Posted on 11/01/2005 8:10:30 AM PST by lotsaguns
"the VICE PRESIDENTS chief of staff 5 criminal charges
i watch the republicans dodge this historic moment in our nations history
“we must stay focused…we have a job to do blah blah blah”
- over 2000 dead in iraq - over 45 million without health care - 1 in 5 american children live in POVERTY - 50% of black and hispanic kids DO NOT graduate high school
THIS IS AMERICA TODAY
dick c knew what scooter was doing lying like they all did to get us into this INSANE war - for the benefit of those who already have too much
karl rove is a criminal creep his day will come and our brainless unelected president once again on vacation
what the hell has happened to US"
Rosie who??
dyke
If you're gonna do it, you might as well do it right. This then is my brief, incomplete guide to making the Flame of the Week.
Leave your reason at the door. You must NOT have any form of conventional logic in your flame. If you're thinking then you're not writing a flame. This is possibly the hardest aspect of producing a flame and that is why we start with it. Unless you are suffering from a mental illness, you will have spent most of your life following a complex set of social rules. These are a hindrance when attempting a flame. You must create your own world and speak from there. There is no single way to do this, although tired and tested methods include illegal drug intake, sleep deprivation, compulsive masturbation and listening to Marilyn Manson.
Don't make it too long. This is an immediate signal that some form of reasoning is going on. A true flamer has at most three paragraphs in him/her before the sheer fury and hatred overcomes them and they pass out on their keyboard - hitting the send button with their forehead.
Pick a topic to rant about but for God's sake don't read anymore than the first paragraph. And don't read this very carefully either. There are jokes and smatterings of sarcasm and irony in here but these aren't for you. Everything you (don't) read is the literal truth as I see it. Once you haven't grasped the story you can start to twist the words into whatever makes you most angry.
Tie in your hatreds/prejudices. This goes with the previous point. Remember, a flame is not about responding to a story - it is merely the vehicle by which you can tell the world what's wrong with it. You must however pay the story lip service before you start to explain why kids/dogs/indians/George Daveson(?!)/women/socks/voodoo3 are the most useless and evil things in existence.
For god's sake, don't start using correct grammar. Apostrophes, capital letters, full stops do not exist in your world. And why spell a word correctly when you can write it phonetically and still get the meaning across? If possible, try to make the flame one long sentence (this is not to be attempted by first-time flamers though). Also, try to write the flame as fast as possible and you'll find many mistakes just create themselves.
Be deeply and personally abusive to the person you're writing to. Try to imagine them sleeping with your partner and laughing at you at the same time. Use all the blind hatred that the government has piled into you to help it start a war - for example, repeating the word Saddam, Slobodan, commie, or spy plane over and over again, louder and louder. Then throw out whatever comes into your head.
Word of warning: don't use too many swear words. Odd one this, but while true flamers will not let a sentence slip past without at least one profanity, imitators put in too many. You see, the flamer will - somewhere deep deep down - have a point to make. Swear words are only to be used when the struggle to explain just how wrong the world is becomes too much to bear and a good "f*ck" relieves the pressure in their skulls - briefly.
Do not reread your flame. Tell yourself you will send it as soon as you think you have finished. This will give you the element of spontaneity and will not give your rational mind time to interject.
Celebrate a successful flame by killing something. Many compulsive flamers keep a jar of insects next to their desk just for this reason.
she's good at regurgitating talking points. Other than that she is just a moon-bat with too much free time.
What happened? You lost the Senate. You lost the House. You lost the presidency 2 times in a row and now you are about to lose the Supreme Court. If your stupidity continues you will not only lose Supreme Court you will also witness the nuclear option being used to change your illegal Senate filibuster rules. Have a nice day Rosie, we certainly will.
"We can't flame like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere. Like that time I took the ferry over to Shelbyville; I needed a new heel for my shoe. So, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickle, and in those days, nickles had pictures of bumblebees on them. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we? Oh yeah, the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have any white onions, because of the war; the only thing you can get was those big yellow ones."
Moe! Larry! CHEESE!
Rosie polished off an entire can of chocolate frosting.
Rosie Red needs to move to Iraq and enjoy their new found freedoms.
Hey Fat Ass Rosie O'Donnell.
Here's just one reason why America is forced to be the garbagmen of the world, taking out the trash.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1513326/posts
Religion of Peace Vs. 8-Year Old Boy
Do like Madonna, GTFO.
My response?
Dear President Frons,If Rosie had slandered blacks, Hispanics, or gays you would have bleeped it from the entire show. But Christians, hey, they never complain, do they?
I'm never watching the program again, and I am writing your sponsors. To let insensitive bigotry stand marks you as endorsing her attack on Christianity. If she attacked the Muslims, you would be writing checks to Muslim youth groups right now...but you and I know what the real difference is, don’t we? (Even if Rosie doesn't.)
Please explain to her that fundamentalist Muslims follow their scriptures word for word, and are allowed to kill, to enslave, and to behead "the infidel". This is anyone who is not behaving within their religious guidelines. Rosie may have to endure a "tsk,tsk" here in America for the "private life" she insists on making public, but in a Muslim country, such behavior would earn her a beheading. Let her know that when have fundamentalist Christians, people who really follow our Scriptures word for word, you get ***the AMISH***. See the difference? You know that she doesn't.
With minor exceptions, My Faith stopped killing to advance God's will four hundred years ago, and those deaths resulted from leaders who wanted to misquote the Scriptures to achieve their own power goals; the original documents say to love your neighbor as yourself. The Other Guys (you remember, the religion who killed 3000 outright, destroyed as many families, and cost a bazillion dollars in destruction of property?) is following their scriptures word for word, where it says that it is Allah's will to slay the infidel, take his property, and enslave his children. See the difference? Gracious, how can Rosie possibly nanner on about moral equivalency of fundamentalist Muslims who are told it is OK to behead the infidel, and fundamentalist Christians who are told to love their neighbors?
Also inform her that if we had back the insurance money spent to pay back the property owners of the World Trade Center, the life insurance money that paid off for the innocent officeworkers killed by Muslim madmen, and all the government money paid out in compensation to the victims, the airlines, and the future medical bills of the first responders who chose to help get thousands out of the buildings before they fell, do you think we would have enough to rebuild the ancient, rundown houses in New Orleans IN STINKING SOLID GOLD!
Really, what were you thinking when you hired this bloviated, ill-informed, arrogant lighting rod? I'm certain that if some schoolyard bully came over and beat the stuffings out of her kids, she would endorse an effort to "tolerate and understand" the attacker, blame George Bush, and apologize to them for offending them. Well the schoolyard bullies in our world will burn you in your workplace, laugh while you jump a thousand feet to avoid burning to death, and cut off your head for being sexually promiscuous. Ask Rosie how wonderful it would be to live in Iran before she spews all over President Bush, and compares my religion to the murderous assassins of three thousand good Americans.
I've got to go write your sponsors now. I'll pray for you; we Christians do that. I guarantee I won't do any of the things that the Muslims do to the Infidel, although sadly, if we did, you would probably care more about not offending us.
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