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DUmmie FUnnies 08-23-06 (KOmmie Plan To Turn Democrats Into Untouchables)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | August 23,2006 | KOmmie occams hatchet, KOmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 08/23/2006 7:02:08 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

Remember all the Democrat talk just a few years ago about the need for a "civil discourse?" Well, you can throw that out the window. Now Democrats want to act like in-your-face tough guys as you can see in this Daily Kos KOmmie THREAD titled, "Democrats must take the gloves off." The tough guy KOmmie Klown who authored this piece of laughable false bravado is none other than KOmmie occams hatchet who came up with another comedic gem: KOmmies Claim Terror Alerts Are Just Republican Fear Mongering. So let us now remove the restraining straps from KOmmie occams hatchet and watch him rabidly rant in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, about to enjoy another full moon KOmmie edition of the DUmmie FUnnies, is in the [brackets]:

Democrats must take the gloves off

[Says KOmmie occams hatchet as he takes off his restraining straps.]

"You wanna know how you do it? Here's how: They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way, and that's how you get Capone! Now - do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that?"

[A moment of Divine Revelation! KOmmie occams hatchet gets his inspiration from a fictional movie character in his effort to turn the Democrats into Untouchables. No one would want to touch them if they took his advice.]

Are Democrats ready to do that? Have Democrats "had enough" cowering, groveling, simpering, appeasing, pussyfooting, equivocating and generally eating the crap of Republican abuse for the past six years to finally do what needs to be done to change things?

[You look laughably cute when rabid foam drools out of the side of your mouth.]

The Republicans have been skirmishing Democrats for several years, nipping at our flanks, picking off supporters and candidates one by one with their "unfair" tactics, and then refusing to engage us in a battle over the substance of the issues, the way it's "supposed" to be done.

[Wake up, KOmmie occams hatchet. You seem to be having a nightmare involving a superimposing a martial fantasy on normal political campaigns.]

"Unfair! Unfair! Unfair!"

["Unclean! Unclean! Unclean!" That's what I want to yell when reading KOmmie occams hatchet.]

Shaddaaap. Get a grip. Get a spine. Start standing up for yourself. No, forget that - forget "standing up for yourself" - that's playing defense. We need to play offense. We need to turn every attack back on them. So - when you get attacked with a knife, pull out a freakin' Abrams tank and blow them away.

[How about if we just pull out a butterfly net for you to swing during your extended visit to Happy Farms?]

We have got so much more ammunition than Republicans have that it won't even be a fair fight - it'll be a massacre. All we have to do is pick up the right weapons, and keep blasting away. All we have to do is load our weapons with Examples Of Awful Governance, and we'll never run out of ammo.

[KOmmie occams hatchet apparently never gave up playing with his childhood toy soldiers in the sandbox.]

We don't even need to attack from the left, or the middle - or anywhere on the Political Spectrum. We just need to attack from Reality. Hell, there's ammunition lying on the ground, everywhere you look. And that ammunition is -The Truth.

[Speaking of Reality. Just continue playing soldier in the sandbox while Reality passes you by.]

If there's one thing the Republicans and their enablers are afraid of, it's The Truth. If there's one issue the Republicans don't want to have to run on, it's The Truth. "Demonizing" Republicans isn't even necessary - all we have to do is TELL THE TRUTH - the truth will show them for the demons they are. Tell the Truth - Republicans can't stand that. They will run from it like vampires from sunshine.

[Like the way you are now running from Reality?]

In politics, you're guilty until proven innocent. If we say, for instance - in a unified, uniform, unblinking way - that the Bush administration has been spying on political enemies, the Republicans have no good responses. Never mind that they will say, "Well, we don't do that." And we'll say, "Why are you spying on political enemies?" And they'll say, "We don't spy on political enemies." And we'll say, "We know you're spying on political enemies - just like Nixon," and they'll have nowhere to go. And so we repeat that meme, louder and more often: JUST LIKE NIXON. And again, they'll have nowhere to go with that - there's no good response that won't raise more questions and add more validity to the charge. There is no way they can defend against a relentless onslaught of that, unless they're willing to open up the NSA program (and every freaking other illegal COINTELPRO program that they're running) to scrutiny. Which they're not.

[There is absolutely NO NEED to spy on Democrats. We just need to allow you to rant openly and then Copy and Paste. Your own words are enough to sink the Democrats. Oh, and did I mention that it is all conveniently chronicled in the DUmmie FUnnies?]

And why aren't they? Simple: Because Republicans cannot withstand revelation of The Truth. This administration has buried, hidden, run from, destroyed and otherwise tried to deny The Truth since before it took office, and for good reason: When The Truth gets out about Republicans, They. Lose.

[Naw. We simply set the Diebold machines to "R".]

We need to make statements of fact that, in order to refute, would require the Bush administration and the Republicans to reveal The Truth. It's not our job to fact-check them - hell, the President doesn't have to - just to pound them into the consciousness of the American voting public. How do we do that? By acting as if they are true, and demanding that Republicans answer for them.

[Silly fact-checking. Why do we need to make sure our absurd accusations are actually TRUE?]

It's basically us saying - over and over again, about every single issue the Republicans are vulnerable on - "Have you stopped beating your wife? Have you stopped beating your wife? Have you stopped beating your wife?"

["Have you stopped beating your brain? Have you stopped beating your brain? Have you stopped beating your brain?"]

HEY, REPUBLICANS - HAVE YOU STOPPED BREAKING THE LAW?

HEY, REPUBLICANS - HAVE YOU STOPPED ROBBING THE U.S. TAXPAYER?

HEY, REPUBLICANS - HAVE YOU STOPPED SUPPORTING AN ILLEGAL, IDIOTIC WAR?

[HEY, KOMMIES - HAVE YOU STOPPED TAKING YOUR MEDS?]

And don't ask these as rhetorical questions - DEMAND an answer. Why? Because there is no good answer, and to see Republicans impaled on these questions, trying to squirm free, can only help show them for the criminals, thieves and murderers that they are.

[Stand by! Your rabies shot is almost ready.]

One of the recurring criticisms of John Kerry during the 2004 campaign was that he never met a polysyllabic word he didn't like. Too often, Democrats want to explain, when what we need to do is to sell. We don't need to launch into a full explanation about the charges we're making against Republicans - we just need to keep hammering on that nail until it's pounded home. The facts will bear us out. If we're challenged, we just keep repeating the charge, in a way that sticks - and I don't mean "sticks" like you make a case "stick" with a jury - because WE'RE NOT IN COURT HERE.

[We don't need no stinkin' rationality. We just need to blindly lash out in all directions!]

WE'RE NOT HAVING A DEBATE HERE.

WE'RE NOT DISCUSSING THE MERITS HERE.

SELLING OUR PRODUCT.

And that product is - say it with me -

[LUNACY! LUNACY! LUNACY!]

Republicans can't be trusted to do ANYTHING right.

[And, of course, no need to bother fact checking that assertion.]

We need simple, direct, messages, repeated over and over and over and over and over again by Democrats - all Democrats. The messages don't even have to fully explain the situation - we can sort the nuance out later; we don't want to get bogged down in long-winded explanations (John Kerry - remember?). Our purpose is simply to INTERRUPT the existing political "conversation." We need to put Republicans on the defensive. It's simple - when Republicans have to defend the indefensible, they lose.

[Yell the friggin' messages into the faces of the voters until they are sick of hearing us.]

All we have to do is tell the Truth. But we have to tell it in three words, maybe four. If it doesn't fit on a bumper sticker, it's too long.

[If it is any longer than a simple grunt, then the message is too complicated.]

The tactic that Democrats must unfailingly deploy whenever anyone ever tries to bring up a Republican talking point is derision and dismissal. The Republicans have strained Americans' credulity to the breaking point, and Democrats do not owe the courtesy of respect for Republicans' bullshit. Treat it appropriately: mock, deride, dismiss. Do NOT engage.

[The tactic that Democrats must unfailingly deploy whenever a Republican even tries to get a word in edgewise is to scream at them to SHUT THEIR LOUSY MOUTHS!!! You just SHUT UP!!!]

This isn't rocket science; it's the exact opposite. It's caveman logic. Don't get involved in trench warfare. We need quick, pointed strikes that speak to the visceral needs of every American. Forget nuance - go for the jugular; we can sort out the nuance later. Nuance is for pantywaists.

[Cavemen logic. FINALLY you've said something that actually makes sense. And now to hear from your fellow KOmmies...]

Fight dirty - it's patriotic.

[The new Democrat motto.]

Who Uses Fear as a Weapon? TERRORISTS AND REPUBLICANS

[One and the same in KOmmie "logic."]

Go, hatchet go! Rah rah ree, kick em in the knee!

[Fight dirty - it's patriotic.]

About f*cking time! No more timidness, no more being Mr or Mrs nice guy/gal! Kick them in the nuts when you have to!!

[That time actually came YEARS ago for you.]

Just a Few Days of a General Strike in this country would do wonders, IMHO. I wish it were possible to organize one, but I don't think it's in Americans' natures.

[Also it would mean having to pull your mouth away from the interior of your pizza carton.]

Could it be that Osama is still AWOL because the Bin Laden family and the Bush family have been close friends for decades? It'd be rather difficult to kill a close friend now, wouldn't it? Again, connect these closely placed dots, folks, and there's a very ugly and sinister picture that unfolds.

[A sinister picture of an overlarge KOmmie tinfoil hat unfolds.]

Can you say Special Prosecutor?

[Can you say Karl Rove Was Indicted Last May 12?]

Fighting dirty is sometimes the only way to victory. I remember well the 2000 presidential campaign, when Al Gore chose to take the "high road" and refrain from calling George W on his dismal record, his complete lack of qualifications for the office of POTUS, his lack of character, etc., etc. Well, we all know what happened. Fight dirty, I say, and after you've won help your vanquished adversary up of the ground, help him dust himself off, thank him for a well-fought and honorable campaign, and enlist him as your newest ally in the pursuit of the fulfillment of YOUR agenda. But first, fight the necessary fight to win.

[KOmmies riding into electoral battle, shouting their war chant: "FIGHT DIRTY!"]

The people who need nuance have already made up their minds. You're trying to influence IDIOTS, who need it SIMPLE.

[A KOmmie appeal for the idiot vote.]

Get that man to a padded room!! And don't forget the straitjacket.

[Leave KOmmie occams hatchet alone. He's on a roll!]

Yes, occam, YES!!! I am going to COMMIT this diary to FLASHCARDS, keep it in my back pocket and MEMORIZE it and USE it and ABUSE it MERCILESSLY and RELENTLESSLY AD NAUSEUM.

[Just don't recite from those flashcards in public or you might end up joining KOmmie occams hatchet at Happy Farms.]

Smear Them First

[YEAH! Get in that first smear!]

makes liberals seem desperate. If there are so many facts and truths about the Republican party...why resort to such tactics? And spying on political opponents to what end? Democrats shoot themselves in the foot so often, there's no need for the Republicans to risk spying. The claims are fairly outlandish and unless you have real proof, you come across like a left-wingnut who is so desperate to get into power that they would say anything to garner attention.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dailykos; kommies
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To: PJ-Comix
HEY, REPUBLICANS - HAVE YOU STOPPED ROBBING THE U.S. TAXPAYER?

Ha Ha Ha! As if these KOmmies would stop the plundering! They only call it robbing from the taxpayer because Bush and a Republican congress are doing it. They'd love to steal our money blow it all on their own stupid socialist programs. I bet these hypocrites would fight to someone else's death to preserve Socialist InSecurity.

81 posted on 08/23/2006 1:39:46 PM PDT by MichiganConservative (Government IS the problem.)
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To: retrokitten

That's where they get their philosophy. Hollywood feeds it to them.

Surely you didn't think they read books by great thinkers in history?


82 posted on 08/23/2006 2:46:56 PM PDT by stands2reason (ANAGRAM for the day: Socialist twaddle == Tact is disallowed)
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To: PJ-Comix

OMG! KOKO = DUFU!


83 posted on 08/23/2006 2:48:31 PM PDT by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
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To: steve-b

"lier"


Politically brilliant strategist that can't spell LIAR. Karl Rove better watch out /s


84 posted on 08/23/2006 3:03:01 PM PDT by MadLibDisease (Liberalism is a philosophy of consolation for Western Civ. as it commits suicide: Jerry Pournelle)
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To: MadLibDisease; PJ-Comix
Politically brilliant strategist that can't spell LIAR. Karl Rove better watch out /s

Yeah, PJ had a lot of fun with that in that DUFU Edition.

85 posted on 08/23/2006 3:18:29 PM PDT by steve-b ("Creation Science" is to the religous right what "Global Warming" is to the socialist left.)
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To: PJ-Comix
"So - when you get attacked with a knife, pull out a freakin' Abrams tank and blow them away...WE'RE NOT IN COURT HERE."

But you may be soon, with this kind of billingsgate.
86 posted on 08/23/2006 3:30:32 PM PDT by decal (The Key To Flexibility is Indecision)
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To: PJ-Comix
"Republicans cannot withstand revelation of The Truth."

Sure we can. We can even withstand revelation of the TruthOut.

So, KOSmiks, let's say you run up to someone and start blithering this foolish stuff to them - what are you going to do if he simply laughs in your face and walks away? You deserve no better, after all.
87 posted on 08/23/2006 3:33:34 PM PDT by decal (The Key To Flexibility is Indecision)
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To: All

I must be a morning person. For some reason I can't see anything to DUFU or KOKO this evening. It seems my DUFU divining stick works better in the morning...fortified by caffeine.


88 posted on 08/23/2006 5:18:55 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: steve-b
"And once we plant this simple truth in the MSM and the minds of the "undecided" voters, any Republican that claims He/She is NOT a lier will have to OFFER PROOF that they are NOT a lier, which, while doing so, will expose themselves and their fellow liars/Republicans as the lier they are."

I had to read this little nugget twice just to follow the logic.
I guess that's why they call us stupid. If you can't follow a train(wreck) of thought like this with one reading, you must be stoopid...or a "lier". Ok now I get it, if you don't understand gibberish the first time it's presented then the gibberish must be the TRUTH! Woo hoo, this interpretation should get me that Nobel prize.
89 posted on 08/23/2006 5:29:45 PM PDT by rikkir (Focus, people, focus, we still have work to do in November!)
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To: PJ-Comix
It's basically us saying - over and over again, about every single issue the Republicans are vulnerable on - "Have you stopped beating your wife? Have you stopped beating your wife? Have you stopped beating your wife?"

Here's one for the KOmmies: "Are you still killing babies?"

HEY, REPUBLICANS - HAVE YOU STOPPED BREAKING THE LAW?

HEY KOMMIES - HAVE YOU STOPPED WORSHIPING A LAWBREAKER?

HEY, REPUBLICANS - HAVE YOU STOPPED ROBBING THE U.S. TAXPAYER?

HEY KOMMIES - HAVE YOU STOPPED TAXING THE DEAD?

HEY, REPUBLICANS - HAVE YOU STOPPED SUPPORTING AN ILLEGAL, IDIOTIC WAR?

HEY KOMMIES - WHICH ONE OF THE 18 OR SO UN RESOLUTIONS SINCE 1991 MAKES THIS WAR ILLEGAL?

90 posted on 08/23/2006 5:58:47 PM PDT by dirtbiker (I've tried to see the liberal point of view, but I couldn't get my head that far up my a$$....)
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To: MrEdd
We don't even need to attack from the left, or the middle - or anywhere on the Political Spectrum. We just need to attack from Reality.

Which reality? Yours, or the real one? (Which is why it is called "REALity")

Hell, there's ammunition lying on the ground, everywhere you look. And that ammunition is -The Truth.

In that case, all you'll be firing are BLANKS!

91 posted on 08/23/2006 6:05:19 PM PDT by dirtbiker (I've tried to see the liberal point of view, but I couldn't get my head that far up my a$$....)
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To: PJ-Comix

If they were truly like the liberals that run Chicago, they couldn't defend themselves in any reasonable way.

Thanks to Democrats, guns are illegal in Chicago.

Liberals are idiots.


92 posted on 08/23/2006 6:14:24 PM PDT by ConservativeMind
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To: Charles Henrickson

I love that pic-the GOPranos. I would love to make a poster or even a bumper sticker of it. It's a keeper! Every time I go back to look at it, I start laughing.


93 posted on 08/23/2006 6:14:45 PM PDT by CaliGirl-R (Everything I know about Dems, I learned from Democratic Underground)
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To: PJ-Comix
Dear KOmmies,

I am the terror that flaps in the night.

I am the winged scourge of your nightmares.

Let's get dangerous!


94 posted on 08/23/2006 7:25:32 PM PDT by darkwing104 (Let's get dangerous)
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To: steve-b

I checked my handy dandy dicshunary...

I see no references to a LIER...

8-)


95 posted on 08/23/2006 7:43:43 PM PDT by Armedanddangerous (Master of Sinanju (emeritus))
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To: Armedanddangerous
I checked my handy dandy dicshunary... I see no references to a LIER...

However, you may see LAIR, which also came up on that DUmpster thread.

96 posted on 08/23/2006 7:49:48 PM PDT by steve-b ("Creation Science" is to the religous right what "Global Warming" is to the socialist left.)
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To: KJC1
Yeah, they've really been too kind this whole time and need to learn how to ratchet up the nasties. :::eyeroll:::

Sometimes I think I live in an alternate universe from most of the rest of the world. I am forced to decide if they are just lying to themselves and others or if they REALLY believe what they say.

97 posted on 08/23/2006 8:08:44 PM PDT by Dianna
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To: PJ-Comix
and then refusing to engage us in a battle over the substance of the issues, the way it's "supposed" to be done.

Are you fricken kidding me? For the last 6 years we've been trying to debate the War on Terror with you, and your best response has been "nya! nya!". What a joke.

BTW, whats IS your foreign policy plan? You've had six yrs to come up with one...

98 posted on 08/23/2006 8:14:07 PM PDT by Fenris6 (3 Purple Hearts in 4 months w/o missing a day of work? He's either John Rambo or a Fraud)
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To: steve-b

Ive since been informed that this is an example of progressive spelling.

Apparently, the spelling of certain words does not matter if you CARE more than a conservative.


99 posted on 08/23/2006 8:14:55 PM PDT by Armedanddangerous (Master of Sinanju (emeritus))
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To: PJ-Comix
WE'RE NOT HAVING A DEBATE HERE.

They never want to debate actual issues, because they are totalitarians at heart.

100 posted on 08/23/2006 9:38:53 PM PDT by denydenydeny
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