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DUmmie FUnnies 12-30-05 (Pied PIper Pitt's Fictional Response To DUmmie FUnnies)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 30, 2005 | William Rives Pitt and PJ-Comix

Posted on 12/30/2005 5:24:52 AM PST by PJ-Comix

Talk about Reality Challenged DUmmies! First William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt posts this Reality Challenged THREAD titled, "Going Too Far (or, my conversation with the Bush supporter at the bar)" in which he was MIRACULOUSLY able to reproduce in word-for-word detail a long conversation he had with Ty, whom Pitt described as a Bush supporter who, under the guidance of the All-Wise and erudite Pitt, was able to see the error of his ways. Maybe I am far inferior to the incredible Pitt intellect but, sans tape recorder, I would be hard pressed to reproduce in quotes a long conversation I had even a few minutes earlier, much less from a least a day before as Pitt indicated. Even some DUmmies cast aspersions on Pitt's claim of being able to reproduce his conversation in all its fine detail. Then late last night, Pitt posted a reality challenged (fictional) account of what transpired between us in this DUmmie THREAD titled, in Pittian style, "In the shadow of staggering assholes." Pied Piper Pitt's fictional fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, about to correct the fictional record, is in the [brackets]:

In the shadow of staggering assholes

[Still talking about your failed September rally, eh Pitt?]

FOR THE RECORD: I say "Some DUer" in the post below because he introduced himself on the phone with a DU screen name. I will not repeat it; I don't know if this person is a banned former member or what, but regardless, I am not going to make Captain Ass any more famous. Don't ask who it was, either in this thread or via PM. I will not say. Sufficed to say, the following did happen, and the person was a present or former DUer.

[Congratulations for getting to the fiction RIGHT AWAY. FOR THE RECORD: I am not now nor have I ever been a DUmmie. And "DUmmie FUnnies" which is how I introduced myself, is a DUmmie screen name?]

Y'all maybe saw the essay I put up here yesterday, about my conversation with the bouncer at my bar:

["Y'all." Isn't that the type of terminology you ascribe to unenlightened Bush supporters in stark contrast to your own erudite commentary?]

http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/122905A.shtml

["Truthout." Appropriate name.]

Well, some folks in the thread I put up on this doubted that it was true. That's fine. I laid a challenge on the table: Ten thousand dollars says anyone can come to Boston, meet this guy, and hear from him that what I wrote was true. If I lied, I pay. If I spoke true, they pay. Strangely, no one took me up on it. Go figure.

[Why go to the trouble of hopping a flight to Boston? Making a phone call is a bit easier.]

Well.

[Will.]

Today, apparently, some DUer who doesn't much like me decided to go a different route. I didn't name the bar I go to in the piece, but this DUer knew which one it was. That means, probably, that he came to Boston for the DNC and I took him into the bosom of my hospitality, brought him to my bar, bought him beers, etc.

[LOL! The fictional assumptions in that paragraph are astounding. First of all, I have never even been to Boston ever plus, I assure you I am not now nor have I ever been in the DNC. As to the "bosom of your hospitality..." Sorry, I don't swing that way.]

This DUer called Ty AT WORK to pester him about the substance of the essay. Demanded to read the essay to him on the phone, so he could ask if the quotes were accurate. Demanded and demanded and demanded, as if he had a right to f*ck with this guy at work.

[Actually, inspired by YOUR challenge, I called a couple of Boston establishments asking if a Ty or someone from New Orleans worked there. Two to be exact. Both told me no Ty worked there. End of conversation. Oh, and I checked my cell phone log and the total elapsed time of the call to the bar where Ty did work act was exactly 36 seconds. Hardly time to Demand and demand and demand. An account of those phone calls was posted on this Free Republic THREAD at Reply #72 right after they happened.]

Ever have a random stranger call you at work?

[Yes. And I always enjoy the break from the routine it affords me. Of course, I never actually talked to Ty when I made those first two calls.]

Add to that the rules of this place of work: Personal calls are for emergency use only. So my boy winds up getting talked to by his two bosses because this DUer called and pushed, and pushed, and pushed, to talk to Ty.

[I asked if Ty or someone from New Orleans worked there. When told no, I hung up. Total elapsed phone time according to my cell phone log was 36 seconds. "Pushed, and pushed, and pushed, and pushed?" Perhaps in your fictional alternate reality, Pitt.]

Why?

[Why write such astounding fiction? Continue...]

Because this DUer fancies himself a writer in his own right. But rather than carve out a place for himself the hard way like I did through hard work, dilligence, truth-telling and the development of sources over ten years, this DUer wanted to take a shortcut. He called Ty to try to get him to say I lied in my story.

[Actually Ty called ME back later as I recounted immediately afterward in my Reply #111 in this Free Republic THREAD. He had NOT heard about your piece about him and was curious for me to read it to him. He even waited until I booted up my computer. Since the connection was bad, Ty told me he would call back later on a landline so he could hear the rest of the piece. Oh, and that part about "truth telling" by Pitt gave me a chuckle.]

In other words, this DUer tried to crawl up over my back, tried to get immediately famous by "exposing" me. That way, he could write about it and make a splash.

[You've already been exposed MANY times in your own words here on the DUmmie FUnnies, Pitt. My fave was the bit about a fascistic "Third American Empire" and how rampant fanatical nationalism was born the day the USA won the 1980 Olympic Hockey Game against the Soviet Union.]

Too bad for him, though, that the story was true. Ty had his number from the earlier call, and I called this asshat back, and handed the phone to Ty. Ty said, "Every word Will wrote was truth. He quoted me exactly. I don't need motherf*ckers calling me at work. F*ck off."

[WRONG AGAIN, Baked Bean Breath! You called me back and told me Ty was standing next to you when I asked if he was there. Then you REFUSED to let me read to Ty word for word your own piece. Get your fictional narrative straight, Pitt. Oh, and here is the account at Reply #129 at this FR THREAD immediately after you called me. Five minutes later (according to phone log) I called you back and Ty in that timeframe had somehow miraculously read that piece at the bar which sparked my skeptical antenna. An account of this posted immediately afterwards in my Reply #143 on this FR THREAD.]

Now here's the funny part.

[DUmmie threads are ALWAYS FUnnie.]

I got back on the phone with this poor excuse for a poop, and he tries to grill me on ANSWER, tries to grill me on impeachment, tries to pry a story out of his failed attempt to f*ck with my friend. After I finished yelling at him, he said, "Well, I have a lot of good material now." It was pathetic.

[Not as pathetic as your claim that even though you admitted that PDA worked with A.N.S.W.E.R. to organize the September Rally, you yourself NEVER EVER had any dealings with ANYBODY from A.N.S.W.E.R.. Yes, you were hermetically sealed and remained virgin pure. Oh, and you claimed that you never read the leftist Daily Kos piece declaring the September rally to have been an embarrassing flop. More fiction, Pitt?]

But not as pathetic as when he said, "So, will you do a podcast for me?"

[That was in FIVE MINUTES later (according to cell phone log) when I called you back. Yes, I am planning a DUFU Podcast and to make it interesting I want guests who are either not into politics are have loony leftwing views like you, Pitt. Invitation still open. I'll even allow you to read your fiction on the Podcast.]

I told him to f*ck himself. Loudly, colorfully, offering both directions and a map.

[No directions and map did you give but you did curse colorfully. I'll give you that, Pitt.]

Morals:

1. I don't lie in my essays;

[I BEEEEELEEEEVEEEE!!! I BEEEEELEEEEEVE that Pied Piper Pitt has the astounding ability to accurately quote long detailed conversations WORD FOR WORD days after they take place without the use of a tape recorder. I BEEEEEELEEEEEEVE!!!]

2. If you have questions, I am not hard to find;

[Why go to you for a source? Just from this post you are proving yourself to be a fiction spinner.]

3. Don't f*ck with my friends;

[Maybe you shouldn't PUBLICLY post private "conversations" with friends and then offer a money bounty on its veracity.]

4. Don't try to crawl over my back to make yourself famous. Put the work in;

[DUmmie FUnnies already has the BIGGEST Ping List on the FR. However, I do give you credit for the wealth of comedic material you have provided the DUFUs in the past, Pitt.]

5. Ty wants to eat this guy's liver; he genuienly wants to do violence to this person, so f*cking with Ty is a bad idea;

[Maybe Ty will eat YOUR liver when he actually gets around to reading how you portrayed him plus that public bounty offer you made, Pitt.]

6. Don't beg for a podcast after making an asshole out of yourself.

[I think it was more "ask" than "beg." Strange thing is that Publicity Hound Pitt, after initially rejecting the idea, then started to seem open to it. Offer still stands, Pitt.]

Final moral: We are all in this together, but some think this is all a big paycheck. This guy wanted to do damage to me in order to better his own pathetic state of affairs, and had no hesitation to f*ck with a friend of mine he had never met in order to do so.

[I'm not so sure he will be a friend of yours after he reads what you wrote about him. That plus your public bounty offer.]

In other words, some pigs think they are more equal than others.

[Try actually reading "Animal Farm," Pitt. It's anti-communist theme might even seep thru your thick skull.]

Anyway, this was my night. Fun, eh?

[Fiction, eh?]

Anyone who thinks being well-known (for me, even minorly well-known) is a good thing needs a beating. I can't write a personal essay without the people involved getting messed with.

[Maybe you shouldn't publicly offer bounties to defend your dubious veracity, Pitt. In any event, if your account of your original conversation with Ty is as accurate as the fiction you spun here, no wonder folks are casting doubt on it. However, thanx mucho for that chuckle about me being in the DNC!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: du; dufu; dummie; dummies; pitt; ty; williampitt
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To: DJ MacWoW; PJ-Comix
it's hysterical that they're all crying "OMG! It IS a Freeper!" and don't realise they just proved Pitt lied when he said: Today, apparently, some DUer who doesn't much like me. . . . He REPEATEDLY claims you to be a known DUer.

It shows Truth-Seeking Journalist Pitt is either lying or incompetent--take your pick--and yet they don't care. Just like with his betrayal of Andy.

161 posted on 12/30/2005 3:30:59 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Pitt has not slept since April.)
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To: DJ MacWoW; PJ-Comix; commonguymd

Pitt killed Andy, you know. His questioning of Andy's claims opened the floodgates of doubt, delayed Andy's surgery, and ultimately killed him. That graveyard rat.


162 posted on 12/30/2005 3:34:01 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Employing DUmmie logic.)
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To: Mr. Silverback

(Pssst...Whatever else Pitt may be, he's not gay.)

The pic of him and the lookalike who were caught mugging it up on camera pretending to kiss was just them playing around. Pitt had a fiance of some years duration and they broke up, tried to get back together and then broke up again. He got reamed (punny, punny!) on DU for spending $600.00 on a evening out with her until he explained it was her birthday and part of the money had gone to buy her a watch as a gift.

Pitt, if you're reading this, I'm not stalking you and yes, I know way too much about you. I can only plead insomnia and needing something to do to put me back to sleep in the wee hours of the morn.


163 posted on 12/30/2005 3:37:47 PM PST by Sally'sConcerns (Native Texan, now in SW Ok..)
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To: DJ MacWoW
Thanks for the fun. It always a scream when you poke your ant farm with a sharp stick!

They turn into swirling, raging fire ants, don't they?


164 posted on 12/30/2005 3:41:29 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (Our DUmmie Ant Farm!)
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel; Mr. Silverback
"Ty is indeed a mouth-breathing idiot of Cletus the slack-jawed yokel proportion."

You gonna take that from him?

165 posted on 12/30/2005 4:24:04 PM PST by Charles Henrickson ("Cletus the slack-jawed yokel"?)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Ha ha, I never get tired of seeing that pic!


166 posted on 12/30/2005 4:24:16 PM PST by KJC1
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To: feinswinesuksass
Pitt himself has TOLD us where this bar is! One-to-two minutes of Googling spills the beans:

I spent the entire division series, the entire American League championship series, and the entire World Series sitting in the same bar (Bukowski's Tavern) on the same stool (fourth from the right) drinking the same beer (Pabst Blue Ribbon) with the same dinner (beef stew). . . .


167 posted on 12/30/2005 4:34:04 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (On toothout.org)
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To: PJ-Comix
I've never even been to Boston...ever.

You're not missing much. The place is full of hairy women and (spit) Red Sox fans. But I repeat myself.

168 posted on 12/30/2005 4:39:00 PM PST by Straight Vermonter (John 6: 31-69)
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To: Charles Henrickson; PJ-Comix
Ty said, "Every word Will wrote was truth. He quoted me exactly. I don't need motherf*ckers calling me at work. F*ck off." I can just picture "Ty" reading this off the card Pitt wrote out for him. Of course, that fresh, crisp $20 bill in Ty's pocket didn't hurt

After quite some time reading through this thread and all the links here and elsewhere, I agree 100%.

Ty should know that Pitt was the one who publicly posted Ty's name, city and occupation. Pitt was the one who asked folks to VISIT Ty's place of business, not just call.

It seems to me that Pitt got a little frightened when PJ offered to read to Ty what Pitt posted. Perhaps he realized how stupid he made Ty sound in his post and didn't want Ty to hear what he posted about him. Probably a good idea; maybe Ty would have gotten to use his bouncer duties, after all.

So, he stuffs a few bills in his pocket, and tells him what to say, never allowing Ty to hear what he posted. Assuming Ty is as dumb as Pitt portrays - that he couldn't find it himself later when he gets to a computer to read for himself. LOL!

In my mind, Pitt owes PJ some money. If Ty were to read what was written about him, I'd bet money he would dispute it, lol.

169 posted on 12/30/2005 4:41:19 PM PST by JLO (www.operationminnesotanice.com)
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To: Straight Vermonter

Hey now! Boston's not that bad. Wife & I had a good vacation there. Went during the Stanley Cup playoffs [Dallas Stars first, the triple overtime one]. I stupidly wore my Stars jersey around town - prob the only reason I didn't get beat up was because the Stars were facing a team that had knocked Boston out of the playoffs. Was funny walking around the pier - every hour or so, out of nowhere, some Boston accent would yell "Kick their ass tonight Dallas! Go Stars!" LOL. Fun crowd.


170 posted on 12/30/2005 5:10:20 PM PST by Fenris6 (3 Purple Hearts in 4 months w/o missing a day of work? He's either John Rambo or a Fraud)
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To: Charles Henrickson; PJ-Comix

How about a 'Please come to Boston' parody.


171 posted on 12/30/2005 5:34:07 PM PST by SCALEMAN
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To: PJ-Comix
The FUnniest thing about our conversation is how VEHEMENT that Pitt was in denying that he EVER even spoke to ANYONE from A.N.S.W.E.R. even though his PDA worked with them to organize the September rally. Actually he denied it twice. Yeah, I believe that Pitt remained hermetically sealed from A.N.S.W.E.R. and remained virgin pure. I BEEEEEELEEEEEVE!!!

This might be what you you are looking for.

"William Rivers Pitt Falls Into War Party's Trap One of the most vocal opponents of the US invasion and occupation of Iraq, William Rivers Pitt of Truthout, has fallen into the trap set by the War Party.

Pitt declares: If we haul stakes and leave, we risk having the country collapse permanently into a Balkanized state of civil and religious war that will help to create a terrorist stronghold in the mold of Afghanistan post-1989. This is the trap the War Party sets every time they invade a country. They create a quagmire, then argue that it will be a disaster if we leave.

During the Vietnam War, many in the Antiwar Movement argued against immediate, unconditional US withdrawal for exactly the same reason, that it would create chaos. Cries of "Negotiations Now" competed with the principled "Out Now" stance of committed antiwar activists.

But Pitt forgets this important point: the US has no right to control the future of the Iraqi people, at any time. His argument that we can't let Iraq become a balkanized or unstable government is identical to the neocons' current argument for staying in Iraq.

Pitt asks to hear feedback from his supporters on what to do to resolve his dilemma: It truly is a perfect storm Bush and his friends have dropped us into, and there are no easy answers. "Leave now!" is the wrong answer, but so is "Stay!" Please tell him."

http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:5C7ChJmy038J:www.antiwar.com/blog/comments.php%3Fid%3DP1903_0_1_0+%22william+rivers+pitt%22+%22a.n.s.w.e.r%22&hl=en

172 posted on 12/30/2005 5:41:20 PM PST by JLO (www.operationminnesotanice.com)
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To: PJ-Comix

Pitt's weaseling and spinning would be pitiful if it weren't so comical.

"I don't like ANSWER's politics. I never have any direct contact with them. I just co-organized a protest with them because they draw huge numbers, and we needed the visibility. So, I'm not linked to them, nor is PDA."

Doesn't wash. Sorry. That's like the ProtestWarriors co-sponsoring a huge demonstration with the American Nazi Party or the Klan, because "they know how to draw a crowd."

Sorry, Mr. Rivers Pittiful, but there IS such a thing as guilt by association.


173 posted on 12/30/2005 5:58:38 PM PST by Choose Ye This Day (Win the war. Confirm the judges. Cut the taxes. Control the spending. Secure the border.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
You know, he could have just as easily said, "my conversation with the bouncer at a/the bar." He could have even said, "at a/the bar I frequent." But Pitt consistently refers to it as "my" bar. Of course, as the most famous and important patron of this establishment, Pitt feels entitled to call it that.

It's hilarious the way the DUmmies have built a cult of personality around Pitt in their little domain. Sure, we have some prominent Freepers who are more prolific and popular than others, but if anyone tried posting vanities here in the arrogant, authoritative tone Pitt does on DU, they would be cut down and ridiculed for their egotism immediately.
174 posted on 12/30/2005 6:13:30 PM PST by Welsh Rabbit
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To: Charles Henrickson

"I call it truthout the window.org"

Because of its bizzaro bent I'm surprised it isn't referred to as truth-out-to-lunch.borg.

Thanks for the songs. I can still break myself up remembering your Scamdy zingers. "I've got your pancreas."

Please continue your mission of mirth. It's very important to the well-being of all of us; after all, "a merry heart is a continual feast."
b


175 posted on 12/30/2005 6:18:34 PM PST by Barset
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To: RabidBartender
ROFL - That Pitt guy is really losing it, PJ

I don't think so, RB. One cannot loose what one does not possess.

Describes Pitt to a "t": never had it, never will....(In more ways than one...)

176 posted on 12/30/2005 6:19:46 PM PST by dirtbiker (I've tried to see the liberal point of view, but I couldn't get my head that far up my a$$....)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Pitt himself has TOLD us where this bar is! One-to-two minutes of Googling spills the beans...

shoot, i have pictures of pitt n' pals here, but i'm not sure which bar they were taken in. i'll go see if i can find the original thread in which they appeared.

177 posted on 12/30/2005 6:20:37 PM PST by feefee (rovian salt carrier)
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To: PJ-Comix
I'm still chuckling over Pitt's fictional assertion that I'm in the DNC. He had to adjust his tinfoil hat to come up with that doozie.

Adjust it? I think he ATE it for that bit of fiction.

BTW, they have found a link between aluminum and Alzheimer's. This may be the connection between tinfoil hat DUmmies and their (menial) mental capacity...

178 posted on 12/30/2005 6:25:10 PM PST by dirtbiker (I've tried to see the liberal point of view, but I couldn't get my head that far up my a$$....)
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To: PJ-Comix

http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:5C7ChJmy038J:www.antiwar.com/blog/comments.php%3Fid%3DP1903_0_1_0+%22william+rivers+pitt%22+%22a.n.s.w.e.r%22&hl=en


179 posted on 12/30/2005 6:25:46 PM PST by JLO (www.operationminnesotanice.com)
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To: commonguymd
lol... Someone is not drinking the kool-aid....

...or taking their meds...

(This is what happens when the voices in their heads stop talking to them...)

180 posted on 12/30/2005 6:29:14 PM PST by dirtbiker (I've tried to see the liberal point of view, but I couldn't get my head that far up my a$$....)
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