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DUmmie FUnnies 08-23-06 (KOmmie Plan To Turn Democrats Into Untouchables)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | August 23,2006 | KOmmie occams hatchet, KOmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 08/23/2006 7:02:08 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

Remember all the Democrat talk just a few years ago about the need for a "civil discourse?" Well, you can throw that out the window. Now Democrats want to act like in-your-face tough guys as you can see in this Daily Kos KOmmie THREAD titled, "Democrats must take the gloves off." The tough guy KOmmie Klown who authored this piece of laughable false bravado is none other than KOmmie occams hatchet who came up with another comedic gem: KOmmies Claim Terror Alerts Are Just Republican Fear Mongering. So let us now remove the restraining straps from KOmmie occams hatchet and watch him rabidly rant in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, about to enjoy another full moon KOmmie edition of the DUmmie FUnnies, is in the [brackets]:

Democrats must take the gloves off

[Says KOmmie occams hatchet as he takes off his restraining straps.]

"You wanna know how you do it? Here's how: They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way, and that's how you get Capone! Now - do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that?"

[A moment of Divine Revelation! KOmmie occams hatchet gets his inspiration from a fictional movie character in his effort to turn the Democrats into Untouchables. No one would want to touch them if they took his advice.]

Are Democrats ready to do that? Have Democrats "had enough" cowering, groveling, simpering, appeasing, pussyfooting, equivocating and generally eating the crap of Republican abuse for the past six years to finally do what needs to be done to change things?

[You look laughably cute when rabid foam drools out of the side of your mouth.]

The Republicans have been skirmishing Democrats for several years, nipping at our flanks, picking off supporters and candidates one by one with their "unfair" tactics, and then refusing to engage us in a battle over the substance of the issues, the way it's "supposed" to be done.

[Wake up, KOmmie occams hatchet. You seem to be having a nightmare involving a superimposing a martial fantasy on normal political campaigns.]

"Unfair! Unfair! Unfair!"

["Unclean! Unclean! Unclean!" That's what I want to yell when reading KOmmie occams hatchet.]

Shaddaaap. Get a grip. Get a spine. Start standing up for yourself. No, forget that - forget "standing up for yourself" - that's playing defense. We need to play offense. We need to turn every attack back on them. So - when you get attacked with a knife, pull out a freakin' Abrams tank and blow them away.

[How about if we just pull out a butterfly net for you to swing during your extended visit to Happy Farms?]

We have got so much more ammunition than Republicans have that it won't even be a fair fight - it'll be a massacre. All we have to do is pick up the right weapons, and keep blasting away. All we have to do is load our weapons with Examples Of Awful Governance, and we'll never run out of ammo.

[KOmmie occams hatchet apparently never gave up playing with his childhood toy soldiers in the sandbox.]

We don't even need to attack from the left, or the middle - or anywhere on the Political Spectrum. We just need to attack from Reality. Hell, there's ammunition lying on the ground, everywhere you look. And that ammunition is -The Truth.

[Speaking of Reality. Just continue playing soldier in the sandbox while Reality passes you by.]

If there's one thing the Republicans and their enablers are afraid of, it's The Truth. If there's one issue the Republicans don't want to have to run on, it's The Truth. "Demonizing" Republicans isn't even necessary - all we have to do is TELL THE TRUTH - the truth will show them for the demons they are. Tell the Truth - Republicans can't stand that. They will run from it like vampires from sunshine.

[Like the way you are now running from Reality?]

In politics, you're guilty until proven innocent. If we say, for instance - in a unified, uniform, unblinking way - that the Bush administration has been spying on political enemies, the Republicans have no good responses. Never mind that they will say, "Well, we don't do that." And we'll say, "Why are you spying on political enemies?" And they'll say, "We don't spy on political enemies." And we'll say, "We know you're spying on political enemies - just like Nixon," and they'll have nowhere to go. And so we repeat that meme, louder and more often: JUST LIKE NIXON. And again, they'll have nowhere to go with that - there's no good response that won't raise more questions and add more validity to the charge. There is no way they can defend against a relentless onslaught of that, unless they're willing to open up the NSA program (and every freaking other illegal COINTELPRO program that they're running) to scrutiny. Which they're not.

[There is absolutely NO NEED to spy on Democrats. We just need to allow you to rant openly and then Copy and Paste. Your own words are enough to sink the Democrats. Oh, and did I mention that it is all conveniently chronicled in the DUmmie FUnnies?]

And why aren't they? Simple: Because Republicans cannot withstand revelation of The Truth. This administration has buried, hidden, run from, destroyed and otherwise tried to deny The Truth since before it took office, and for good reason: When The Truth gets out about Republicans, They. Lose.

[Naw. We simply set the Diebold machines to "R".]

We need to make statements of fact that, in order to refute, would require the Bush administration and the Republicans to reveal The Truth. It's not our job to fact-check them - hell, the President doesn't have to - just to pound them into the consciousness of the American voting public. How do we do that? By acting as if they are true, and demanding that Republicans answer for them.

[Silly fact-checking. Why do we need to make sure our absurd accusations are actually TRUE?]

It's basically us saying - over and over again, about every single issue the Republicans are vulnerable on - "Have you stopped beating your wife? Have you stopped beating your wife? Have you stopped beating your wife?"

["Have you stopped beating your brain? Have you stopped beating your brain? Have you stopped beating your brain?"]

HEY, REPUBLICANS - HAVE YOU STOPPED BREAKING THE LAW?

HEY, REPUBLICANS - HAVE YOU STOPPED ROBBING THE U.S. TAXPAYER?

HEY, REPUBLICANS - HAVE YOU STOPPED SUPPORTING AN ILLEGAL, IDIOTIC WAR?

[HEY, KOMMIES - HAVE YOU STOPPED TAKING YOUR MEDS?]

And don't ask these as rhetorical questions - DEMAND an answer. Why? Because there is no good answer, and to see Republicans impaled on these questions, trying to squirm free, can only help show them for the criminals, thieves and murderers that they are.

[Stand by! Your rabies shot is almost ready.]

One of the recurring criticisms of John Kerry during the 2004 campaign was that he never met a polysyllabic word he didn't like. Too often, Democrats want to explain, when what we need to do is to sell. We don't need to launch into a full explanation about the charges we're making against Republicans - we just need to keep hammering on that nail until it's pounded home. The facts will bear us out. If we're challenged, we just keep repeating the charge, in a way that sticks - and I don't mean "sticks" like you make a case "stick" with a jury - because WE'RE NOT IN COURT HERE.

[We don't need no stinkin' rationality. We just need to blindly lash out in all directions!]

WE'RE NOT HAVING A DEBATE HERE.

WE'RE NOT DISCUSSING THE MERITS HERE.

SELLING OUR PRODUCT.

And that product is - say it with me -

[LUNACY! LUNACY! LUNACY!]

Republicans can't be trusted to do ANYTHING right.

[And, of course, no need to bother fact checking that assertion.]

We need simple, direct, messages, repeated over and over and over and over and over again by Democrats - all Democrats. The messages don't even have to fully explain the situation - we can sort the nuance out later; we don't want to get bogged down in long-winded explanations (John Kerry - remember?). Our purpose is simply to INTERRUPT the existing political "conversation." We need to put Republicans on the defensive. It's simple - when Republicans have to defend the indefensible, they lose.

[Yell the friggin' messages into the faces of the voters until they are sick of hearing us.]

All we have to do is tell the Truth. But we have to tell it in three words, maybe four. If it doesn't fit on a bumper sticker, it's too long.

[If it is any longer than a simple grunt, then the message is too complicated.]

The tactic that Democrats must unfailingly deploy whenever anyone ever tries to bring up a Republican talking point is derision and dismissal. The Republicans have strained Americans' credulity to the breaking point, and Democrats do not owe the courtesy of respect for Republicans' bullshit. Treat it appropriately: mock, deride, dismiss. Do NOT engage.

[The tactic that Democrats must unfailingly deploy whenever a Republican even tries to get a word in edgewise is to scream at them to SHUT THEIR LOUSY MOUTHS!!! You just SHUT UP!!!]

This isn't rocket science; it's the exact opposite. It's caveman logic. Don't get involved in trench warfare. We need quick, pointed strikes that speak to the visceral needs of every American. Forget nuance - go for the jugular; we can sort out the nuance later. Nuance is for pantywaists.

[Cavemen logic. FINALLY you've said something that actually makes sense. And now to hear from your fellow KOmmies...]

Fight dirty - it's patriotic.

[The new Democrat motto.]

Who Uses Fear as a Weapon? TERRORISTS AND REPUBLICANS

[One and the same in KOmmie "logic."]

Go, hatchet go! Rah rah ree, kick em in the knee!

[Fight dirty - it's patriotic.]

About f*cking time! No more timidness, no more being Mr or Mrs nice guy/gal! Kick them in the nuts when you have to!!

[That time actually came YEARS ago for you.]

Just a Few Days of a General Strike in this country would do wonders, IMHO. I wish it were possible to organize one, but I don't think it's in Americans' natures.

[Also it would mean having to pull your mouth away from the interior of your pizza carton.]

Could it be that Osama is still AWOL because the Bin Laden family and the Bush family have been close friends for decades? It'd be rather difficult to kill a close friend now, wouldn't it? Again, connect these closely placed dots, folks, and there's a very ugly and sinister picture that unfolds.

[A sinister picture of an overlarge KOmmie tinfoil hat unfolds.]

Can you say Special Prosecutor?

[Can you say Karl Rove Was Indicted Last May 12?]

Fighting dirty is sometimes the only way to victory. I remember well the 2000 presidential campaign, when Al Gore chose to take the "high road" and refrain from calling George W on his dismal record, his complete lack of qualifications for the office of POTUS, his lack of character, etc., etc. Well, we all know what happened. Fight dirty, I say, and after you've won help your vanquished adversary up of the ground, help him dust himself off, thank him for a well-fought and honorable campaign, and enlist him as your newest ally in the pursuit of the fulfillment of YOUR agenda. But first, fight the necessary fight to win.

[KOmmies riding into electoral battle, shouting their war chant: "FIGHT DIRTY!"]

The people who need nuance have already made up their minds. You're trying to influence IDIOTS, who need it SIMPLE.

[A KOmmie appeal for the idiot vote.]

Get that man to a padded room!! And don't forget the straitjacket.

[Leave KOmmie occams hatchet alone. He's on a roll!]

Yes, occam, YES!!! I am going to COMMIT this diary to FLASHCARDS, keep it in my back pocket and MEMORIZE it and USE it and ABUSE it MERCILESSLY and RELENTLESSLY AD NAUSEUM.

[Just don't recite from those flashcards in public or you might end up joining KOmmie occams hatchet at Happy Farms.]

Smear Them First

[YEAH! Get in that first smear!]

makes liberals seem desperate. If there are so many facts and truths about the Republican party...why resort to such tactics? And spying on political opponents to what end? Democrats shoot themselves in the foot so often, there's no need for the Republicans to risk spying. The claims are fairly outlandish and unless you have real proof, you come across like a left-wingnut who is so desperate to get into power that they would say anything to garner attention.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dailykos; kommies
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To: PJ-Comix
Good golly... I know the "progs" were idea-challenged, but seriously, are their only ideas (no matter how bad they are) based on movies?

Someone needs to cut off their access to BitTorrent.

61 posted on 08/23/2006 9:39:17 AM PDT by kevkrom (War is not about proportionality. Knitting is about proportionality. War is about winning.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Ness then moved to Washington, D.C. and worked for the federal government. In 1944, he left to become chairman of the Diebold Corporation, a security safe company based in Ohio.

LOL! Oh, that's just too funny...

62 posted on 08/23/2006 9:40:42 AM PDT by kevkrom (War is not about proportionality. Knitting is about proportionality. War is about winning.)
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To: NeoCaveman; SolidusRaccoon
Let's try that again. Like Raccoon said, it looks like they are already trying to shut us up by limiting our access to the internet!


63 posted on 08/23/2006 9:40:46 AM PDT by freedumb2003 (I LIKE you! When I am Ruler of Earth, yours will be a quick and painless death)
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To: gate2wire
The DUmmies just can not stop quoting movies can they?

Remember Not this day!!???

That was hilarious. Quoting an over-the-top (but good) moment in a fantasy film somehow makes these people think they ARE the characters on screen.

What sad little lives.

64 posted on 08/23/2006 9:43:31 AM PDT by freedumb2003 (I LIKE you! When I am Ruler of Earth, yours will be a quick and painless death)
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To: LUV W; Charles Henrickson
You're back!!! We missed your warped humor! :D

It's true... I've been pulling double-suty for weeks.

65 posted on 08/23/2006 9:44:03 AM PDT by kevkrom (War is not about proportionality. Knitting is about proportionality. War is about winning.)
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To: kevkrom
I've been pulling double-sutyduty for weeks.

Grumble.... grumble... "preview"... grumble...

66 posted on 08/23/2006 9:45:02 AM PDT by kevkrom (War is not about proportionality. Knitting is about proportionality. War is about winning.)
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To: PJ-Comix

When you think about it, they are really denigrating our armed forces by saying that they are too stupid to find Bin Laden if it is as easy as they think it is.


67 posted on 08/23/2006 9:48:32 AM PDT by Democratshavenobrains
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To: PJ-Comix

Can you say Slander? sure I knew you could.


68 posted on 08/23/2006 9:54:14 AM PDT by SouthernBoyupNorth ("For my wings are made of Tungsten, my flesh of glass and steel..........")
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To: freedumb2003

Let's not forget too that they are pratically salivating at the thought of bringing back the "Fairness" Doctorine too. *rolls eyes*

God forbid the truth leak out anywhere.

The DUmmies and radical Liberals can't have that.


69 posted on 08/23/2006 10:02:43 AM PDT by txradioguy (In Memory Of My Friend 1SG Tim Millsap A Co. 70th Eng. K.I.A. 25 April 2005)
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To: PJ-Comix
Could it be that Osama is still AWOL because the Bin Laden family and the Bush family have been close friends for decades? . . . Again, connect these closely placed dots, folks. . . .


70 posted on 08/23/2006 11:05:33 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Dot KOmmies.)
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To: PJ-Comix
You're trying to influence IDIOTS, who need it SIMPLE.

Which is why KOmmie occams hatchet has taken the approach he has taken today.

71 posted on 08/23/2006 11:11:28 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Idiot KOmmies.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
You're trying to influence IDIOTS, who need it SIMPLE.

That's their problem. They've already won over the stupid people. Now they need to try and sway smarter ones, and it ain't working.

72 posted on 08/23/2006 11:13:54 AM PDT by dirtboy (This tagline has been photoshopped)
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To: retrokitten
What is with the DU fascination with movies as reality??

Probably because their version of reality doesn't work so well in the real world.

73 posted on 08/23/2006 11:17:13 AM PDT by dirtboy (This tagline has been photoshopped)
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To: PJ-Comix
In politics, you're guilty until proven innocent.

Think this might be part of the problem? Perhaps they should try discussing the issues instead of acting like anyone who disagrees with them is a criminal.

If we say, for instance - in a unified, uniform, unblinking way

Well we know he has a thesaurus next to his knife/gun/tank.

- that the Bush administration has been spying on political enemies, the Republicans have no good responses. Never mind that they will say, "Well, we don't do that." And we'll say, "Why are you spying on political enemies?" And they'll say, "We don't spy on political enemies."

I'm rubber you're glue...whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you! At least they'd appeal to the 2 year old voter (who actually probably does vote democrat along with her long departed great-great grandmother).

And we'll say, "We know you're spying on political enemies - just like Nixon," and they'll have nowhere to go. And so we repeat that meme, louder and more often: JUST LIKE NIXON. And again, they'll have nowhere to go with that - there's no good response that won't raise more questions and add more validity to the charge.

Yeah, that'll work...remind people how you guys can't rip yourselves away from the past. Let them see you haven't had an original thought since Watergate.

There is no way they can defend against a relentless onslaught of that, unless they're willing to open up the NSA program (and every freaking other illegal COINTELPRO program that they're running) to scrutiny. Which they're not.

Defend against it? Hell, I want to ENCOURAGE you to do this. Aside from the fact that you'll look like a raving, neutered idiot without any REAL ideas, even the most "caveman-like" among us (in your eyes that's everyone who doesn't agree with you, which is a big part of your problem...but that's another nuanced subject) want proof.

I swear this guy is a plant...no one can be this paranoid and brain dead can they? Oh please, oh please oh PLEASE...use this idea (I double dare you to infinity)!!!

Cindie

74 posted on 08/23/2006 11:21:49 AM PDT by gardencatz (let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard...anyone? Mr. Garrison)
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To: gardencatz
In politics, you're guilty until proven innocent.

Think this might be part of the problem?

That, and the fact that their hero Bill Clinton was never guilty of anything in their eyes, despite having been proven guilty time and time again. Shows yet again how selective their standards are.

75 posted on 08/23/2006 11:27:18 AM PDT by dirtboy (This tagline has been photoshopped)
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To: PJ-Comix
Democrats shoot themselves in the foot so often. . . .



76 posted on 08/23/2006 11:30:53 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (DUmmies and KOmmies are for gun control except when advocating armed revolution.)
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To: PJ-Comix
the Bush administration has been spying on political enemies, the Republicans have no good responses. Never mind that they will say, "Well, we don't do that." And we'll say, "Why are you spying on political enemies?" And they'll say, "We don't spy on political enemies." And we'll say, "We know you're spying on political enemies - just like Nixon," and they'll have nowhere to go. And so we repeat that meme, louder and more often: JUST LIKE NIXON...There is no way they can defend against a relentless onslaught of that,

Um, so you just keep lying until people believe it? LOL! How about this response: "We're spying on terrorists, because we actually care about national security. You apparently do not care about terrorism.


77 posted on 08/23/2006 11:37:41 AM PDT by The Old Hoosier (Right makes might.)
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To: chesley

This must be that "fact-based community" that we've been hearing so much about.


78 posted on 08/23/2006 12:23:31 PM PDT by Gordongekko909 (I know. Let's cut his WHOLE BODY off.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Why do they think this technique is "new?"

It's not like they haven't been lying about President Bush for 6 years, or calling him a terrorist, Hitler, a liar, and stupid.

Yeah, they've really been too kind this whole time and need to learn how to ratchet up the nasties. :::eyeroll:::


79 posted on 08/23/2006 12:49:34 PM PDT by KJC1 ("Thank you for the Hezbollah view." (Tony Snow to Helen Thomas))
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To: Gordongekko909

Yes, down Insanity Street to the left.


80 posted on 08/23/2006 1:17:02 PM PDT by chesley (Republicans don't deserve to win, but America does not deserve the Dhimmicrats.)
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