Posted on 05/27/2005 7:57:06 PM PDT by America_Right
Greetings, fellow South Park Conservatives. I have been seriously considering our options as a legitimate and viable political party. The other parties, well, we just don't fit in with them.
Dems: Self explanatory. Socialist weasels that go against the very grain of everything we believe in.
Repubs: Ever-moving to the left. Currently outspending the most liberal of Democrats on everything except defending our borders, which is what their (the Federal Government's) job is supposed to be. They also want to legislate morality and tell us what we can and can't do/watch/say here in this "free" country. They are also just too moralistic and religious for us. Why should the President have to ask God for advice on every decision? Oh, and of course, their biggest flaw, NO GUTS. These guys are a bunch of whiny little pansies when it comes down to fighting the socialists. It's like they are afraid of offending someone. Sheesh. I am no longer associated with this party of linguini-spined do-nothings.
Constitution Party: A good platform, but WAY too religeous. They will have everyone going to church every Sunday under pain of death.
Liberatarians: Another good platform, but they actually want open borders. No freakin' way.
South Park Conservative Party: "America, f-yeah!" We want the government to do what it was meant to do, and no more. Stay out of our lives as much as possible.
I am not going to post an entire platform here (yet). But, I will soon be working one up if I can get some support and can get enough info to actually know how to set up something like this. Imagine seeing a name with "South Park Conservative Party" next to it on the ballot next time you vote! Only problem I have now is, what will Matt and Trey, not to mention Comedy Central, have to say about us using that name?
Thanks for listening,
Jeff
South Park Republican ping
I'm out of town and I didn't bring my ping list with me. :(
Third parties in this country go nowhere fast.
The Constipation, Losertarian, and Green parties are kook groups.
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