Posted on 05/22/2006 6:22:32 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
Okay, here is the latest in the Hoaxmas saga. TruthOut followed up their first Partial Birth Apology with a SECOND Partial Birth Apology in which they AGAIN said nothing except they were sticking by their Hoaxmas story through Hell or High Water. As for Pied Piper Pitt. He is still MIA and is suspected of hiding out in the Furorbunker in the desperate hope that he can beat back the Hoaxmas backlash. Rumor has it that he is deluding himself with fantasy scenarios in which Hoaxmax may still turn out to be true. And he might be getting some sustenance from this Daily Kos FANTASY titled, "Did Gonzales Kill Fitz's Rove Indictments?" According to this latest delusion, Rove really was indicted during a 15 hour lockdown (later amended to ALL DAY Friday and into Saturday night by the second TruthOut "explanation") of the the entire 4th floor of Patton Boggs but that indictment was KILLED by the Attorney General. Of course, to believe that story, one needs to believe that the cat of Rove's attorney, Robert Luskin, was not taken to the vet on that same day to check on the health of its STOOLS. Jason Leopold has stated that he will now try to disprove Luskin's alibi by calling every vet in a 20 mile radius of Washington, D.C.. So let us now explore the latest Leftist Fitzmas fantasy in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who is dedicating this DUFU edition to Luskin's cat with the healthy stools, is in the [brackets]:
The Wayne Madsen Report and the Chris Matthews Show have both floated the theory that Fitzgerald had secured indictments against Rove, but Gonzales --via McNulty-- came in at the last second and used his power as Fitzgerald's superior to kill the indictments.
[Wayne Madsen is considered to be so unreliable that his reports have been BANNED from DUmmieland which judging from what is normally permitted there must some sort of new low in lack of credibility. But continue my appropriately named Kossack, JiggyFlunknut...]
IF, this theory is true, Fitzgerald would have likely challenged McNulty's decision in court, pointing to an earlier administrative directive from then acting Attorney General James Comey that gave Fitzerald the "authority of the Attorney General." Comey is long gone, however, and was replaced by McNulty. The question then becomes what, if any, value does Comey's administrative directive have today.
[A very big IF there, Flunknut. And the theory is easily disproven by the Luskin cat stool check.]
One unfortunate realty of this scenario is that if the judge sides with McNulty, we will never know what really happened, because it will remained sealed. Which, is one explanation about why Rove is acting so smug these days and why the White House has not pulled back his public schedule.
[Or maybe Rove is so smug because he knows that a sample of the Luskin cat stools stored in a vet's lockbox in the D.C. area gives him a rock solid alibi that he never even met with Fitzgerald on May 12. And now to let the other Kossacks chime in...]
This would be a big deal.
[IF true. However, that big IF is a gigantic Firewall keeping this fantasy from breaking through to reality.]
We're talking Wayne Madsen, for Dog's sake!
[In this case, for Cat's stools!]
Even worse is to create a set of tools that are designed to perpetuate the thousand year reich and then lose power due to overwhelming incompetence in the execution if not the plan, so that your enemies now have the Patriot Act and warrantless surveilance with which to check out the money laundering of big oil, Halliburton and the Military Industrial Complex.
[You mean create a set of stools.]
I believe certain members of the Press have just about had it with Gonzales' shit.
[I believe certain members of the Press have just about had it with Lukin's cat stools.]
I'm kind of stalling for time here...
[Or stooling for time here...]
It scared the living shit out of me. I think with this latest revalation of Gonzales "we can do whatever we want" doctrine of law, it scares me even more.
[The living cat stools will scare you even more.]
Cases can be sealed for any number of reasons.
[There's a much great reason to seal cat stools.]
i was suing my boyfriend for custody of the cats and didn't want you guys to know about it
[The important thing is, did you also get custody of the cat stools?]
have some people eating crow. Jason Leopold may have been right afterall.
[Jason Leopold is right now doing some intense journalistic investigation by going into Robert Luskin's trash and checking out the cat stools for evidence in this case.]
I won't even entertain it as an option until I can find a link for Sealed v. Sealed
[You'd be better off trying to find a link for Stool v Stool Pigeon.]
It depresses me so much to think that this could possibly be true. Unfortunately, history and the psychology of this administration makes this and other horrid events plausable. I mourn for our country's loss of every ideal it stood for.
[But wouldn't your mourning be balanced out by the JOY of finding out that the Luskin cat stools are okay?]
Leopold was right vis-a-vis the indictments, what could hold them up indefinitely or dismiss them? Is there anything outside of a plea agreement, aside from firing Fitz, that could keep an indictment from being served?
[Yes. Check the prophetic cat stools for the answers.]
Folks, I don't care which side of the aisle you're on, bullshit is bullshit. It's not that I don't want Leopold to be right, it's just that he's not right. He's a liar, he's an asshole and the fact that so many people are now going to excuse him thanks to YET ANOTHER lie about this just pisses me off.
[I don't care which side of the aisle you're on, cat stools are cat stools.]
Since Fitz represents the governemnt officially, it wiil have to be a bribe to the Judge. So a black satchel is my speculation.
[A black stool is my speculation.]
report it 24-7, or just give it the Downing Street Memoranda Treatment?
[Downing Street Memos are excellent material for wrapping up cat stools.]
I remember the day this story broke - down to where I was and who I was with - as clearly as I remember the day Kennedy was assassinated
[Let me guess. You were at the vet in order to have your cat's stools checked?]
Research? Evidence? Those things have no place in a diary like this!
[Or in a TruthOut story.]
I'd like to hear the opinions of a lot of other people on how likely this is.
[Somewhere between Nil and None.]
Does this mean that if Fitz decides NOT to indict Rove, he will not announce that fact?
[Only after NOT spending 15 hours in a lockdown on the 4th floor of Patton Boggs.]
This is the "quiet" Saturday Night Massacre.
[According to TruthOut the Patton Boggs lockdown lasted ALL DAY Friday into Saturday Night thus making a "Saturday Night Massacre" possible.]
This foaming-at-the-mouth speculation accomplishes zilch. Jason Leopold overreached badly. There's no point in inventing conspiracy theories to explain his failure.
[I was kind of fond of the conspiracy theory about a Patton Boggs lockdown that lasted all day Friday into Saturday night.]
I'd love to take to the streets. I'd love to "crash the gates" more than metaphorically. The Plame leak was just one more proof to me that the America I love is nearly dead. I'm willing to die a horrible death to revive it.
[I bet you wouldn't be willing to sleep with cat stools to revive it.]
Citing Wayne Madsen is unacceptable.
[But FUn!]
Stupid diaries like this one Should NOT be recommended.
[However they should be DUFUed.]
Why doesn't everybody take a deep breath, take a step back, and recognize that EVERYONE who is progressive and Democratic is under a LOT of stress as we do what we can to hold the fragments of our country together by keeping our fingers in the cracks of the dam. Karl Rove is the epitome of what makes the Bush Administration so malevolent, so deceitful and destructive to the good names and lives of many decent Americans; and I'm second to NO ONE in wanting him to get his just desserts. However, I think WE'RE ALL STARTING TO FREAK OUT A LITTLE because we're so DAMNED IMPATIENT...and what results is speculation after speculation after bad report after bad journalism--and thus, our response to it is to start going at each other's f*cking throats?
[Watching Leftists FREAK OUT is FUn to watch!]
I don't know which is more annoying: the way some people here pretend they know what the f*ck they're talking about, when they don't have a clue, or the unrestrained hostility they have for people who actually know of what they speak.
[I just LOVE these Lose/Lose situations!]
Maybe we can get ct to create a filter that autmatically puts a clown suit on any diary that contains the strings Wayne Madsen and/or Jason Leopold. I think that would take care of the problem.
[Or a pile of cat stools on any such diary.]
This diary really pissed me off. I'm still very upset that no indictments of Rove have come down yet. I really hope this diary is wrong. At the same time -- what is going on??? There is no way you can convince me that Fitzgerald doesn't have enough to indict. Sure he has. WHY HASN'T IT HAPPENED??? I'm getting pissed at Fitzgerald at this point. If Rove walks away from this, I swear....
[....I'll never look at another cat stool again.]
This is bullshit. Shut your f*cking piehole about the psychiatrist stuff. Call the guy an asshole. Tell him he's delusional. Gang up on him with Armando, and anyone else who feels like piling on. But please shut up with all your comments about mental illness and psychiatrists.
[Support mental health or I'LL KILL YOU!!!]
As someone who has been diagnosed with chronic clinical depression who takes a daily maximum dose of Zoloft, I think I am perfectly entitled to tell someone else that they're crazy.
[It takes one to know one.]
Just let the process work, and kill the bullshit baseless specualting. Leave that to the pros such as Leoplold.
[Finally, Jason Leopold gets the proper respect for his body of work.]
Because of this insanity we are giving all the talking heads and Rightwing blogs ammunition to smack us down and call us foolish and conspiracy theorist.
[Hee! Hee!]
And don't think we're not grateful.
LOL, yep.
And there always seems to be a new female around the place. Must be his charm and good looks.
From that article:
"The cat's medical tests, Luskin says, found that "the stools were free of harmful parasites, which is more than I can say for this case."
Buahaha! Luskin really knocks it out of the park with that one!
"Since this Fitzmas story is now centering around cat stools, I can understand why TruthOut thought they had a 'scoop.'"
Pitt is likely passed out in a pile of kitty litter in a corner of Bukowski's.
Check out today's www.instapundit.com. About six posts down.
"Eric Umansky vs Jason Leopold: Leopold, according to an e-mail from Urmansky, threatened to sue..."
Not only does the Leopold article give Luskin a chance to slam his story, he also uses it to slam Firtzgerald's case against Libby. Beautiful!
This strategy MIGHT have worked but for Pitt openly calling the DUmmie denizens "cretins", "sh**bags", etc. I think he's finished this time. There will always be a few lemmings, but he's going to be cuffed around pretty good if dares show his face.
He's the magic man, alright!
Didn't Willie say he thought Skinner out to be paying him cash for all that he does for DU?
He found the target litter.
Pied Piper Pitt's future in politics ISN'T WORTH a pile of cat stools.
I see it the same way. Either the MSM is totally cut throat and does not want to be scooped on a juicy story, so however ridiculous they must check it out.
OR
They are excited about the story as you suggest.
Probably a bit of both.
-Eric
I'm not reponsible for anything that happened last Friday at 2pm. I was at the vet with my human.
Really.
I had a similar thought after the 2004 election. The really nutty variety of lefties, who BEEELIIEEEEEVED Bush had stolen the election, wrote in their blogs: "Why are we allowing this to happen? Why aren't we taking to the streets?" It seemed to me that they wanted some sort of revolution to happen, but at the same time personally to be safe behind their computer screens. So the answer to someone who feels so passionately to write such a screed but has no intention of acting on those "convictions" would be: "Because you are a coward."
Somebody posted the following on Official DU Thread #7:
When Will Pitt returns, he will:The post was pulled (after it was copied to one of the DUmmie FUnnies threads here), but the author was not tombstoned.1. Apologize for misleading DU readers with an unsupported rumor.
2. Insist that the indictment will materialize, any business hour now.
3. Attack the skeptics without offering any substantive comment on the subject.
4. Refuse to comment on the matter and move on to other things.
5. None of the above -- he'll never show his face here again.
So....you've been to Canada, I see.
Someone needs to sign up over at DU with the moniker "Magic Man" and see how long it takes to get tombstoned.
Make sure you are arrogant, use 20 multi-syllabic words when 5 simple words would suffice, and brag about your "New York Times best-seller."
We see the MSM agenda every day. And if there's even just a remote chance that some left-wing blog will have scooped something as juicy as a Rove indictment, they'll follow it up until it can't be substantiated or proves false. I suspect this story failed on both counts.
To me, the Howard Kurtz article is just more proof (as if we needed it) that the Jason Leopold article was false. If the MSM had uncovered 'something' that could support that story, now or in the future, they wouldn't be now attacking the story and the author. No, it's now safe for them to put the hex on it. I think they've satisfied themselves that Luskin and the others are honest brokers here, and there's nothing further to investigate.
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