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8 Ways To Keep The Upper Hand With Women
AskMen.com ^ | Matthew Fitzgerald

Posted on 01/10/2006 12:53:41 PM PST by Millee

Women control us.

They can catapult us into instant, spontaneous lust, and, at the same time, into a knee-buckling fear of rejection. The very thought of a ripe, firm body can tyrannize our thoughts, leaving us sweaty and panting and out of control. And the dangling promise of sex can have us jumping through every female hoop imaginable.

Not a good situation. As men, we need to learn to turn the tables on this kind of female domination; to regain the upper hand in our interaction with the opposite sex. So how do we do this? Here are a few ways to put you back in the driver's seat in your dating life.

1- Wussy not Desperation stinks, and women can sniff out insecurity. So even if you're Brad Pitt's better-looking brother, you still need to exude tons of confidence if you want to attract the ladies. This doesn't mean arrogance or acting like a selfish jerk. It means living with a secure sense of your masculine self; a rock-solid belief in your own worthiness as a desirable man.

Don't wussy out.

Wussy guys are always seeking approval from women -- paying for female attention, pandering to their every desire, acting as if a woman is doing them a favor by even talking to them. They are desperate for sex and terrified of rejection. They hover around the fringes, hoping to get noticed by available females.

Instead of asking women out, they give them their business cards, then wait by a phone that never rings. They allow themselves to be sex-ploited by women. In other words, they act like doormats, not men. The result? Women either lose all respect and get turned off, or simply take advantage of them.

Women love confident men. So even if you feel like jelly inside, act confident around the opposite sex. Have a plan for your life. Have a direction. Work out, eat right. Feel good about yourself. Be proactive in your relations with women. All this will show on your face and women will instantly recognize it.

2- No more games Playing hard-to-get, not returning phone calls, seeing how many hoops they can make a guy jump through -- women love to play these games. Games empower women. They instinctively know how to keep men off-balance and how to keep them coming back, panting for more. Every game a woman plays is a test in her mind -- she's testing you too see how much you'll put up with (in other words, how much can she get away with), how desperate you are for sex and how successful your dating life is (the more you tolerate her tests, the more of a dating loser you are).

So if you want to get the upper hand, you absolutely have to call her on her games. If she plays hard to get, then tell her you have no time for it, and it's been nice knowing her. If she doesn't return your call, stop calling her. Most guys do the opposite -- when a women makes herself unavailable, they double or triple the effort of their pursuit. They call 10 times a day. They send flowers. They show up at her workplace. They play right into a woman's hands and surrender all control of the relationship. Don't do this.

Don't be desperate for sex and always have a backup 3- Keep it in your pants Women know they can control men with sex. They know that most men will do anything for even a chance at getting laid. So if you want the upper hand, you have to be the master of your domain -- you can't let Little Elvis lead you around by the nose. As soon as you need a woman, you've handed her total control on a plate. But if you change your attitude from needing to wanting, then you've taken a vital step toward upper hand freedom.

So don't jump when she offers sex. Don't always be the one who initiates bedtime fun. If she starts playing manipulation games, act like her body doesn't turn you on. If she knows she has you by the balls, it's all over, buddy.

4- Don't be at her beck & call Women love a challenge -- as soon as they find out they can't have something, they want it 100 times more. It's the basic stuff of their psychology. So at the start of a new relationship, be a bit aloof. Don't be a yes-man.

Take a page from her playbook and don't return all her calls. Be busy. Don't be available every weekend (and don't offer explanations about your plans). Keep her wondering if you really want to be with her. Make her work for it -- this will keep the power balance out of her clutches.

5- Develop a new attitude Putting women on pedestals may be great for them, but it's dating suicide for guys. A lot of men act like a woman is doing them a favor by dating them, as if she's a great prize they have to prove themselves worthy of attaining. In other words, women have what men want, and men have to work hard to get it. This is just another case of handing all your power over to women. So turn this around -- change your basic attitude. You're the prize, not her. It goes hand-in-hand with your essential confidence.

6- Have a backup Women love to get their way. They throw tantrums, they cry, they manipulate men with sexual blackmail. This is not to be tolerated, so at the first sign of any serious BS from your woman, be prepared to walk. If you roll over and wuss out, you're doomed. She's looking for control and you can't afford to give it to her. At the start of a new relationship, the Upper Hand Guy always has a few strings to his bow, so before you get too involved, it's not a bad idea to have a backup woman in your stable if your new girlfriend goes ballistic. This way, it's easy to take a walk with the knowledge that you have somewhere to go.

7- Be awesome in bed Unlike men, women can get laid any time they desire, simply by asking. But women are far more discriminating about their sexual choices than men are -- and they are looking for great sex. To maintain the upper hand, you have to make sure you're a champion between the sheets. Most guys are so average in the sex department that if you know how to please her, she won't want to lose you. This gives you excellent upper-hand leverage.

8- Make a ton of money If you really want the upper hand, get rich -- you will have women kissing your feet.

stay on top

Women love to control relationships. And too many guys just wuss out and hand over all their power, letting their sex drive get in the way of any common sense. But it doesn't have to be like this, as long as we guys make the effort to change the balance of this power, to take back the upper hand.

Ultimately, a relationship should not be about control, but about partnership -- a lesson that women will only learn if we take the upper hand and teach them.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: genderwars; pissant; wimmenarescary; women
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

Considering some guys would screw a paper towel roll if they had the chance, I do think even someone as grotesque as Helen Thomas could also get laid if she tried just a little.

And ixnay on that mirror comment. I've seen your picture and you need to lay off the self-deprecating comments, IMHO.


41 posted on 01/10/2006 1:09:37 PM PST by RockinRight (The Republicans Suck Less than the Democrats)
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To: LongElegantLegs

HEY!... give that back!


42 posted on 01/10/2006 1:09:43 PM PST by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: All

For all those guys who are King, until their wife gets home:



Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender,
"Pour me a stiff one.  I just had another fight with the little woman."

"Oh yeah?" said Charlie.  "And how did this one end?"

"When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her
hands and knees."

"Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch!  What did she say?"

She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken s**t
!"

43 posted on 01/10/2006 1:09:51 PM PST by areafiftyone (Politicians Are Like Diapers, Both Need To Be Changed Often And For The Same Reason!)
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To: day10

Oh c'mon now "professor"...LOL


44 posted on 01/10/2006 1:10:02 PM PST by EX52D (Happy New Year Freepers!)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

Well now lol

This conversation just went in a different direction :P


45 posted on 01/10/2006 1:10:09 PM PST by Leatherneck_MT (Uncommon Valor was a common Virtue)
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To: TexasCajun

Remember the scene in the Steve Martin movie "Roxanne"?

Well, I have a big nose, too, Freeperettes!! LOL


46 posted on 01/10/2006 1:10:30 PM PST by day10 (Wherever you come near the human race there's layers and layers of nonsense.)
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To: Millee
So even if you feel like jelly inside, act confident around the opposite sex.

Unless you want a woman that can't tell the difference between the real thing and an act...you had better build real confidence and not fake it.

47 posted on 01/10/2006 1:10:32 PM PST by Dark Skies ("A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants." -- Churchill)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

Darlin',

It ALREADY is a Wimmen R'Evil thread.

It's getting very tiring....

Think I go over to my writers sight and bash guys for a while.

At least there, there are no men to butt in and complain ;)


48 posted on 01/10/2006 1:10:59 PM PST by najida (When I'm good, I'm very very good, and when I'm bad, things get broken.)
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To: day10
Uh-uh. You were pinged, so you're automatically entered into the fray.

You've been given the tools to "control" this thread, use them wisely! ;o)
49 posted on 01/10/2006 1:11:11 PM PST by Millee (I resolve to eat and drink less.....until noon that is.....)
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To: Zeppelin

That would guarantee she'd read it...


50 posted on 01/10/2006 1:11:15 PM PST by RockinRight (The Republicans Suck Less than the Democrats)
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To: LongElegantLegs

Hey, I just got dumped Christmas Eve, cut me some slack!!


51 posted on 01/10/2006 1:12:30 PM PST by RockinRight (The Republicans Suck Less than the Democrats)
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To: EX52D

I thought my name had changed?

His Majesty, remember? LOL


52 posted on 01/10/2006 1:12:44 PM PST by day10 (Wherever you come near the human race there's layers and layers of nonsense.)
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To: RockinRight

I tell the truth as I see it. LOL


53 posted on 01/10/2006 1:13:06 PM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.)
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To: day10

You have my undivided attention...LOL


54 posted on 01/10/2006 1:13:21 PM PST by EX52D (Happy New Year Freepers!)
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To: najida

For men, sex is like pizza. Even when it's bad, it's still kinda good, and you'll still eat it until you're full.


55 posted on 01/10/2006 1:13:42 PM PST by RockinRight (The Republicans Suck Less than the Democrats)
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To: Leatherneck_MT

Do you like me better evil or naughty?


56 posted on 01/10/2006 1:14:05 PM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.)
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To: RockinRight

LOL...sorry RR

I know you are a sweetie from prior posts ;)


57 posted on 01/10/2006 1:14:09 PM PST by PaulaB (You sure are a weird kid...but I like you)
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To: LongElegantLegs

OK, I'm posting this just because I love the costume (OK, and the dancer too :)

58 posted on 01/10/2006 1:14:11 PM PST by najida (When I'm good, I'm very very good, and when I'm bad, things get broken.)
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To: Zeppelin

What happened to Missyme?


59 posted on 01/10/2006 1:14:12 PM PST by Auntbee
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To: EX52D

This is going downhill fast......


60 posted on 01/10/2006 1:14:25 PM PST by day10 (Wherever you come near the human race there's layers and layers of nonsense.)
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