALEMAN
they've been shoving that shit down my throat for too f*cking long now and I am flat out f*cking tired of it.

Side note: Last night I went to the Cardinals-Mets game. VERY exciting! Great game, and the fans were really into it. I had a great seat--upper deck, but right behind home plate. Well, out of the whole stadium, and all the nice, positive, excited but well-behaved fans there, who do I get sitting next to me? Some guy in his mid-to-late 20s who came in an inning late with his girlfriend. They both had been drinking before the game, and they CONTINUED to drink constantly until they left two hours later (thankfully, they left around the seventh inning).

For those two hours--not counting the times the guy got up to get more beer and to *make room* for the more beer, if you catch my drift--this guy was negative, even when the Cards were winning, and he just kept on badmouthing Scott Rolen--and badmouthing Tony La Russa for playing Rolen not playing Scott Spiezio. And EVERY OTHER WORD was the "f"-word!

"F'ing Rolen! Why the F*** isn't Spiezio in there?! F'ing LaRussa--get f'ing Spiezio in there instead of f'ing Rolen! F***!!! This pisses me off! F'ing F***!!!"

For two (2) hours. This guy used the "f"-word more in two hours than I have in 53 years, total.

Other than that, I had a great time! :-)

33 posted on 10/18/2006 7:30:49 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (St. Louis)
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To: PJ-Comix
"...there is no rapture and jesus doesn't come back. and by way of clarification -- i am christian."

"there is no rapture and jesus doesn't come back." "...i am christian." ??? No offense DUmmie, but it does not sound like you're a very good one.

34 posted on 10/18/2006 7:31:59 AM PDT by gate2wire (Please Lord, look after 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub)
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To: MichiganConservative
Are they same sex??? What is UU?

These people are so full of hate; it's actually quite sad.
35 posted on 10/18/2006 7:33:44 AM PDT by Lx (Do you like it, do you like it. Scott? I call it Mr. and Mrs. Tennerman chili.)
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To: Lx

I think UU means Universal Unitarian. With Dummies, a "quad-marriage" might include a goat, so you never know about the sex of those involved. Some of them aren't even sure about their own sex.


36 posted on 10/18/2006 7:35:45 AM PDT by MichiganConservative (Government IS the problem.)
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To: Ditter
I am a Christian but I don't know any fundies. Are there really that many out there?

No. Also be wary of the "Evangelical Christians" label that predated this one as the broad classifier of choice by the usual suspects.

More than once I was able to read between the lines and conclude that they decided that if you went to church every Sunday, you were an "Evangelical Cristian".

37 posted on 10/18/2006 7:36:01 AM PDT by jiggyboy (Ten per cent of poll respondents are either lying or insane)
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To: PJ-Comix

Into the top 40 like Casey Kasem on sedatives!


38 posted on 10/18/2006 7:36:32 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (People who say there are jobs Americans won't do have never watched "Dirty Jobs.")
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To: cripplecreek

LOL good catch


39 posted on 10/18/2006 7:36:58 AM PDT by jiggyboy (Ten per cent of poll respondents are either lying or insane)
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To: PJ-Comix
I get Internet polls from Zogby and they usually ask about your religion. They ask if you are a born again Christian and that phrase is redundant. If you are a Christian you ARE born again in Christ. I think they are really asking if you are a fundie and I don't know what it means either.
40 posted on 10/18/2006 7:37:46 AM PDT by Ditter
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